Surferlegend
New Member
Full Moon Party Extravaganza
Intro – Would you say you are a savvy traveler? Maybe you enjoy intelligent night life and have followed your favorite DJs to places like Ibiza or Miami (WMC) or Glastonbury. Maybe you have ripped heaps of Balearic house from the internet, listen to Radio 1 essential selections and have personally met our modern age heroes like Roger Sanchez or Pete Tong or Sander Kleinenberg. An array of Mood altering modern chemistry products may exist on your itemized list of party enhancers and you may or may not own a pair of glow sticks or some sort of a fire twirling device. If that in anyway describes you, then the place I mention below belongs on your “places to visit before I become boring” list. If none of the above appeals to your senses, hear this! If you are weird, missing a limb, misshaped, or have forgotten if you were born with a penis or a vagina, this article is also for you (just stay with me, I’ll explain).
Koh Phangan, Thailand- 170 square kilometers, 70% mountains and tropical forest, warm climate year round. The main produce is coconuts and more then one million is exported every month. 95% of the 9000 locals on the island are Buddhist. Okay, enough of this “Fodor’s guide to destinations” rambling, lets get to the personal agenda.
Who we are – For the purpose of this article our names are fictitious due to the nature of the context. Lets name my friends; Dirk, Coca, DJ C, Snake, Typhoid, and I’m DJ KGB. We are all Americans. Everyone is from NY except me, I’m from New Jersey not too far from Manhattan. For those Americans reading this, I do not do the following; drive a Camaro, pump steroids, wear a gold chain, listen to Bon Jovi. Yes I do live within 20 minutes from at least 4 different shopping malls so F. U.!!!! Sorry for the outburst, lets continue.
Helen, a friend from London recommended a place on the island called Star Huts in Thong Nai Pan Noi. Wicked far from the party itself which is in Haad Rin but definitely worth the 1 hour bumpy ride (I will also explain). We decided to spend the night before, the night during and the night after the full moon here in Thong Nai, so let’s begin.
The Night Before - A smidgen about the Thong Nai town and then we’ll move on to the Full Moon. This town is not like any I have ever seen. I imagine it would fit a description of an unrelenting LSD and mushroom user’s wet dream of a perfect place to live. The neural inter-workings of an average non-Thai local must have serious brain damage in order to sustain the incredibly low level of inactivity. Why do people whisper? That was the question on my mind throughout our short 3 day stay on this side of the island which is mostly visited by random professional drug users. The zombie like daily routine and dreary habitual existence of this town mixed together with my first experience with mushroom shakes made me feel like “Alice in wonderland” seen through a psychedelic trip.
Our Journey through town began at the “Reggae Bar” where we had our mad tea-party of magical shakes and delightful herbs served freely over the bar counter. The regulars at this place are savoir-faire hippies who effortlessly roll up their joints with two fingers as they quietly continue their tête-à-tête.
Our next stop took us to “Mr. Handsome”, a small food stand in the middle of town owned by Mr. Handsome of course. Mr. Handsome has a handsome dog which unbeknownst to regular human beings has boobies the size of watermelons but I’ll let the medical minds ponder over that achievement. We grabbed a bite to eat there as it was quite an experience. Mr. Handsome is a small tan fellow possibly in his early 40s with beautiful and lustrous flowing dark hair. He stands in front of a sign that says “The handsome family will make you feel deedly relaxed with traditional Thai massage head full body foot oil with love from Mr. Handsome” No need to try and makes sense of the sign or of MR. Handsome, as they were as much a mystery as the town itself.
As we continued our voyage through la-la land we decided to get off the beaten path and suddenly fell into a rabbit-hole where we found “Bio’s”. The entrance into this place and the passage upwards to the second floor lounge looked like a raided WWII bomb shelter that was hit numerous times by a German Messerschmitt Bf 109 bomber plane. We chose to climb up the small ladder of the structurally unsound loft built in the center of the bar that put us about 4 feet away from the ceiling on a small platform with pillows and a hammock. The Samoan bartender slash owner slash DJ is not musically inclined and almost sent our smooth high into a bad trip since he didn’t realize that while his dark techno music had repeating beats and sounded monotonously identical, a CD skipping is not part of the song and instead of bopping his head to the Skip he should’ve played the next track. After ordering two rounds of beers which most likely equaled half of the owner’s monthly wages we carefully slid down the ladder and exited this peculiar establishment. A two minute walk took us back to the beach and once at Star Huts our curious Wonderland adventure had ended. We went to sleep wondering what tomorrow would bring. It would be a night we’d never forget.
Primed for Full Moon– What to wear, when to get there, what to do once you’re there, what to expect? All viable questions that we anxiously pondered over prior to leaving for the other side of the island. The 6 of us took a couple of pulls of marijuana to relax our nerves and jumped onto the bed of our taxi pick-up truck for the long journey to Haad Rin. The ride turned out to be an up and down roller coaster with real periodical possibilities of death. The unpaved dirt road was bumpy and irregular, with craters and pot holes that can easily swallow up a scooter motorist. On top of it all, our lady driver was going over 50 miles per hour passing other pick-up trucks as if she was in the finals of a monster truck rally. After an hour of bouncing around like rag dolls we finally got there, our asses feeling sore from our uncanny taxi adventure.
The Town – Full Moon party happens on a small peninsula that contains a minute town in between two beaches called Haad Rin Nok (sunrise beach) and Haad Rin Nai (Sunset Beach). Full Mooners have the choice but mainly go to the sunrise beach as most will stay through the night to see the sunrise.
As we walked closer to the main street the mixed sounds of music, yelling and screaming were becoming louder and louder. The smell of Thai whiskey and red bull filled the air. We were walking quietly, impatiently awaiting to see what we smelled and heard. Although the walk was only about 5 minutes, it felt like forever. Once we made a left onto the main street our eyes hit us with the reality as the scene divulged in front of us. The street was a mosh pit full of people. Bar after bar filled with masses from all corners of the earth, actively partying their heads off and consuming large amounts of alcohol. Although, an incredible party scene, somehow it reminded me of San Antonio, Ibiza or Cancun, Mexico where everyone gets absolutely sloppy as the thirst for raging alcoholism takes over. This scene was definitely a smack in the face, a wake the hell up runaway train speeding toward us at 100 miles per hour. Yeah, we were not in Kansas anymore or Wonderland or whatever our Zombie little town was. Here reality was an illusion created by lack of alcohol. Somehow we knew that there was more to this fiesta. We pressed on, walking through the street to the nearest intersection which we faithfully believed would take us to the beach and ultimately the heart of the party.
Sunrise Beach – When we walked out to the beach we knew we’ve come to the promise land. The beach was about 40 yards wide and at normal walking speed would probably take about 15 minutes from one side to the other. The Multitude of people must've equaled at least 8 thousand. Staying close together we made our way through the crowds towards the far side to check out the whole scene. There are 10 establishments set up on the beach. Each equipped with some serious speaker systems producing high performance, premium sound. The bass coming from the subwoofers was incredibly deep and vibrated through my whole body.
As we continued to walk down the beach we saw astonishing fire twirling acts. In particular, there was one kid, twirling his fire stick so masterfully and with such precision, it was absolutely mind boggling. The speed and the complexity of the tricks he executed made me think of Jacky Chan, Bruce Lee, and Jet Lee’s skills put together. A large crowd of all types of inebriation levels had their eyes locked on his performance.
Getting Down to business – After watching the fire shows we decided that we can resist everything except temptation so it was time to get down to business. We needed to pick a spot, drop a pill, and let the magic carry us through the night. We hung our hat at the official House Music headquarters called the “Big Boom Bar”. Resident DJ Simon Solo and special guests were mixing up some delightful tracks. The music was just right and the people seemed in tune with every beat coming out of those powerful speakers. It was a large crowd but manageable. A patch of sand between the entrance into the bar and the large stage with people dancing on the other side is where we ended up, smack in the middle of things. We stayed here all night. There was no reason to leave.
Putting into words the vibe and the music and how we felt would be like calling a retarded kid for double dribbling, it just won’t work effectively. I will however, attempt to describe this phenomenon to the best of my 3rd grade writing ability in hope that whoever is reading this will at least catch a small glimpse of our incredible bliss.
The Music – I found this quote a long time ago and it makes perfect sense “Music is an expression of emotion put into sound”. I can not agree more as it is most evident in a sea of total strangers completely in tune with the beat. The dance music played at full moon was a mélange of multi-style fusion trends. The Big Boom Bar was kicking some deep beats with melodic interludes, uplifting percussion sounds, and a saxophone that transcended boundaries. The Smooth bass progressions, the soulful vocals, together with psychoactive drug consumption put every single person in a state of pure harmony. Our bodies and souls were purified of any disruptive thoughts and any worries that linger in our minds during our everyday existence. Nothing mattered but the house nation on one small beach in a far away land. The gentle beam of the moon lit up our surroundings. All you saw was smiles on people’s faces and it felt like they weren’t strangers anymore. We all shared something, we bonded through an experience that we would treasure forever. We didn’t have to let time pass to look back and reminisce on how great it was, we knew right there and then. The joy of life shone loud and clear.
Turn of events – “Acid? Huh? What? Where the hell did you get that???” was a question I popped to Coca at 4am when I noticed his smiley face and a new pep in his step. Have you ever heard the expression “As happy as a pig in mud”? Well he looked “As happy as a pig in mud, with two female model pigs and a Colt 45”, my nigggaaa! Apparently he and Dirk ventured out back into the town and met a new, dear friend who turned out to be a merchant of a mood enhancing chemical. He was an Israeli gentleman and a kind man. He selflessly dispenses two drops of Lysergic acid diethylamide for their enjoyment and sent them on their way.
“I want some”, I unexpectedly heard my self blurt out to Coca. I dabble a bit here and there, so on a regular day, I’d laugh at you if you told me that I would be experimenting with a remedy of such sort. Nevertheless, Coca and I disappeared into the shadows and went to visit the Israeli witch doctor at his shop, who at this point was probably a half hour away from an overdose judging by his speech and slow, shaky movements. He dribbled some liquid all over my hand and told me to lick it. Not being familiar with this substance or the fact that he just quadrupled a regular dose, I did as he said. “Hmm, tastes minty”.
The Plot thickens – “Wahoo! Let’s get this party started”! From this point until the sun came up, the music was just beautiful. As Dirk, Coca, and I, felt like we have left earth and gone to heaven, DJ C and Typhoid were also movin to the groovin. Well, actually Typhoid was just sitting down looking at sand with an occasional outburst of energy but that’s just his way of having fun. Snake was no where to be found the whole night until the morning but that’s a whole other story which I care not to discuss at this point.
Good Morning Young derelicts – As the glinting moon graciously bid us adieu and welcomed the warm sun, there was not a cloud in the sky. The gentle rays slowly came across the horizon lighting the ocean fascia which looked as peaceful as ever. The Music continued to amaze us as we partied into the morning. Around 8am the Big Boom Bar was just off the hook. As the rest of the beach was thinning out, our new home away from home was pumping progressive beats and an essential selection that would put “Sundays at Space” to bed. By this time most people have left the beach. Snake who had just arrived, DJ C, and Typhoid were in a chill mellow state of delight, enjoying every beat and every transition of the song. Dirk and Coca had the biggest smiles on their faces, it was priceless. I believe up to about 7am I was still visiting Pluto and had gone to Venus for a recreational badminton game with the Olson twins but now I was back feeling more sensational then ever.
I have to say that the last hours of dancing, when the sun came up were just pure magic. We were just going nuts not realizing that we have just danced 8 hours straight without missing a beat. I know that there were moments when we looked at each other with glee and a short chuckle because we knew that topping this experience would be close to impossible.
Slow Transition to Hell – At one point, I made my way to a vendor and purchased some H2O. I must’ve had 5 or 6 bottles as I was very dehydrated. Although still peaking I stopped to look around and take in the scenery. That was a big mistake. Please, don’t affix what I’m about to share to the obvious fact that I’m tripping my head off. Yes, I’m under manipulation of a strong chemical but my story from now until the end can certainly be backed up by any of my friends (even the ones who never visited the Israeli).
It is public knowledge that prostitutes, transsexuals (lady boys as they are called), and all kinds of weirdo’s attend these full moon parties. I have seen weird people in Koh Samui, Koh Tao, and Bangkok so this was not my first experience with the anomalous nature of this environment but what I saw here at the full moon was a perversion of another kind. How and Why God created some of these creatures that suddenly appeared around me I’ll never know. During the night, even with the full moon it was darker, the beach was filled with people from all around the world. There were many beautiful women and overall fun-loving people. As the sun came up, the crowds receded into the morning and the concentration of the supernatural had become more evident.
Let’s start with the transsexuals. Although some were extremely difficult to detect others were a freak of nature. There was a group of them in front of the Big Boom Bar as Typhoid pointed out to me. These lady boys were short, wore dresses and secretary like pumps. They were all fairly skinny with lots of make up on. But that wasn’t the abnormality that made them so grotesque. What made them grotesque is the fact that their feet were over a foot long. Their Shaqeel O’Neal size pumps were bursting at the seams from their elongated portly feet. Their meat slabs had gigantic swollen veins that made you want to throw up at the first glimpse. They walked around in circles leaving huge foot prints in the sand comparable to the hobbits from lord of the rings or the legend of big foot. They kept starring at normal people trying to attract their attention for devil knows what.
The variety of the bizarre and the creepy on this beach would have made the Munsters feel out of place. People with missing limbs were casually promenading around. Dogs hopped around on three legs with no ears and sometimes missing eyes. Midgets were fighting each other in the sand. One Midget had a red, white, and blue bandana stretched to the limit around his massive alien head. While carrying bottles of water to my friends, a giant pirate bumped into me. He was about 6”6’, built like Andre the Giant, had a patch over one eye and a gold tooth in his mouth. He puckered his brow at me. I apologized for him bumping into me and scurried away to an open area. There was a guy dressed as Spiderman who was completely out of his mind (not to be mistaken for the Ibiza Spiderman). This guy was just a freak of nature because at one point he was dancing with the big foot lady boy.
Then there were the hooligans. A group of crazy brits started a mosh pit and were kicking and punching each other in the face. One of these silly gentlemen who seemed to be getting the majority of his companion’s blows decided to fall straight on his back and requested that the crowd burry him in the sand. As his friends continued to kick him a large group of happy pillers started throwing sand on top of him. In obvious delight, he opened his mouth and started eating sand while flapping his hands in encouragement of the severe beating he was receiving from his friends and the crowd’s participation of the burial ritual.
At this point the silky smooth music and the incredible fun loving vibe disappeared into a distance as more and more freaks appeared on the scene of Big Boom Bar. Everywhere we looked we saw some sort of eccentricity that either left us in amazement or disgusted us to a point of dry heaving.
Journey through hell – As we looked at each other we knew it was time to leave. We decide to take the long way home by walking to the other side of the beach and into town. As we embarked on our walk, the abnormalities continued to become manifest at every step of the way. I was beginning to feel bad as all the creepiness was slowly starting to get to me. Our walk reminded me of Dante’s Inferno where his journey into the woods takes him through hell and purgatory. The Damned Souls were parading up and down the beach as we came to the first circle of hell, Limbo.
Limbo was a place called “Cactus Bar” and it contained a horde of Thai people. The music was strange and mellow and the Thai clientele were an odd bunch. Lot’s of toothless, misshaped, malformed creatures quietly sipping their beers and looking out onto the beach. Their intense stares made us feel uncomfortable and cautious about stopping here for any reason. I’m sure that amongst the hell creatures there were plenty of undercover cops spotting their easy pray. Since at this point I felt like I was diagonally parked in a parallel universe it was best to keep moving to avoid the weirdness and a possible life sentence in a Thai jail.
Our second level of hell or Vinyl was a large place on the beach with a monster sound system pumping some of the hardest and loudest techno I have ever heard. It had high ceilings, white paint with graffiti all over it and was completely open for our unfortunate viewing pleasure. The demons on the open stage looked like pale German kids dressed in black with occasional red lettering that said something along the lines of “Praise Satan” on their t-shirts. Their thick metal chains hung so low that they were tripping over them with their soldier type black boots. I seem to remember one chap who most likely lost any sense of reality, self respect, or feeling in his body. He was frantically twisting his contorted human form from side to side while his limp arms were freely dangling without sensation. I suppose he was making an award winning attempt at dancing to his death music but from outside looking in, it could’ve also been a seizure.
Our passage through the valley of death took us through many circles of insanity. As we reached the final establishment on the beach we were mentally and physically exhausted. “The Rock” is situated at the southern end of Haad Rin. Here many people were laying out, passed out, and others possibly dead. I presume some may have taken the same journey as us but failed to beat the final level and were now laying here lifeless and forgotten. At this point I was tripping more then ever and as we slowly made our way up the beach toward town I couldn’t wait to get away from the torment of Lucifer’s playground.
Rescue Mission - With our first steps on the dirt road I saw a light at the end of a tunnel “We will get out of here alive” I said to myself. While walking in the direction of transportation the insanity continued. A young Thai girl, hog tied and unconscious was being dragged out from the beach by her undaunted, laughing friends. An intoxicated European relieving him self on the edge of the road, side by side to a lady boy.
When we reached the pick-up trucks I don’t remember us bargaining. 100 baht, 300 baht, 1000 baht, it made no difference. It’s all monopoly money anyway. We loaded up the truck and fled the town into the mountains and the tropical forest. I couldn’t help but think that this is how the POWs in Vietnam War must’ve felt. This was a successful search and rescue mission. We were the downed combat crew effectively apprehended by our combat rescue operators and we were fleeing from the line of fire. We have survived this madness, we have beaten the odds, and now we were going home. Our sweet little zombie town suddenly seemed so pleasantly appealing. We were ecstatic that our little nook was as far from this place as possible. I believe DJ C, Typhoid, and Snake were now sober and in charge of their brain cells. Coca and Dirk were starting to win the LSD battle while most of my brain cells were still either hog tied like the Thai girl or under a siege by the aggressive “minty” chemical.
On our ride home we briefly talked about the experience. It was difficult to find words for what just happened. Mostly, we just shook our heads and laughed at our inability to make sense of the supernatural and the overwhelming drug abuse. It was ironic that in a country that gives out death penalties for smoking pot, the drug distribution was more widespread then the coconut produce. Not to say that we were innocent of the crime but we certainly did not fit the profile of about 90% of the left over human refuse that had taken over the beach after sunrise.
Home Sweet Home - “Star Huts How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways”. When we got home, we gathered some chairs and placed them in front of the bungalow. We turned on some music and laughed at how appropriate our first song selection was, Michael Jackson “Thriller”. We sat around for a little while, each in our own thoughts with an occasional funny comment to the group. DJ C, Typhoid, and Snake had gone to bed while the 3 LSD brothers decided to get some food. Although I ordered 3 plates, I couldn’t eat a bite. I went to the beach and laid down with a notion of taking a nap. Closing my eyes was like opening up a can of worms so it looked like I was in for the long ride. Coca was also still trippin and came to join me on the beach. We couldn’t help but get a bit philosophical and talk about the meaning of life. I guess an experience like this will do that to you.
Final Thoughts – The Full Moon was a mixed bag of emotions. The party scene was the best I’ve ever seen, the music was choice, the crowds (pre sunrise) were energetic and pleasant. We partied into the morning with style, enjoying every moment of it. As the sun came up the party was at its peak. The moon and sun exchange really sent the party vibe into ecstasy. It was only when the freaks took over that the mood of the party took a turn for the worst. The hooligans, the drug comatosed, the weird, the creepy, the supernatural all seemed to multiply with each additional moment we spent on the beach. The things we saw were not a figment of my imagination as we all agree. I was not hallucinating or simply inventing things. My own inebriation just amplified my detest for the madness but it did not in any way make me confused about what I saw. We all saw the same things as our stories are one of the same. Would I go back? In a second I would! I may do things a bit differently but no matter what, this place was magical in so many ways that it would make it impossible to look at a full moon here in NY and not dream about the 6 of us having the time of our lives.
Intro – Would you say you are a savvy traveler? Maybe you enjoy intelligent night life and have followed your favorite DJs to places like Ibiza or Miami (WMC) or Glastonbury. Maybe you have ripped heaps of Balearic house from the internet, listen to Radio 1 essential selections and have personally met our modern age heroes like Roger Sanchez or Pete Tong or Sander Kleinenberg. An array of Mood altering modern chemistry products may exist on your itemized list of party enhancers and you may or may not own a pair of glow sticks or some sort of a fire twirling device. If that in anyway describes you, then the place I mention below belongs on your “places to visit before I become boring” list. If none of the above appeals to your senses, hear this! If you are weird, missing a limb, misshaped, or have forgotten if you were born with a penis or a vagina, this article is also for you (just stay with me, I’ll explain).
Koh Phangan, Thailand- 170 square kilometers, 70% mountains and tropical forest, warm climate year round. The main produce is coconuts and more then one million is exported every month. 95% of the 9000 locals on the island are Buddhist. Okay, enough of this “Fodor’s guide to destinations” rambling, lets get to the personal agenda.
Who we are – For the purpose of this article our names are fictitious due to the nature of the context. Lets name my friends; Dirk, Coca, DJ C, Snake, Typhoid, and I’m DJ KGB. We are all Americans. Everyone is from NY except me, I’m from New Jersey not too far from Manhattan. For those Americans reading this, I do not do the following; drive a Camaro, pump steroids, wear a gold chain, listen to Bon Jovi. Yes I do live within 20 minutes from at least 4 different shopping malls so F. U.!!!! Sorry for the outburst, lets continue.
Helen, a friend from London recommended a place on the island called Star Huts in Thong Nai Pan Noi. Wicked far from the party itself which is in Haad Rin but definitely worth the 1 hour bumpy ride (I will also explain). We decided to spend the night before, the night during and the night after the full moon here in Thong Nai, so let’s begin.
The Night Before - A smidgen about the Thong Nai town and then we’ll move on to the Full Moon. This town is not like any I have ever seen. I imagine it would fit a description of an unrelenting LSD and mushroom user’s wet dream of a perfect place to live. The neural inter-workings of an average non-Thai local must have serious brain damage in order to sustain the incredibly low level of inactivity. Why do people whisper? That was the question on my mind throughout our short 3 day stay on this side of the island which is mostly visited by random professional drug users. The zombie like daily routine and dreary habitual existence of this town mixed together with my first experience with mushroom shakes made me feel like “Alice in wonderland” seen through a psychedelic trip.
Our Journey through town began at the “Reggae Bar” where we had our mad tea-party of magical shakes and delightful herbs served freely over the bar counter. The regulars at this place are savoir-faire hippies who effortlessly roll up their joints with two fingers as they quietly continue their tête-à-tête.
Our next stop took us to “Mr. Handsome”, a small food stand in the middle of town owned by Mr. Handsome of course. Mr. Handsome has a handsome dog which unbeknownst to regular human beings has boobies the size of watermelons but I’ll let the medical minds ponder over that achievement. We grabbed a bite to eat there as it was quite an experience. Mr. Handsome is a small tan fellow possibly in his early 40s with beautiful and lustrous flowing dark hair. He stands in front of a sign that says “The handsome family will make you feel deedly relaxed with traditional Thai massage head full body foot oil with love from Mr. Handsome” No need to try and makes sense of the sign or of MR. Handsome, as they were as much a mystery as the town itself.
As we continued our voyage through la-la land we decided to get off the beaten path and suddenly fell into a rabbit-hole where we found “Bio’s”. The entrance into this place and the passage upwards to the second floor lounge looked like a raided WWII bomb shelter that was hit numerous times by a German Messerschmitt Bf 109 bomber plane. We chose to climb up the small ladder of the structurally unsound loft built in the center of the bar that put us about 4 feet away from the ceiling on a small platform with pillows and a hammock. The Samoan bartender slash owner slash DJ is not musically inclined and almost sent our smooth high into a bad trip since he didn’t realize that while his dark techno music had repeating beats and sounded monotonously identical, a CD skipping is not part of the song and instead of bopping his head to the Skip he should’ve played the next track. After ordering two rounds of beers which most likely equaled half of the owner’s monthly wages we carefully slid down the ladder and exited this peculiar establishment. A two minute walk took us back to the beach and once at Star Huts our curious Wonderland adventure had ended. We went to sleep wondering what tomorrow would bring. It would be a night we’d never forget.
Primed for Full Moon– What to wear, when to get there, what to do once you’re there, what to expect? All viable questions that we anxiously pondered over prior to leaving for the other side of the island. The 6 of us took a couple of pulls of marijuana to relax our nerves and jumped onto the bed of our taxi pick-up truck for the long journey to Haad Rin. The ride turned out to be an up and down roller coaster with real periodical possibilities of death. The unpaved dirt road was bumpy and irregular, with craters and pot holes that can easily swallow up a scooter motorist. On top of it all, our lady driver was going over 50 miles per hour passing other pick-up trucks as if she was in the finals of a monster truck rally. After an hour of bouncing around like rag dolls we finally got there, our asses feeling sore from our uncanny taxi adventure.
The Town – Full Moon party happens on a small peninsula that contains a minute town in between two beaches called Haad Rin Nok (sunrise beach) and Haad Rin Nai (Sunset Beach). Full Mooners have the choice but mainly go to the sunrise beach as most will stay through the night to see the sunrise.
As we walked closer to the main street the mixed sounds of music, yelling and screaming were becoming louder and louder. The smell of Thai whiskey and red bull filled the air. We were walking quietly, impatiently awaiting to see what we smelled and heard. Although the walk was only about 5 minutes, it felt like forever. Once we made a left onto the main street our eyes hit us with the reality as the scene divulged in front of us. The street was a mosh pit full of people. Bar after bar filled with masses from all corners of the earth, actively partying their heads off and consuming large amounts of alcohol. Although, an incredible party scene, somehow it reminded me of San Antonio, Ibiza or Cancun, Mexico where everyone gets absolutely sloppy as the thirst for raging alcoholism takes over. This scene was definitely a smack in the face, a wake the hell up runaway train speeding toward us at 100 miles per hour. Yeah, we were not in Kansas anymore or Wonderland or whatever our Zombie little town was. Here reality was an illusion created by lack of alcohol. Somehow we knew that there was more to this fiesta. We pressed on, walking through the street to the nearest intersection which we faithfully believed would take us to the beach and ultimately the heart of the party.
Sunrise Beach – When we walked out to the beach we knew we’ve come to the promise land. The beach was about 40 yards wide and at normal walking speed would probably take about 15 minutes from one side to the other. The Multitude of people must've equaled at least 8 thousand. Staying close together we made our way through the crowds towards the far side to check out the whole scene. There are 10 establishments set up on the beach. Each equipped with some serious speaker systems producing high performance, premium sound. The bass coming from the subwoofers was incredibly deep and vibrated through my whole body.
As we continued to walk down the beach we saw astonishing fire twirling acts. In particular, there was one kid, twirling his fire stick so masterfully and with such precision, it was absolutely mind boggling. The speed and the complexity of the tricks he executed made me think of Jacky Chan, Bruce Lee, and Jet Lee’s skills put together. A large crowd of all types of inebriation levels had their eyes locked on his performance.
Getting Down to business – After watching the fire shows we decided that we can resist everything except temptation so it was time to get down to business. We needed to pick a spot, drop a pill, and let the magic carry us through the night. We hung our hat at the official House Music headquarters called the “Big Boom Bar”. Resident DJ Simon Solo and special guests were mixing up some delightful tracks. The music was just right and the people seemed in tune with every beat coming out of those powerful speakers. It was a large crowd but manageable. A patch of sand between the entrance into the bar and the large stage with people dancing on the other side is where we ended up, smack in the middle of things. We stayed here all night. There was no reason to leave.
Putting into words the vibe and the music and how we felt would be like calling a retarded kid for double dribbling, it just won’t work effectively. I will however, attempt to describe this phenomenon to the best of my 3rd grade writing ability in hope that whoever is reading this will at least catch a small glimpse of our incredible bliss.
The Music – I found this quote a long time ago and it makes perfect sense “Music is an expression of emotion put into sound”. I can not agree more as it is most evident in a sea of total strangers completely in tune with the beat. The dance music played at full moon was a mélange of multi-style fusion trends. The Big Boom Bar was kicking some deep beats with melodic interludes, uplifting percussion sounds, and a saxophone that transcended boundaries. The Smooth bass progressions, the soulful vocals, together with psychoactive drug consumption put every single person in a state of pure harmony. Our bodies and souls were purified of any disruptive thoughts and any worries that linger in our minds during our everyday existence. Nothing mattered but the house nation on one small beach in a far away land. The gentle beam of the moon lit up our surroundings. All you saw was smiles on people’s faces and it felt like they weren’t strangers anymore. We all shared something, we bonded through an experience that we would treasure forever. We didn’t have to let time pass to look back and reminisce on how great it was, we knew right there and then. The joy of life shone loud and clear.
Turn of events – “Acid? Huh? What? Where the hell did you get that???” was a question I popped to Coca at 4am when I noticed his smiley face and a new pep in his step. Have you ever heard the expression “As happy as a pig in mud”? Well he looked “As happy as a pig in mud, with two female model pigs and a Colt 45”, my nigggaaa! Apparently he and Dirk ventured out back into the town and met a new, dear friend who turned out to be a merchant of a mood enhancing chemical. He was an Israeli gentleman and a kind man. He selflessly dispenses two drops of Lysergic acid diethylamide for their enjoyment and sent them on their way.
“I want some”, I unexpectedly heard my self blurt out to Coca. I dabble a bit here and there, so on a regular day, I’d laugh at you if you told me that I would be experimenting with a remedy of such sort. Nevertheless, Coca and I disappeared into the shadows and went to visit the Israeli witch doctor at his shop, who at this point was probably a half hour away from an overdose judging by his speech and slow, shaky movements. He dribbled some liquid all over my hand and told me to lick it. Not being familiar with this substance or the fact that he just quadrupled a regular dose, I did as he said. “Hmm, tastes minty”.
The Plot thickens – “Wahoo! Let’s get this party started”! From this point until the sun came up, the music was just beautiful. As Dirk, Coca, and I, felt like we have left earth and gone to heaven, DJ C and Typhoid were also movin to the groovin. Well, actually Typhoid was just sitting down looking at sand with an occasional outburst of energy but that’s just his way of having fun. Snake was no where to be found the whole night until the morning but that’s a whole other story which I care not to discuss at this point.
Good Morning Young derelicts – As the glinting moon graciously bid us adieu and welcomed the warm sun, there was not a cloud in the sky. The gentle rays slowly came across the horizon lighting the ocean fascia which looked as peaceful as ever. The Music continued to amaze us as we partied into the morning. Around 8am the Big Boom Bar was just off the hook. As the rest of the beach was thinning out, our new home away from home was pumping progressive beats and an essential selection that would put “Sundays at Space” to bed. By this time most people have left the beach. Snake who had just arrived, DJ C, and Typhoid were in a chill mellow state of delight, enjoying every beat and every transition of the song. Dirk and Coca had the biggest smiles on their faces, it was priceless. I believe up to about 7am I was still visiting Pluto and had gone to Venus for a recreational badminton game with the Olson twins but now I was back feeling more sensational then ever.
I have to say that the last hours of dancing, when the sun came up were just pure magic. We were just going nuts not realizing that we have just danced 8 hours straight without missing a beat. I know that there were moments when we looked at each other with glee and a short chuckle because we knew that topping this experience would be close to impossible.
Slow Transition to Hell – At one point, I made my way to a vendor and purchased some H2O. I must’ve had 5 or 6 bottles as I was very dehydrated. Although still peaking I stopped to look around and take in the scenery. That was a big mistake. Please, don’t affix what I’m about to share to the obvious fact that I’m tripping my head off. Yes, I’m under manipulation of a strong chemical but my story from now until the end can certainly be backed up by any of my friends (even the ones who never visited the Israeli).
It is public knowledge that prostitutes, transsexuals (lady boys as they are called), and all kinds of weirdo’s attend these full moon parties. I have seen weird people in Koh Samui, Koh Tao, and Bangkok so this was not my first experience with the anomalous nature of this environment but what I saw here at the full moon was a perversion of another kind. How and Why God created some of these creatures that suddenly appeared around me I’ll never know. During the night, even with the full moon it was darker, the beach was filled with people from all around the world. There were many beautiful women and overall fun-loving people. As the sun came up, the crowds receded into the morning and the concentration of the supernatural had become more evident.
Let’s start with the transsexuals. Although some were extremely difficult to detect others were a freak of nature. There was a group of them in front of the Big Boom Bar as Typhoid pointed out to me. These lady boys were short, wore dresses and secretary like pumps. They were all fairly skinny with lots of make up on. But that wasn’t the abnormality that made them so grotesque. What made them grotesque is the fact that their feet were over a foot long. Their Shaqeel O’Neal size pumps were bursting at the seams from their elongated portly feet. Their meat slabs had gigantic swollen veins that made you want to throw up at the first glimpse. They walked around in circles leaving huge foot prints in the sand comparable to the hobbits from lord of the rings or the legend of big foot. They kept starring at normal people trying to attract their attention for devil knows what.
The variety of the bizarre and the creepy on this beach would have made the Munsters feel out of place. People with missing limbs were casually promenading around. Dogs hopped around on three legs with no ears and sometimes missing eyes. Midgets were fighting each other in the sand. One Midget had a red, white, and blue bandana stretched to the limit around his massive alien head. While carrying bottles of water to my friends, a giant pirate bumped into me. He was about 6”6’, built like Andre the Giant, had a patch over one eye and a gold tooth in his mouth. He puckered his brow at me. I apologized for him bumping into me and scurried away to an open area. There was a guy dressed as Spiderman who was completely out of his mind (not to be mistaken for the Ibiza Spiderman). This guy was just a freak of nature because at one point he was dancing with the big foot lady boy.
Then there were the hooligans. A group of crazy brits started a mosh pit and were kicking and punching each other in the face. One of these silly gentlemen who seemed to be getting the majority of his companion’s blows decided to fall straight on his back and requested that the crowd burry him in the sand. As his friends continued to kick him a large group of happy pillers started throwing sand on top of him. In obvious delight, he opened his mouth and started eating sand while flapping his hands in encouragement of the severe beating he was receiving from his friends and the crowd’s participation of the burial ritual.
At this point the silky smooth music and the incredible fun loving vibe disappeared into a distance as more and more freaks appeared on the scene of Big Boom Bar. Everywhere we looked we saw some sort of eccentricity that either left us in amazement or disgusted us to a point of dry heaving.
Journey through hell – As we looked at each other we knew it was time to leave. We decide to take the long way home by walking to the other side of the beach and into town. As we embarked on our walk, the abnormalities continued to become manifest at every step of the way. I was beginning to feel bad as all the creepiness was slowly starting to get to me. Our walk reminded me of Dante’s Inferno where his journey into the woods takes him through hell and purgatory. The Damned Souls were parading up and down the beach as we came to the first circle of hell, Limbo.
Limbo was a place called “Cactus Bar” and it contained a horde of Thai people. The music was strange and mellow and the Thai clientele were an odd bunch. Lot’s of toothless, misshaped, malformed creatures quietly sipping their beers and looking out onto the beach. Their intense stares made us feel uncomfortable and cautious about stopping here for any reason. I’m sure that amongst the hell creatures there were plenty of undercover cops spotting their easy pray. Since at this point I felt like I was diagonally parked in a parallel universe it was best to keep moving to avoid the weirdness and a possible life sentence in a Thai jail.
Our second level of hell or Vinyl was a large place on the beach with a monster sound system pumping some of the hardest and loudest techno I have ever heard. It had high ceilings, white paint with graffiti all over it and was completely open for our unfortunate viewing pleasure. The demons on the open stage looked like pale German kids dressed in black with occasional red lettering that said something along the lines of “Praise Satan” on their t-shirts. Their thick metal chains hung so low that they were tripping over them with their soldier type black boots. I seem to remember one chap who most likely lost any sense of reality, self respect, or feeling in his body. He was frantically twisting his contorted human form from side to side while his limp arms were freely dangling without sensation. I suppose he was making an award winning attempt at dancing to his death music but from outside looking in, it could’ve also been a seizure.
Our passage through the valley of death took us through many circles of insanity. As we reached the final establishment on the beach we were mentally and physically exhausted. “The Rock” is situated at the southern end of Haad Rin. Here many people were laying out, passed out, and others possibly dead. I presume some may have taken the same journey as us but failed to beat the final level and were now laying here lifeless and forgotten. At this point I was tripping more then ever and as we slowly made our way up the beach toward town I couldn’t wait to get away from the torment of Lucifer’s playground.
Rescue Mission - With our first steps on the dirt road I saw a light at the end of a tunnel “We will get out of here alive” I said to myself. While walking in the direction of transportation the insanity continued. A young Thai girl, hog tied and unconscious was being dragged out from the beach by her undaunted, laughing friends. An intoxicated European relieving him self on the edge of the road, side by side to a lady boy.
When we reached the pick-up trucks I don’t remember us bargaining. 100 baht, 300 baht, 1000 baht, it made no difference. It’s all monopoly money anyway. We loaded up the truck and fled the town into the mountains and the tropical forest. I couldn’t help but think that this is how the POWs in Vietnam War must’ve felt. This was a successful search and rescue mission. We were the downed combat crew effectively apprehended by our combat rescue operators and we were fleeing from the line of fire. We have survived this madness, we have beaten the odds, and now we were going home. Our sweet little zombie town suddenly seemed so pleasantly appealing. We were ecstatic that our little nook was as far from this place as possible. I believe DJ C, Typhoid, and Snake were now sober and in charge of their brain cells. Coca and Dirk were starting to win the LSD battle while most of my brain cells were still either hog tied like the Thai girl or under a siege by the aggressive “minty” chemical.
On our ride home we briefly talked about the experience. It was difficult to find words for what just happened. Mostly, we just shook our heads and laughed at our inability to make sense of the supernatural and the overwhelming drug abuse. It was ironic that in a country that gives out death penalties for smoking pot, the drug distribution was more widespread then the coconut produce. Not to say that we were innocent of the crime but we certainly did not fit the profile of about 90% of the left over human refuse that had taken over the beach after sunrise.
Home Sweet Home - “Star Huts How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways”. When we got home, we gathered some chairs and placed them in front of the bungalow. We turned on some music and laughed at how appropriate our first song selection was, Michael Jackson “Thriller”. We sat around for a little while, each in our own thoughts with an occasional funny comment to the group. DJ C, Typhoid, and Snake had gone to bed while the 3 LSD brothers decided to get some food. Although I ordered 3 plates, I couldn’t eat a bite. I went to the beach and laid down with a notion of taking a nap. Closing my eyes was like opening up a can of worms so it looked like I was in for the long ride. Coca was also still trippin and came to join me on the beach. We couldn’t help but get a bit philosophical and talk about the meaning of life. I guess an experience like this will do that to you.
Final Thoughts – The Full Moon was a mixed bag of emotions. The party scene was the best I’ve ever seen, the music was choice, the crowds (pre sunrise) were energetic and pleasant. We partied into the morning with style, enjoying every moment of it. As the sun came up the party was at its peak. The moon and sun exchange really sent the party vibe into ecstasy. It was only when the freaks took over that the mood of the party took a turn for the worst. The hooligans, the drug comatosed, the weird, the creepy, the supernatural all seemed to multiply with each additional moment we spent on the beach. The things we saw were not a figment of my imagination as we all agree. I was not hallucinating or simply inventing things. My own inebriation just amplified my detest for the madness but it did not in any way make me confused about what I saw. We all saw the same things as our stories are one of the same. Would I go back? In a second I would! I may do things a bit differently but no matter what, this place was magical in so many ways that it would make it impossible to look at a full moon here in NY and not dream about the 6 of us having the time of our lives.
and trying to snog them awake,not something many men want to wake too....