Crap Joke with far too many stereotypes...

[Jam Man]

Seamus and Paddy are tired after a hard days work. Seamus says

"Paddy, be a saint lad and fetch my slippers".

Paddy goes upstairs and walks in on Seamus' two sisters painting their toe nails in their undies, Paddy always the quick thinker says to them

"Seamus sent me up to fcuk the both of yous"

Tthe girls reply

"Bull****e!",

Paddy yells down the stairs

"Both of 'em?"

To which Seamus replies

"Of course, ye daft fecker whats the point of fcuking one?!"

 

[Warren D]

:racist

 

[puppylover]

hillarious

 

[West London Shadow]

I'm laughing and I'm a plastic Paddy who lives not too far from Kilburn.

 

[Dan x]

What's the best cheese to use, if you want to hide a horse?

Mascarpone.

 

[West London Shadow]

Why did the baker get fired?

..

..

..

..

He kneaded a poo.

 

[russ]

why did the chipshop owner get arrested















battering his wife

 

[Olly]

Q: what's green, slimy and smells of pork?






























A: kermit's fist

 

[puppylover]

A rabbit walks into a bar and says to the barman - "Got any carrots?"
Barman replies "no, we dont sell carrots."
Next evening the rabbit walks into the same bar, to the same barman "Got any carrots"?
Barman replies, "no we dont sell carrots!!"
Following evening the rabbit walks into the bar and asks again "Got any Carrots"
The barman replies "for Fu cks sake - I told you on Monday, I told you on Tuesday and I am telling you again - we dont sell fu cking carrots now if you come in here one more time and ask for carrots I will nail your fu cking ears to the bar!"
Next night rabbit walks into the bar and says "Got any Nails?"
Barman replies, no, rabbit replies, "good, got any carrots?"

 

[puppylover]

A young boy was sitting outside his house crying.
A passing neigbour sees him and says
"Seamus, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
Seamus replies "'Tis a terrible t'ing. Me mam's dying"
"That's awful" the neighbour says " would you like
me to fetch the priest?"
"No thanks", says Seamus, "I'm not in the mood for sex"

 

[Bez]

My Cat (the one thats not lost) ate a ball of wool...........


9 weeks later she had Mittens!!

 

[Jam Man]

A female sky diver cheated death yesterday when her parachute failed to open fully. Hurtling towards the ground, her fall was broken by a large strawberry patch.




What a jammy cnut...

 

[icebaer69]

 

[jjinit]

man goes to the drs and says can you help me I think im a dog?

dr says how long has this been happening?

man says ever since I was a puppy

dr says i need to examine you, get on the couch

man says, im not allowed on the couch

 

[WeLuvIbiza]

some good on here. Considering...dare I send the priest one the my father in-law who is a devoted catholic?

 

[jjinit]

man goes to the drs and says help me, Ive got a cricket ball stuck up my arse

dr says owzat???

 

[icebaer69]

crappiest crap joke of the year:

"...
US President Barack Obama has received the gold Nobel Peace Prize medal
and diploma in a lavish ceremony in Norway ...
In his speech at the award ceremony, Mr Obama said the United States must
uphold moral standards when waging wars that are necessary and justified ...
..."
(http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/12/11/2768395.htm?section=justin)