Best Man's Speech

S

Stu Hirst

Active Member
I'm Best Man at my Brother's wedding in a few months. I've already got some cracking one-liners and funny stories, but wondered if anyone has any other beauties they've used in the past?
 
arghh... my brothers father in law used a cracker, will try and find out for you

i was instructed to steer well clear of anything too embarrasing for bride and groom, luckily managed pretty well (considering i was still putting finishing touches to it at the top table 5 minutes before). even had people in tears, totally shat it but a great experience. i'll ask my brother if he can remember that line.
 
Hi Stu,

Never had the pleasure of being best man myself but a fairly good opening line I heard at a wedding recently when the best man stood up was:

"This is the 2nd time today I've stood up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand"

The line isn't that funny in itself but the reaction around the assembled crowd was quiete good as it took people a while to get it and when they did the young ones laughed at the simple toilet humour whereas the oldies gave the best man a look of disgust for lowering the tone!

Good luck mate:)
 
copperband said:
Hi Stu,

Never had the pleasure of being best man myself but a fairly good opening line I heard at a wedding recently when the best man stood up was:

"This is the 2nd time today I've stood up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand"

The line isn't that funny in itself but the reaction around the assembled crowd was quiete good as it took people a while to get it and when they did the young ones laughed at the simple toilet humour whereas the oldies gave the best man a look of disgust for lowering the tone!

Good luck mate:)
Click to expand...

aha!!!

thats the one! maybe its doing the rounds at the minute :?
 
Stand up and say

'Fornication.....'(gets the attention) then look closely at the paper and say...

'....sorry, 'for an occasion' like this...':lol:
 
My brother and his wife dated on and off for 13 years before they finally got married, so I spent the first part of my best man speech trying to find anything (wars, other major world events) that took 13 years to finish.

(it was funnier than it sounds.... honest! well, at least the crowd was laughing... perhaps politely? :lol:)
 
I must admit, I read loads of books on the subject for when I was BM to my brother, I can't stand the generic one-liners!

I can see them coming a mile off (but as I said, that's only becuase I've seen them in loads of 'example' speeches. Normal folk of course won't).

If you want I can post you some general tips, though am always a bit reserved about talking about my experiences as I will just go on and on and on about it!
 
I'm best man to my dad in April and it's proving very difficult to write a speech as I really don't know that many stories about him to be honest...

:? :? :?

I guess I'll just have to make a generic speech, and since it's in puerto rico and an american style wedding I'm not even sure if one liners are going to go down well at all either :?
 
Turn to the groom, put your hand on his shoulder and say 'Mate, marraige is all about honour.... you get on-her and you stay on-her'
 
Opening line of moine at my Bro's....., well almost opening!!

I never thought that Tony would ever find a girl he had anything in common with, bearing in mind his love of drink & girls, I was surprised when he took up with an Alcoholic Lesbian......!! The room fell apart, old & young!!

Worst day of my life though, well ish, really didn't enjoy the lead up to the Speech though!!

Good luck man!!
 
My other halfs best man wrote a poem, it was very very funny and he must have put weeks of effort into it.
 
for my grooms speech i just recalled our (diastrous) first date, that gave me plenty of material and I just threw in some nice stuff about the wife at the end....which I obviously meant and it went down a treat. Humour, sentimentality and sincerity in equal measures!!! :D
 
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