Annual XMAS story from Baghdad

And my message from Baghdad is,


Really, it's just Blah.

After three years of this place, enough is enough already. My version of the Night before Christmas has changed. Perhaps it is a bit more cynical this year but who's to say we need to stop a tradition:

Christmas: Baghdad Style Bitches!

T’was the night before Christmas and all though Iraq,
There's freedom ringing from our broken backs .
The feeling back home is that most do not care,
And were still over here wishing to be over there.

The Iraqi's are all just so smug in their beds,
with visions of us leaving dancing in their heads.
Iranians too are this Christmas with glee,
they know that Iraq will be soon their country.

I was just settling down in my 2 by 5 bed,
When the incoming siren cleared out my head.
I rolled on the floor, the linoleum cold,
Nights in the bunker just never gets old.

The wind was just right and the bunker seemed hotter,
due to the upwind giant tank of black water.
It must be the fumes as I rubbed both my eyes,
In the sky was a sleigh with some skinny guy.

He had quite a team that was pulling his sleigh,
with elephants and donkeys leading the way.
Their pencils were sharpened as they came to bare,
with clipboards and pink slips they sure didn't care.

On Clinton, On Bair, On Voker, and Roemer!
On Hagel, On Gates, On Duncan and Holder!
From the crossed swords of Baghdad to the rescued Kuwait,
Were leaving you all to your own self help fait.

He said "Your all fired, you who work in Iraq,
finding work is not hard, here's a shovel, what’s next?"
I stood there and hated, this Christmas Grinch,
Sure we shouldn't be here but were here and cant flinch.

This skinny silly Santa knows not of the world,
Its mostly for fires when our flag is unfurled.
He's ordering now for us all to get out,
the boys that have died here, from their graves we hear shouts.

As his sleigh took back off, I could hear him shout with glee,
"I know best, look at my Harvard degree!"
The alert being over, the excitement finished,
I was thinking of all the sacrifices diminished.

How can this Santa just turn yellow and flee?
It's Christmas eve, I'm in Iraq, I'll soon be unemployed, and the economy sucks...nothing rhymes with fail and that’s the reality.

Merry Christmas


But seriously folks...Merry voted for him. You live with it. I’m staying in Iraq where it’s safe!
Didn't really understand most of that except the turning round and ignoring the sacrifices bit, which I agree with wholeheartedly.

When it's on, you don't pop your **** and run.
Stand firm until the whole thing is done,
or else they'll have a slim chance of seeing tomorrow's sun.