weirdest, stupid, shamefull, funny ...first dates

[mikkak]

took the idea from the weekend Rundowns:
mine taken fron the weekend thread:

Originally Posted by mikkak
years a go a had a date with a boy, it was the first one and the last one with him, didn't know him much, he told me we could meet in a very nice bar in the Paseo Marítimo, it was winter and I was with my overcoat, so when I arrived instead of seating inside he was outside in the terraza, next to the boats, I told him: are we seating here? and he said: well, don't you like it. So instead of saying to him I am freezing cold it's december I sat down, about 2 hours talking on our own, with the chairs next to us moving because of the wind, the boats moving and doing a lot of noise because of the water and the wind, the awning moving, the waitter lokking at us like if we were stupid, but he acted like normal, definitly I think he didn't want anybody to see me with him

and after:

, this stupid boy din't stop talking about what he expected about a girlfriend and inquiring all the time if I was like that or the other way but what maked me more angry is that I bough a very nice and fancy top but I had to wear the bloody coat all the time!!!! I could have gone with my pyjamas

what aboout you????

 

[Robder]

I know of two stories - unfortunately not mine...I wish they were for the " " value:

My friend met an older man and everything was going great till they got back to his and the guy emerged in a teachers hat and gown & asked him to put a school uniform on and 'do' him whilst holding a cane.

...and another similar story, a date that was going fine until the guy started calling him son and asked him if he wanted a daddy to ___. - apparently this is widespread lingo? Can someone explain why?

 

[jjinit]

years ago....on my first date with the girl who turned out to be my 1st real girlf friend, we were parked close to her house having a bit of "in car petting" when I started to get these bad stomach cramps, I was in agony so I decided to try and walk them off. I got out of the car and walked towards a canal towpath that I was parked near to, no sooner was I out of site the pain got lot's worse and I was almost doubled over in agony...then I realised to my horror I needed to "make toilet" so i dropped my kecks and did a massive pooh into a bush and then had to wipe my arse on a big leaf............ as soon as i did this the girl popped her head over the bush to see what I was doing and caught me crouching over a pile of steamy poo poo rather red faced cant have been so bad we went out for 3 years after that

 

[zarbtron]

years ago....on my first date with the girl who turned out to be my 1st real girlf friend, we were parked close to her house having a bit of "in car petting" when I started to get these bad stomach cramps, I was in agony so I decided to try and walk them off. I got out of the car and walked towards a canal towpath that I was parked near to, no sooner was I out of site the pain got lot's worse and I was almost doubled over in agony...then I realised to my horror I needed to "make toilet" so i dropped my kecks and did a massive pooh into a bush and then had to wipe my arse on a big leaf............ as soon as i did this the girl popped her head over the bush to see what I was doing and caught me crouching over a pile of steamy poo poo rather red faced cant have been so bad we went out for 3 years after that

absolutely hilarious


I've smoked 20 fags on a date once, that was quite bad, in about 2 hours I was just nervous!

and I've fallen off my chair when I managed to get far drunker than my date (not helped by having a bit of 'dutch courage' before I left the house )

I also got set up on a blind date for charity once a few years ago, which I thought went ok, I didn't fancy the bloke but we seemed to have a fairly enjoyable 2 or 3 hours in the pub. I later got feedback from my friend that organised the blind date event that this guy thought I was absolutely horrific and he wanted his charity money back - which is why now I find dating so traumatising now (I was 18 at the time so probably actually a bit of a dick - going through that 'king of the world' thingy you get when you start uni and have just left home)

 

[zarbtron]

absolutely hilarious


I've smoked 20 fags on a date once, that was quite bad, in about 2 hours I was just nervous!

and I've fallen off my chair when I managed to get far drunker than my date (not helped by having a bit of 'dutch courage' before I left the house )

I also got set up on a blind date for charity once a few years ago, which I thought went ok, I didn't fancy the bloke but we seemed to have a fairly enjoyable 2 or 3 hours in the pub. I later got feedback from my friend that organised the blind date event that this guy thought I was absolutely horrific and he wanted his charity money back - which is why now I find dating so traumatising now (I was 18 at the time so probably actually a bit of a dick - going through that 'king of the world' thingy you get when you start uni and have just left home)

basically, I'm terrible at dating and I really don't come across very well - I can never be myself with someone until I know them quite well god, I need therapy

 

[jjinit]

I gathered that

 

[Robder]

years ago....on my first date with the girl who turned out to be my 1st real girlf friend, we were parked close to her house having a bit of "in car petting" when I started to get these bad stomach cramps, I was in agony so I decided to try and walk them off. I got out of the car and walked towards a canal towpath that I was parked near to, no sooner was I out of site the pain got lot's worse and I was almost doubled over in agony...then I realised to my horror I needed to "make toilet" so i dropped my kecks and did a massive pooh into a bush and then had to wipe my arse on a big leaf............ as soon as i did this the girl popped her head over the bush to see what I was doing and caught me crouching over a pile of steamy poo poo rather red faced cant have been so bad we went out for 3 years after that

That's so bad yet so funny - but I don't want to laugh at you! I feel your pain!

 

[wimpers]

Some of you scare me

 

[zarbtron]

I gathered that

yeah I don't know why I put an explanation

 

[utagaura]

i think this one is funny..

i went on a 'date' with a guy once... it was a pretty boring date in the aftenoon at a coffee shop. he was asking me lame questions like how many siblings do i have bla bla

then, nearing the end of the 'date' he said, ...' oh i brought you a present"
I thought... oh no... present!

So he pulled out a brown paper bag out of his back pack... and brought out a new, shiny, blue and silver vibrator! i didn't quite know what to say, so i said.. " do you have batteries with that?"... and he did!.. so i said thanks, i'm going home now... but i didn't have a bag to put them in, ... it was a hot sunny day, so i only had my small purse on me.

i didn't live far from the coffee shop, but as i had no place to put my presents i had to march home, in a busy area with batteries in one hand and a vibrator in the other...

must have looked like i was on a mission!

 

[Robder]

must have looked like i was on a mission!

class.

 

[Sirens]

i think this one is funny..

i went on a 'date' with a guy once... it was a pretty boring date in the aftenoon at a coffee shop. he was asking me lame questions like how many siblings do i have bla bla

then, nearing the end of the 'date' he said, ...' oh i brought you a present"
I thought... oh no... present!

So he pulled out a brown paper bag out of his back pack... and brought out a new, shiny, blue and silver vibrator! i didn't quite know what to say, so i said.. " do you have batteries with that?"... and he did!.. so i said thanks, i'm going home now... but i didn't have a bag to put them in, ... it was a hot sunny day, so i only had my small purse on me.

i didn't live far from the coffee shop, but as i had no place to put my presents i had to march home, in a busy area with batteries in one hand and a vibrator in the other...

must have looked like i was on a mission!

Was this a first date? Infact any date, this would appear

 

[Morbyd]

So he pulled out a brown paper bag out of his back pack... and brought out a new, shiny, blue and silver vibrator! i didn't quite know what to say, so i said.. " do you have batteries with that?"... and he did!..

So.... who got the 2nd date? The guy, or the gift?

 

[utagaura]

yes this was the first and only date with him.........................

 

[Beckiboo]

No first dates as such... but in my teens once I went out with the gang I usually hung around with. There was a guy there who was a few years older who all the girls fancied! I used to look quite old and got served alcohol in shops (I was about 14) so I bought myself a bottle of vodka and a can of coke and proceeded to get really drunk to try and impress this boy. Anyway it worked because I got a nice snog off him but by then I was so drunk that I had to interrupt him mid-snog to throw up on his shoes! The shame!!! He was quite nice about it bless him but I never did go out with him again

 

[Jam Man]

Went on a first date with a girl and on the way home decided it would be great fun to swerve into all the puddles in the road. It had been raining hard and so the water was splashing up over the windscreen. (Ford Capri )

Anyway, I got back to her house and pulled up outside. I switched off the car and we had a little 'goodnight kiss'. She got out and walked round to my side of the car towards the house and I turned the key in the ignition but the dam thing was not starting no matter how many times I tried....

As her house was on a slight hill that I was facing down I jumped out to give the car a push with the hope of bump starting it down the hill. Sadly I had been holding in a fair few farts all night and the intitial strain of moving the car made me let go a comedy paaaaaaaaaaaarp!

I was so embarrased that once the car was moving, I jumped in, dropped the clutch and bunny hopped the car for a few yards before chugging away...

 

[LagunaBeachCA]

Am I allowed to say Spotlight Gold to this thread?