Uk Customs
- Thread starter Hywel
- Start date
kimajy
Well-Known Member
Sounds like you have "I'm a dodgy geezer" written all over your body language - probably because by anticipating getting stopped you end up bringing it about by acting strangely (albeit subconsciously). I am assuming you have no reason to be worried about it, just the hasstle and delay 
I often come through customs alone and rarely get stopped (only in the US which I avoid like the plague - just don't need the aggro of the place in transit).
Top tips :
1) Don't fly into UK and go through customs in either shorts or sunglasses
2) Pee on the plane or wait - don't get caught out and rush to the loo in the customs hall because you couldn't face the queue
3) Don't be in a rush to get through and use the blue channel wherever possible rather than the green one when you're coming in from the EU with green tags on your baggage label
4) Be courteous around fellow travellers and give way obviously to mums with pushchairs around the exit
Better luck next time !
I often come through customs alone and rarely get stopped (only in the US which I avoid like the plague - just don't need the aggro of the place in transit).
Top tips :
1) Don't fly into UK and go through customs in either shorts or sunglasses
2) Pee on the plane or wait - don't get caught out and rush to the loo in the customs hall because you couldn't face the queue
3) Don't be in a rush to get through and use the blue channel wherever possible rather than the green one when you're coming in from the EU with green tags on your baggage label
4) Be courteous around fellow travellers and give way obviously to mums with pushchairs around the exit
Better luck next time !
If I didn't have an additional journey to make on the train, I wouldn't mind being held up. It's quite entertaining in that small room, when there's a few of us, mainly blokes, getting bags swabbed. Some reactions I've overheard are priceless, especially from ones who test positive for drug residue.
faces
ric
Well-Known Member
i've been stopped the last 2 times i've been coming back from cycling in ibiza... both times where almost exactly 1yr apart and it was the same guy who stopped me on both occasions....
the first time i had to say what i was doing, where i was coming from, what i was doing there, where i stayed, my occupation, address, name, dob, whether i was travelling with anyone etc etc.... i decided to show him the photos on my phone from cycling because i was fed up with the barrage of questions and then proceeded to take the piss out of him by saying it had been 21 degrees for the entire holiday while he was stuck at home in the rain.... that didn't go down to well....
the 2nd time he just looked at me, asked me where i was coming from and said "fair enough"...
the first time i had to say what i was doing, where i was coming from, what i was doing there, where i stayed, my occupation, address, name, dob, whether i was travelling with anyone etc etc.... i decided to show him the photos on my phone from cycling because i was fed up with the barrage of questions and then proceeded to take the piss out of him by saying it had been 21 degrees for the entire holiday while he was stuck at home in the rain.... that didn't go down to well....
the 2nd time he just looked at me, asked me where i was coming from and said "fair enough"...
Had all those questions, even had to describe where my hotel was last year, down to the proximity of the football pitch.
Last year's pissed me off the most, the customs guy stopped me and said "Can you come in here seeing as you've something to declare", I said "I haven't got anything to declare"... "Well you went down the something to declare passage" he said, and I looked up and the sign I'd followed in big letters along with every other passenger ..."Nothing to declare"
. Wish they'd just be honest and say you look dodgy, I wanna check your bags...
Last year's pissed me off the most, the customs guy stopped me and said "Can you come in here seeing as you've something to declare", I said "I haven't got anything to declare"... "Well you went down the something to declare passage" he said, and I looked up and the sign I'd followed in big letters along with every other passenger ..."Nothing to declare"
. Wish they'd just be honest and say you look dodgy, I wanna check your bags...
Morbyd
Moderator
Oooh. *raises hand*
My favorite UK Customs story:
Several years ago, I was arriving in London from Moscow with a large group of football fans on the way to a match. Some of them had brought 2 cases of vodka along. Special edition stuff. Good vodka (I've still got a case from that same batch, saving for a special occasion!).
So, one of them is wheeling the cases on a baggage cart and starts to go through the green corridor. I look back, realize this is happening, and start quietly freaking out. I tell them to stop. I'm thinking - this is surely above the bottle limit for the 4-5 of us standing there... who else from the flight can we grab and have claim part-ownership? And how screwed were we since they were already halfway through the green channel with two obvious boxes of contraband? (I think there was even branding on the side!)
One of the Customs guys walks up... I'm thinking this is it, We're all screwed. On top of the boxes was a small stack of football fanzines. He can't understand us as we're conversing in Russian, but he figures out what's going on. He picks up one of the fanzines and says...
"Ah, don't worry. I don't care about your [boxes of] magazines. Carry on through."
Much scolding of my mates, followed by much laughter followed
My favorite UK Customs story:
Several years ago, I was arriving in London from Moscow with a large group of football fans on the way to a match. Some of them had brought 2 cases of vodka along. Special edition stuff. Good vodka (I've still got a case from that same batch, saving for a special occasion!).
So, one of them is wheeling the cases on a baggage cart and starts to go through the green corridor. I look back, realize this is happening, and start quietly freaking out. I tell them to stop. I'm thinking - this is surely above the bottle limit for the 4-5 of us standing there... who else from the flight can we grab and have claim part-ownership? And how screwed were we since they were already halfway through the green channel with two obvious boxes of contraband? (I think there was even branding on the side!)
One of the Customs guys walks up... I'm thinking this is it, We're all screwed. On top of the boxes was a small stack of football fanzines. He can't understand us as we're conversing in Russian, but he figures out what's going on. He picks up one of the fanzines and says...
"Ah, don't worry. I don't care about your [boxes of] magazines. Carry on through."
Much scolding of my mates, followed by much laughter followed