Train life.....

Emma_1983

Emma_1983

Active Member
There is a common phrase for our late trains home from London being renamed as the vomit comit. Anything after 11 and you are asking for trouble.

Anyway I got the 9pm train home Weds night after having dinner after work. I dont really class this as being a "late" train so to speak.

2 guys get on - guy no 1 can barely stand up, at first I thought there was something severely wrong with him but then I soon realised he was just completely paraletic, he couldnt walk or talk. Guy no 2 announced to the rest of the carriage to "make sure he gets off at Basildon, kick him if you have to" and then paraletic guy no 1 standing up on our train probably with no clue as to where he was.

As you can imagine nobody wanted to go near him. Anyway about half way through the journey there was this trickling sound......nobody knew what to think, we all looked at each other sheepishly thinking surely not......turns out he was going for a pi55 on the train in full view of everyone!! Is this completely disgusting or what? Or am I being naive to the states people get themselves in through drink?

Last night - slightly later train........a man and his wife get on...he is having some kind of argument with himself and she sits down sheepishly. He then proceeded to vomit all the way home - at one point it smelt of vomit and s**t - I mean does anyone else witness this kind of thing on the train home?

I guess you just notice it more when you are sober......dreading the late train home after my xmas party next week :?:lol:
 
Only the ones out of Liverpool St ;)

Seen some sights in my time, probably been some sights in my time too :oops::lol:

The look on peoples faces that get onto a vomited carriage and see all the empty seats thinking all their Christmasses have come at once as they've got all those free seats to themselves...Before the doors open and it hits them :oops::eek::lol:
 
Mine are from Fenchurch St, goes the same kind of area as Liverpool St ones :lol:

I just couldnt believe the bloke pi**ing.....how drunk must you be to do that and not even realise where you are?

Dont get me wrong I have been in some states myself (have even been sick on a train:oops:) but these 2 incidents were BAD!!
 
Sorry, no idea why, but this song just came into my head...

The W4nker's Song
Written & Sung by Ivor Biggun




My mother said that I never should
play with the naughty, rude girls in the wood.
Their giggling talk I could never understand,
and that's why I fell in love with my right hand.
And that's why...
I'm a ****er, I'm a ****er.
and it does me good like it bloody well should.
I'm a ****er, I'm a ****er
and I'm always pulling my pud'.
​
I was twenty-five years old before I was kissed,
and then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wrist.
It's cheap and convenient, you can't catch VD.
It's available at any time and it's absolutely free.
And that's why...
I'm a ****er, I'm a ****er.
and it does me good like it bloody well should.
I'm a ****er, I'm a ****er
and I'm always pulling my pud'.
​
Oh, Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters,
thank you for having me and being oh, so kind.
I've got pains in my arms and my dong is growing shorter,
My knees have turned to water, and I think I'm going blind.
I've ****ed over Italy, I've ****ed over Spain.
I've ****ed in an omnibus, I've even had a **** on a train.
I've used a badger and a melon and a cat,
an inflatable Linda Lovelace, and a Davy Crockett hat.
And that's why...
I'm a ****er, I'm a ****er.
and it does me good like it bloody well should.
I'm a ****er, I'm a ****er
and I'm always pulling my pud'.
​
Oh, Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters,
Thank you for having me and being oh, so kind.
I've got pains in my arms and my dong is getting shorter,
My knees have turned to water, and I think I'm going blind.
I'm a ****er, I'm a ****er.
and it does me good like it bloody well should.
I'm a ****er, I'm a ****er
and I'm always pulling my pud'.
I'm a ****er, I'm a ****er.
and it does me good like it bloody well should.
I'm a ****er, I'm a ****er
and I'm always pulling my pud'.
He's a ****er, he's a ****er.
and it does me good like it bloody well should.
He's a ****er, He's a ****er
and I'm always pulling my pud'.
​
 
Last edited by a moderator:
if you want to rub shoulders with the drunk, the vomitous, the randy, the raucous, the broken-hearted, the leery, the bored, the tired, late shift workers, the monged, the lost and the deranged then catch the N21 from London Bridge to Lewisham at any time between 11pm-4am at the weekend. A veritable exercise in stamina and endurance...
 
He used to feature on "That's Life" with Esther Rantzen.

(Roy Chubby Brown wants the jacket back...)

71314.jpeg
 
Iv witnessed the odd pisser in my time.

But I would say even worse than a pisser on the way home, is a pisser early evening on the way INTO London Waterloo. Dirty little Chavs!
 
Ha... and I thought my city was bad! Try riding the trains anytime in Chicago. You may have the pleasure of actually sitting in piss. You'll also have the pleasure of all manner of smelly men and women asking you for .23 cents. If you give them more than that, they'll curse you out. Since Mayor Daley has decided to gentrify our fair city, the asylums have been shut down to make way for condos, so we have all manner of crazy people walking around and enjoying moonshine on trains.

I'm surprised no one approached him for pissing on the train. Too many cowboys in hicago. There would've been a fight in no time. :rolleyes:

Emma_1983 said:
Mine are from Fenchurch St, goes the same kind of area as Liverpool St ones :lol:

I just couldnt believe the bloke pi**ing.....how drunk must you be to do that and not even realise where you are?

Dont get me wrong I have been in some states myself (have even been sick on a train:oops:) but these 2 incidents were BAD!!
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