Product Recall!

jez71

Active Member
from an email from a m8 of mine who is a Chelsea fan...


Trading Standard Officers have ordered the urgent recall of a defective product found to be faulty and dangerous.
Over the Christmas and New Year period, tests proved the components in the product called "Chelsea FC" would fall apart when placed under the smallest amount of pressure. Consumers first experienced problems last year, when it was noted the product failed to work properly in Europe.

Complaints were made about it malfunctioning and then emitting a continuous whining noise, usually in Portuguese. At the time the complaints were ignored. But when the product started falling apart in Britain over Christmas, the Trading Standards Authority took action.
A spokesman warned: "We particularly want to stress to parents that, with Chelsea FC, there is a genuine risk of choking that may end in tears come May.
Despite assurances from the company behind the product that action was taken to correct the faulty parts, including abandoning the use of the highly unpredictable and sub-standard component "roberthuth" malfunctions have continued. Consumers have been urged to check the small print carefully for the words "this product may contain traces of Shevchenko".
If that is the case buyers of the product are urged to put it back in its box and return immediately. "Shevchenko" has been known to cause a severe allergic reaction in many consumers, causing them to shout involuntarily "You useless Ukrainian t**t and "For f*** sake bring back Carlton Cole.
 
ha ha ha :roll:

ya, winning 4-0 last weekend is certainly "falling apart" :lol: The team hasn't lost a match in nearly 2 months (and that was at Werder when they were already through the CL group stage)

But hey... the newspapers say there's big trouble, so it must be true!

... and Carlton Cole?! :lol:
 
ha ha ha :roll:

ya, winning 4-0 last weekend is certainly "falling apart" :lol: The team hasn't lost a match in nearly 2 months (and that was at Werder when they were already through the CL group stage)

But hey... the newspapers say there's big trouble, so it must be true!

... and Carlton Cole?! :lol:

I think it may of been a little tongue in cheek;) he's not normally known for his modesty!
 
Ah... got it... missed your intro line earlier :lol:

I just laugh at the press nowadays, with all this supposed Mourinho meltdown. So much of what's written is b.s. and hyperbole... and they can't seem to get enough of running on about the story! I'm so bored of reading about it all!
 
Ah... got it... missed your intro line earlier :lol:

I just laugh at the press nowadays, with all this supposed Mourinho meltdown. So much of what's written is b.s. and hyperbole... and they can't seem to get enough of running on about the story! I'm so bored of reading about it all!


And me, I'm a Liverpool fan so really got a conflict of interest this weekend with not wanting the sc*m (aka man u) to win the title:?
 
A stunning Ukrainian woman bumps into the entire Chelsea football squad in a night club. She approaches John Terry and asks for his autograph. "No problem" he says, so she duly flops out her left breast, which he signs. Next she asks Drogba for the same. She flops out her right breast and he signs it. Finally she asks Mourinho for his autograph, drops her knickers and shows her fanny to him. To which Jose responds "F**k Off! The last time I signed a Ukranian c**t it cost me £30 million quid!"

;)
 
A stunning Ukrainian woman bumps into the entire Chelsea football squad in a night club. She approaches John Terry and asks for his autograph. "No problem" he says, so she duly flops out her left breast, which he signs. Next she asks Drogba for the same. She flops out her right breast and he signs it. Finally she asks Mourinho for his autograph, drops her knickers and shows her fanny to him. To which Jose responds "F**k Off! The last time I signed a Ukranian c**t it cost me £30 million quid!"

;)

Very funny :lol:
 
ha ha ha :roll:

ya, winning 4-0 last weekend is certainly "falling apart" :lol: The team hasn't lost a match in nearly 2 months (and that was at Werder when they were already through the CL group stage)

So much of what's written is b.s. and hyperbole (what?? :lol: an americanism by any chance)


Oh Morbyd you take some this so seriously............face it, Chelsea are looking rather frail as a team right now and although your in with a shout of all 4 competitions I fear the pressure of 'we've spent £330m on players, we must win something' attitude will be your demise this season and you will end up trophyless and managerless come the end of the season.

this weekend is a massive game for your lot this and I think if you lot lose up at Anfield (which I think you will as Liverpool are scroing plenty in there own backyard at the moment and your lot can't defend for toffee without the might of John Terry :lol: ) then you can say good by to at least one of the comps straight away.

bear in mind I am a united fan so apologies if this seems biased :lol: !
 
bear in mind I am a united fan so apologies if this seems biased :lol: !
Exactly :lol:

dw151174 said:
hyperbole (what?? :lol: an americanism by any chance)
Hyperbole: a deliberate exaggeration or overstatement. Hyperbole can be used to heighten effect, to catalyze recognition, or to create a humorous perception.

Last I checked, the language is called English ;)
 
A stunning Ukrainian woman bumps into the entire Chelsea football squad in a night club. She approaches John Terry and asks for his autograph. "No problem" he says, so she duly flops out her left breast, which he signs. Next she asks Drogba for the same. She flops out her right breast and he signs it. Finally she asks Mourinho for his autograph, drops her knickers and shows her fanny to him. To which Jose responds "F**k Off! The last time I signed a Ukranian c**t it cost me £30 million quid!"

;)

:lol::p
 
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