puppylover
Active Member
OK my review…..
As most of you are aware, Mr PL and myself have been a tad down due to the death of our lovely doggie , so its Friday 9th July, I’ve finished work at 1.00pm, the cases are packed were sitting in our living room with faces like a yard of piss, looking at each other going “shall we just cancel the holiday and not go?” I’m like “I don’t want to leave our dog, what if something happens to him while we’re away?”
Monkey our friend turns up to drive us to the airport, our faces still like a yard of piss, he spends 15 mins trying to cheer us up whilst trying not to laugh at us….. He puts on Radio 1 Live from Mambo to get us in the mood – I feel a little bit of a flutter in my tummy, it gives me hope!
The flight was great, up to the point where they start serving drinks and we get an announcement, over the tannoy “Could Stephanie and Philip please make themselves known to the cabin crew” we do, totally red faced thinking “Shit! What’s this about”? crew member “you’re friends of Jools aren’t you? We have a message to give you whatever from the drinks trolley for free!” Mr PL says “its ok, we are driving as soon as we get ” I nudge him in the ribs, “the crew member notices and says “I will put together a bag for you so you can have a drink when you get to your accommodation”
4.00am Sat 10 July
In Arrivals for over an 1 hr and we can’t find the Hiper Car Hire rep, but apparently we can’t miss him, he is head to toe in canary yellow!! We hook up with a group of lads from Glasgow flight – waiting for the same guy, eventually he turns up in his little bus to take us to the Hiper Office (literally a 4 min walk across the road from the airport!!) we get there, wait for paperwork, the car we ordered is not available (a tad miffed at this point, its hot I’m tired and I’ve just been bitten on the ear by a mosquito!) Mr PL intervenes at this point and asks what Hiper will be offering us as a replacement – we get a diesel people carrier, its massive, no extra cost!!
We get to the villa at 5.00am, meet the owner, get keys, the fridge is full of essentials, (plus the big carrier of spirits and bottles of wine from the flight) sorted! Me and Mr PL look at each other, have a glass of wine on the terrace, smile at each other with the unspoken words of “we’re home” ……. Bed
Sat 10 July
Pop to Es Cuco Supermarket (staff still as miserable as last year!!) stock up on essentials, lie round pool. Try to contact our “friend” on the Island to meet up for a “beer” – can’t get a hold of him!, we try all day – nothing, nada, zilch! Call England get another number for him, again, can’t get him…… Mr PL is panicking now… by 7.00pm now I am starting to worry! Contact a mate on the Island to find our friend for this much deserved “beer”, 10 mins later – a phone call back – “Ah – he’s gone on holiday for a fortnight” – how funcking selfish is that!!!!! Mr PL’s roar of horror reverberates throught the hills of Port Des Torrent....
Sun 11 July
Chill by the pool, go for a walk and I meet a long lost friend who’s number I have found for that long awaited “beer” a funcking hell of a lot of €’s lighter we arrive back at the villa in an extremely good mood. The fridge is full, the wine rack is full, the safe is scarily full!
Decide we are not in the right frame of mind for a messy one, we head off into Ibiza town for a meal find a lovely little restaurant in Dalt Villa, La Olive, we have bread and olives to snack, cured ham and melon to start, Mr PL has rack of lamb in Garlic and I have fillet steak in sauce, strawberries & cream for Mr PL for dessert and for myself Chocolate Mousse, a couple of classes of wine for me, a beer for Mr PL and two bottles of water – 65€ how cheap?? A couple of drinks in the usual establishments along the harbour, then drive back to the villa for a couple of cheeky lines and more wine.
Mon 12 July
Its Monday – it must be Roger!!!!! Top the tan up to compliment the gorgeous green top I plan to wear tonight….. overdo it a tad…..Mambo for sunset (still clapping I see!!) I get vouchers for free shots on walk from car, try to give the free shots to a couple of boys sitting on the sand watching the sunset… I think my red tan and my very green top coupled with my big eyes scares them, they decline, but leave us their seats – brilliant! For some reason Mambo have decided to cordon off the DJ area at the side of the bar and tables in front of the DJ for Mr S’s warm up, not impressed with that – its like a cattle market you can’t get moved. Have a bit of shape throwing, difficult with 6 square inches of space to move in, give up and decide to go to Kanya – my sunset bar for the duration of the holiday, less crowded at all times, nice staff, and really friendly customers. Disaster strikes! Walking back over the wasteland towards Mambo, in my euphoric state, I only twist my bad ankle!! We sit down for a bit while my head swims with pain, have a smoke, and attempt to walk to the car… its not good, its gonna be murder on the dancefloor as Ms Ellis-Bextor once said. Mr PL always the helpful chap reckons if I rub Charlie on it, it will go numb and will be ok to go to Pacha!! Looking at the size of my rapidly swelling foot its gonna take half of Columbia to sort this out!! We go home to check out the damage, 6 hours later foot raised, wrapped in a shower cap filled with ice cubes, drink in hand and decided that rubbing Charlie on ankle wasn’t the best idea, but snorting copious amounts of it would be….. I was right! Pain totally gone by 5.00am….
Tue 13 July
I don’t care – we’re going to see Dazza tonight if I have to go on crutches!!!! Waited on hand & foot all day by Mr PL (method in his madness - he’s taking no chances on my injury spoiling tonight’s plans). Pop down to Mambo for warm up with Dazza, had a couple of drinks with him and Mr Gooding and a bit of a chat ….. puts us on his guest list and we are happy. Luckily no cordoned off area in Mambo tonight so get the comfy chairs under the air con behind the DJ booth!
Got to Pacha at 1.00am as I wanted to rest my foot on the roof terrace, had dropped a little un on leaving Mambo, was feeling a little bit floaty lighty, but Mr PL was getting nothing, stayed on the roof bar and was persuaded to have a second……. Basically a double drop as they seemed to both come up together Bah!! We then ended up in fits of uncontrollable laughter, and spent the night watching the strange folk in the VIP, (funny how money does not buy manners, taste or respect!!)
I was convinced Tim Delux and Mutiny were playing also, so was looking forward to that, finds out it was Mutiny and Sister Bliss on arrival, not a big SB fan it has to be said, but to our surprise she had the place rocking!! Mutiny were pretty good, playing a nice tight set, but SB had the place twisted up, by the time Dazza came on at 4.00am the place was manic. Unfortunately at this point ankle was starting to feel the strain. Lasted till 5.30am – taxi back (after popping [hopping more like] into the DJ booth to thank Dazza and give him a big fat snog bye bye! Evil looks off girlies round the DJ booth!
Wed 14 July
Rest foot today. Its impossible to swim in a pool with using only one foot – sent Mr PL out to buy me an inflatable bed for the pool – he came back with a 4’ inflatable Dalmatian, complete with waggy tail, dangly legs and floppy ears - great fun bobbing round the pool, except I had to sit in it put my legs through the holes and I got stuck… no help form Mr PL as he is pissing himself laughing at me – get worried as sure circulation is being cut off mid thigh by the tightness of the leg holes – spill bottle of beer in pool!
Dinner tonight at Curry Club (luckily without inflatable dalmation)– again really cheap meal, 2 bottles of wine, starters, main courses and coffee – 48€. Back to villa – Charlie and Dominoes tonight – kids it’s the new clubbing!!!!!
Thu 15 July
Mr PL has decided its definitely Cream tonight, couldn’t get a hold of our friend to confirm guestlists, but still we decide to go. Off to Bar M for a few cheekies, meet strange circus type performer in the toilets who is doing a bondage/ acrobat show in Bar M, watch them spend 25 mins tying up a man and a woman waiting for the performance, then 25 mins untying them – apparently it’s a dry run for knot practice!! After a lot of MDMA and whisky we decide we might as well take advantage of the free bus to Cream that came with the tickets….. NEVER AGAIN!! I felt like a warder from a young offenders institution on a day out with the inmates – I was in such a foul mood when I got off the coach I needed more pharmaceuticals, trip to the toilet and bob’s your uncle! We go and stand in a quiet place to do the necessary, and bump into a couple who we met last year – this was really bizarre, they always go in August, we always go in August, due to circumstances we both ended up coming in July, and we were both standing in an area of the club we wouldn’t normally stand in – Karma!! Had a cracking night, not down to the music I hasten to add, just through great company and generally messing around. Music was mediocre to say the least, never really got me in a euphoric mood at all, left at 5.30am back to ours, where we realised that more pharmaceuticals were gonna be needed to make it a good 24 hour sess. Called some friends, mission accomplished!! MDMA jelly was the dish of the day!
Fri 16 July
All I really remember is Crazy Golf, Pool and Air Hockey tournament in San An Bay. sleep came at some point later and then food. Not in a state to do anything except read….
Sat 17 July
Shopping needed again!!! A day out driving round the Island, looking for nice little beaches – lovely!! Back at the villa by 7.00pm – off to Kanya for sunset – excellent. A few drinks and I am flagging big style from Thu/Fri 24 hr session, so back to villa, cheeky lines /crosswords/ and played Give Us a Clue with me pretending to be Una Stubbs til 5.00am - how hardcore are we!!! For some reason sleep didn’t come easy – still awake at 9.00am.
Sun 18 July
Supposed to be Space today……cant face it…. So we head off up North to take away temptation from anything really…..Have a fantastic day just what we needed, really romantic and HEALTHY!
Mon 19 July
Play in the pool with Mr PL and the Dalmatian, by this time the Dalmatian has a very droopy leg (I think he has an injury) and his tail has gone very limp! Decide that we must see Roger tonight – ankle is feeling good and we ‘ve now managed to acquire 30 beans, bag of MDMA and a bag of base speed from some people who were flying back home on Sunday and were gonna chuck it – rather than that they gave it to us for free. At this point I have decided I do not want any more things again and we will give it all away or bin it! Pop along to Kanya for sunset, walk to Mambo (Mr PL is taking no chances and makes us walk the long way round on the road this time not across the wasteland) Again Mr S has his cordoned off area so we move onto the terrace bit to watch the grungy fire people, danced my ass off, and the best bit of the night was watching a woman (probs about 55+) imagine your mum in “mum type” clothes, curly grey/blonde perm, glasses on a chain round her neck, nice Indian print blouse and skirt combo – giving it loads, she was having a ball!!! - if she hadn’t had a cheeky one, I would have been surprised!!! She was smiling with everyone, the dancers on the raised bit were not impressed that she was getting more attention than they were! Who ever she was, she was my hero of the holiday, I got a bit emotional and teary and said to Mr PL “Do you think that will be me in 15 years time babe?” He looked at me in horror and said “You’re not having any more drugs this holiday if you are going to talk like that!” Got to Pacha for Sanchez, he was fantastic – my only disappointment of the night was that the woman from Mambo hadn’t turned up – I wanted to go and talk to her and maybe discuss adopting her, or at the very least invite her back for a carry on! (BTW – had dipped into the freebie bag by now)
Tue 20 July
Calla Conte Beach all day, hired jet ski’s – which were great – never been on one before and to be honest my hand/eye co-ordination was pretty much impaired by this point, so was bricking it before I got started. …. Today I have the hunger of a small third world country – go to a lovely restaurant on the beach (didn’t get its name tho sorry!!) had Calamari, Salad, Garlic Mayonnaise and crusty bread, followed by 2 fresh smoothies. Didn’t dare go in the water again for fear of sinking, spent the rest of the day sunbathing, and reading.
Still hungry later , so off to Kasbah for a meal and a sunset….. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised the food was really good indeed. If you like sitting around DJ’s and their entourages – then go to Kasbah. Mr PL reckons he had the best burger ever whilst I opted for the Tuna Fishcakes with a warm spicy chilli dipping sauce and salad. Food was really nice and well presented, service was great, but I wonder if that was because we were on the next table to the Cheesemeister himself, Tall Paul and families. (downside was that they ran out of Sol and Coronita and I had to settle for Miller lite - blurgh).
Decide that as it was our last Tue it would be rude not to venture along to Mambo, and then sort guesties to Dazza again. We walked over the wasteland (ankle injury was long forgotten by this juncture in the holiday), lost a large bag of Charlie, stumbled down to Mambo and borrowed a torch from the bar (told them I had lost my car keys) left Mr PL standing in the vicinity of the lost bag, 10 mins searching and found it!!!!! Felt a bit mean at one point when a bunch of lads stopped to help us look for “keys” and I was like – no thanks lads honest its fine – no help needed – move along now…
Wed 21 July
The day I have feared most, our friends are pitching up for a 5 day bender. Have decided they can have the rest of the freebies, I am sticking to Charles for the rest of the holiday. Luckily we find out they aren’t arriving until 11.30pm so we breathe a sigh of relief and have a day /night of rest! We head off again to Ibiza Town for pre-meal drinks to K-ube - Khumaras has nothing on this place for slow service!!! This place should have an award for it.
It was pretty empty when we got there at about 10.00pm, I was avoiding alcohol at this point, was suffering from a massive headache and generally feeling like a wrung out dishrag, so decided to go for a power smoothie, strawberries, pineapple, kiwifruit and melon, Mr PL, opted for fresh orange smoothie – 25 mins later we get served, the worst part of it was we were desperate to get a drink just to get painkillers down our necks so we could eat……Forgot to say, Previous to K-ube Bar we had spent 15 mins in a chemist in Ibiza Town buying painkillers, standing in front of us were the smelliest bunch of kids ever, I nearly fell over in my haste to move away from them in the chemists when I saw what I think was the biggest head lice (louse?) ever crawling/jumping through the back of her hair on to her kid’s hair who she was holding in her arms – worst experience of the holiday!
Surprisingly, I had lost my appetite after that experience and kept feeling all itchy in K-ube, but Mr PL said we must eat. We ended up in a little restaurant on the front of the harbour- La Formentera – tip- eat inside its air conditioned and you can’t smell the harbour at all! Lovely little restaurant, again priced really reasonably, Mr PL had homemade veg soup and lemon chicken, I still feeling a bit creeped out by the lice episode, could only manage the lightest thing on the menu – Mussels – how gorgeous??? Cooked perfectly with a light white wine, tomato basil and garlic sauce…. Mmmmmmm. Couple of coffees to follow and only 45€ . We wandered back up to Base and Rock Bars for another drink and then off home for some zzzzzzz’s.
Thu 22 July
The boys have arrived!! Andy is playing at Bora Bora at 4.00pm – 8.00pm so we get all the bits and bobs together for them, get down there for 6.00pmish, its just right, not too full and not too empty, Andy and the boys are in top form, except Andy isn’t playing till 8.00pm – lying git!!! Anyway messiness in full flow at the time Andy hits the decks, and its been free drinks all afternoon courtesy of Gee Moore (has Mr Moore had botox – lovely fella but his forehead doesn’t move when he’s talking) anyway offload the freebieswhich now consist of 25 little uns half a bag of MDMA and a rather large bag of base speed to the boys they seem happy yet so scared! Great day in the sunshine, dancind drinking snorting…….. spent about 2 hrs trying to get a photo of a plane flying over my head whilst lying on a table – I mean how often do they fly over, and how did I not manage to spot one!!! Just unlucky I guess……..
The boys were going for a meal after Andy finished on the decks so we left them to their messiness at about 11.00pm as Mr PL was driving and we needed to pack for our last day the next day….
Fri 23 July
Last day of sunshine – lie around all day, tidy up the villa for any evidence of the 2 weeks….. Go for one last sunset at Kanya, (its bloody cloudy!) have a meal, Spare Ribs and Indonesian chicken for starters and Spag Bol for Mr PL and Chicken Fajitas for myself, a couple of drinks each - €50. slowly and sadly walk back to the car. We leave the villa at 11.00pm as I have told Mr PL we fly at 2.00am – he looks at the tickets and informs me its actually 3.30am and we have loads of time to kill, we park up at Bar M to meet the lads for one last drink before the airport – can’t find them but we have a drink anyway……
Duty free shopping takes over from depression. Sat in the airport watching Scarface, my favourite scene comes on and I am gagged for a cheeky line….. my phone then rings its my mate “Are you coming to Bar M then for drinks”? “ errrr would love to mate but about to board my flight in about an hour”, “bollocks – it all went a bit wrong after you guys left Bora Bora yesterday, that’s why we’re a bit late like for Bar M, we did all that stuff in you left (between 3 people) and I ended up at Space this morning, and then it all went a bit wrong – I woke up about 11.00am this morning on the sitting room floor, naked on all fours with twigs sticking out me arse”…..
A perfect end to a perfect holiday…
In all, I reckon this year in Ibiza was the best for randomness, plans going out the window, meeting up with people again, finding things fun which you would normally not even entertain back home, everything we did was spot on, really nothing disappointing, as they say Ibiza is what you make it, and considering the frame of mind we were in when we left – we did pretty damn well…….. roll on September
As most of you are aware, Mr PL and myself have been a tad down due to the death of our lovely doggie , so its Friday 9th July, I’ve finished work at 1.00pm, the cases are packed were sitting in our living room with faces like a yard of piss, looking at each other going “shall we just cancel the holiday and not go?” I’m like “I don’t want to leave our dog, what if something happens to him while we’re away?”
Monkey our friend turns up to drive us to the airport, our faces still like a yard of piss, he spends 15 mins trying to cheer us up whilst trying not to laugh at us….. He puts on Radio 1 Live from Mambo to get us in the mood – I feel a little bit of a flutter in my tummy, it gives me hope!
The flight was great, up to the point where they start serving drinks and we get an announcement, over the tannoy “Could Stephanie and Philip please make themselves known to the cabin crew” we do, totally red faced thinking “Shit! What’s this about”? crew member “you’re friends of Jools aren’t you? We have a message to give you whatever from the drinks trolley for free!” Mr PL says “its ok, we are driving as soon as we get ” I nudge him in the ribs, “the crew member notices and says “I will put together a bag for you so you can have a drink when you get to your accommodation”
4.00am Sat 10 July
In Arrivals for over an 1 hr and we can’t find the Hiper Car Hire rep, but apparently we can’t miss him, he is head to toe in canary yellow!! We hook up with a group of lads from Glasgow flight – waiting for the same guy, eventually he turns up in his little bus to take us to the Hiper Office (literally a 4 min walk across the road from the airport!!) we get there, wait for paperwork, the car we ordered is not available (a tad miffed at this point, its hot I’m tired and I’ve just been bitten on the ear by a mosquito!) Mr PL intervenes at this point and asks what Hiper will be offering us as a replacement – we get a diesel people carrier, its massive, no extra cost!!
We get to the villa at 5.00am, meet the owner, get keys, the fridge is full of essentials, (plus the big carrier of spirits and bottles of wine from the flight) sorted! Me and Mr PL look at each other, have a glass of wine on the terrace, smile at each other with the unspoken words of “we’re home” ……. Bed
Sat 10 July
Pop to Es Cuco Supermarket (staff still as miserable as last year!!) stock up on essentials, lie round pool. Try to contact our “friend” on the Island to meet up for a “beer” – can’t get a hold of him!, we try all day – nothing, nada, zilch! Call England get another number for him, again, can’t get him…… Mr PL is panicking now… by 7.00pm now I am starting to worry! Contact a mate on the Island to find our friend for this much deserved “beer”, 10 mins later – a phone call back – “Ah – he’s gone on holiday for a fortnight” – how funcking selfish is that!!!!! Mr PL’s roar of horror reverberates throught the hills of Port Des Torrent....
Sun 11 July
Chill by the pool, go for a walk and I meet a long lost friend who’s number I have found for that long awaited “beer” a funcking hell of a lot of €’s lighter we arrive back at the villa in an extremely good mood. The fridge is full, the wine rack is full, the safe is scarily full!
Decide we are not in the right frame of mind for a messy one, we head off into Ibiza town for a meal find a lovely little restaurant in Dalt Villa, La Olive, we have bread and olives to snack, cured ham and melon to start, Mr PL has rack of lamb in Garlic and I have fillet steak in sauce, strawberries & cream for Mr PL for dessert and for myself Chocolate Mousse, a couple of classes of wine for me, a beer for Mr PL and two bottles of water – 65€ how cheap?? A couple of drinks in the usual establishments along the harbour, then drive back to the villa for a couple of cheeky lines and more wine.
Mon 12 July
Its Monday – it must be Roger!!!!! Top the tan up to compliment the gorgeous green top I plan to wear tonight….. overdo it a tad…..Mambo for sunset (still clapping I see!!) I get vouchers for free shots on walk from car, try to give the free shots to a couple of boys sitting on the sand watching the sunset… I think my red tan and my very green top coupled with my big eyes scares them, they decline, but leave us their seats – brilliant! For some reason Mambo have decided to cordon off the DJ area at the side of the bar and tables in front of the DJ for Mr S’s warm up, not impressed with that – its like a cattle market you can’t get moved. Have a bit of shape throwing, difficult with 6 square inches of space to move in, give up and decide to go to Kanya – my sunset bar for the duration of the holiday, less crowded at all times, nice staff, and really friendly customers. Disaster strikes! Walking back over the wasteland towards Mambo, in my euphoric state, I only twist my bad ankle!! We sit down for a bit while my head swims with pain, have a smoke, and attempt to walk to the car… its not good, its gonna be murder on the dancefloor as Ms Ellis-Bextor once said. Mr PL always the helpful chap reckons if I rub Charlie on it, it will go numb and will be ok to go to Pacha!! Looking at the size of my rapidly swelling foot its gonna take half of Columbia to sort this out!! We go home to check out the damage, 6 hours later foot raised, wrapped in a shower cap filled with ice cubes, drink in hand and decided that rubbing Charlie on ankle wasn’t the best idea, but snorting copious amounts of it would be….. I was right! Pain totally gone by 5.00am….
Tue 13 July
I don’t care – we’re going to see Dazza tonight if I have to go on crutches!!!! Waited on hand & foot all day by Mr PL (method in his madness - he’s taking no chances on my injury spoiling tonight’s plans). Pop down to Mambo for warm up with Dazza, had a couple of drinks with him and Mr Gooding and a bit of a chat ….. puts us on his guest list and we are happy. Luckily no cordoned off area in Mambo tonight so get the comfy chairs under the air con behind the DJ booth!
Got to Pacha at 1.00am as I wanted to rest my foot on the roof terrace, had dropped a little un on leaving Mambo, was feeling a little bit floaty lighty, but Mr PL was getting nothing, stayed on the roof bar and was persuaded to have a second……. Basically a double drop as they seemed to both come up together Bah!! We then ended up in fits of uncontrollable laughter, and spent the night watching the strange folk in the VIP, (funny how money does not buy manners, taste or respect!!)
I was convinced Tim Delux and Mutiny were playing also, so was looking forward to that, finds out it was Mutiny and Sister Bliss on arrival, not a big SB fan it has to be said, but to our surprise she had the place rocking!! Mutiny were pretty good, playing a nice tight set, but SB had the place twisted up, by the time Dazza came on at 4.00am the place was manic. Unfortunately at this point ankle was starting to feel the strain. Lasted till 5.30am – taxi back (after popping [hopping more like] into the DJ booth to thank Dazza and give him a big fat snog bye bye! Evil looks off girlies round the DJ booth!
Wed 14 July
Rest foot today. Its impossible to swim in a pool with using only one foot – sent Mr PL out to buy me an inflatable bed for the pool – he came back with a 4’ inflatable Dalmatian, complete with waggy tail, dangly legs and floppy ears - great fun bobbing round the pool, except I had to sit in it put my legs through the holes and I got stuck… no help form Mr PL as he is pissing himself laughing at me – get worried as sure circulation is being cut off mid thigh by the tightness of the leg holes – spill bottle of beer in pool!
Dinner tonight at Curry Club (luckily without inflatable dalmation)– again really cheap meal, 2 bottles of wine, starters, main courses and coffee – 48€. Back to villa – Charlie and Dominoes tonight – kids it’s the new clubbing!!!!!
Thu 15 July
Mr PL has decided its definitely Cream tonight, couldn’t get a hold of our friend to confirm guestlists, but still we decide to go. Off to Bar M for a few cheekies, meet strange circus type performer in the toilets who is doing a bondage/ acrobat show in Bar M, watch them spend 25 mins tying up a man and a woman waiting for the performance, then 25 mins untying them – apparently it’s a dry run for knot practice!! After a lot of MDMA and whisky we decide we might as well take advantage of the free bus to Cream that came with the tickets….. NEVER AGAIN!! I felt like a warder from a young offenders institution on a day out with the inmates – I was in such a foul mood when I got off the coach I needed more pharmaceuticals, trip to the toilet and bob’s your uncle! We go and stand in a quiet place to do the necessary, and bump into a couple who we met last year – this was really bizarre, they always go in August, we always go in August, due to circumstances we both ended up coming in July, and we were both standing in an area of the club we wouldn’t normally stand in – Karma!! Had a cracking night, not down to the music I hasten to add, just through great company and generally messing around. Music was mediocre to say the least, never really got me in a euphoric mood at all, left at 5.30am back to ours, where we realised that more pharmaceuticals were gonna be needed to make it a good 24 hour sess. Called some friends, mission accomplished!! MDMA jelly was the dish of the day!
Fri 16 July
All I really remember is Crazy Golf, Pool and Air Hockey tournament in San An Bay. sleep came at some point later and then food. Not in a state to do anything except read….
Sat 17 July
Shopping needed again!!! A day out driving round the Island, looking for nice little beaches – lovely!! Back at the villa by 7.00pm – off to Kanya for sunset – excellent. A few drinks and I am flagging big style from Thu/Fri 24 hr session, so back to villa, cheeky lines /crosswords/ and played Give Us a Clue with me pretending to be Una Stubbs til 5.00am - how hardcore are we!!! For some reason sleep didn’t come easy – still awake at 9.00am.
Sun 18 July
Supposed to be Space today……cant face it…. So we head off up North to take away temptation from anything really…..Have a fantastic day just what we needed, really romantic and HEALTHY!
Mon 19 July
Play in the pool with Mr PL and the Dalmatian, by this time the Dalmatian has a very droopy leg (I think he has an injury) and his tail has gone very limp! Decide that we must see Roger tonight – ankle is feeling good and we ‘ve now managed to acquire 30 beans, bag of MDMA and a bag of base speed from some people who were flying back home on Sunday and were gonna chuck it – rather than that they gave it to us for free. At this point I have decided I do not want any more things again and we will give it all away or bin it! Pop along to Kanya for sunset, walk to Mambo (Mr PL is taking no chances and makes us walk the long way round on the road this time not across the wasteland) Again Mr S has his cordoned off area so we move onto the terrace bit to watch the grungy fire people, danced my ass off, and the best bit of the night was watching a woman (probs about 55+) imagine your mum in “mum type” clothes, curly grey/blonde perm, glasses on a chain round her neck, nice Indian print blouse and skirt combo – giving it loads, she was having a ball!!! - if she hadn’t had a cheeky one, I would have been surprised!!! She was smiling with everyone, the dancers on the raised bit were not impressed that she was getting more attention than they were! Who ever she was, she was my hero of the holiday, I got a bit emotional and teary and said to Mr PL “Do you think that will be me in 15 years time babe?” He looked at me in horror and said “You’re not having any more drugs this holiday if you are going to talk like that!” Got to Pacha for Sanchez, he was fantastic – my only disappointment of the night was that the woman from Mambo hadn’t turned up – I wanted to go and talk to her and maybe discuss adopting her, or at the very least invite her back for a carry on! (BTW – had dipped into the freebie bag by now)
Tue 20 July
Calla Conte Beach all day, hired jet ski’s – which were great – never been on one before and to be honest my hand/eye co-ordination was pretty much impaired by this point, so was bricking it before I got started. …. Today I have the hunger of a small third world country – go to a lovely restaurant on the beach (didn’t get its name tho sorry!!) had Calamari, Salad, Garlic Mayonnaise and crusty bread, followed by 2 fresh smoothies. Didn’t dare go in the water again for fear of sinking, spent the rest of the day sunbathing, and reading.
Still hungry later , so off to Kasbah for a meal and a sunset….. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised the food was really good indeed. If you like sitting around DJ’s and their entourages – then go to Kasbah. Mr PL reckons he had the best burger ever whilst I opted for the Tuna Fishcakes with a warm spicy chilli dipping sauce and salad. Food was really nice and well presented, service was great, but I wonder if that was because we were on the next table to the Cheesemeister himself, Tall Paul and families. (downside was that they ran out of Sol and Coronita and I had to settle for Miller lite - blurgh).
Decide that as it was our last Tue it would be rude not to venture along to Mambo, and then sort guesties to Dazza again. We walked over the wasteland (ankle injury was long forgotten by this juncture in the holiday), lost a large bag of Charlie, stumbled down to Mambo and borrowed a torch from the bar (told them I had lost my car keys) left Mr PL standing in the vicinity of the lost bag, 10 mins searching and found it!!!!! Felt a bit mean at one point when a bunch of lads stopped to help us look for “keys” and I was like – no thanks lads honest its fine – no help needed – move along now…
Wed 21 July
The day I have feared most, our friends are pitching up for a 5 day bender. Have decided they can have the rest of the freebies, I am sticking to Charles for the rest of the holiday. Luckily we find out they aren’t arriving until 11.30pm so we breathe a sigh of relief and have a day /night of rest! We head off again to Ibiza Town for pre-meal drinks to K-ube - Khumaras has nothing on this place for slow service!!! This place should have an award for it.
It was pretty empty when we got there at about 10.00pm, I was avoiding alcohol at this point, was suffering from a massive headache and generally feeling like a wrung out dishrag, so decided to go for a power smoothie, strawberries, pineapple, kiwifruit and melon, Mr PL, opted for fresh orange smoothie – 25 mins later we get served, the worst part of it was we were desperate to get a drink just to get painkillers down our necks so we could eat……Forgot to say, Previous to K-ube Bar we had spent 15 mins in a chemist in Ibiza Town buying painkillers, standing in front of us were the smelliest bunch of kids ever, I nearly fell over in my haste to move away from them in the chemists when I saw what I think was the biggest head lice (louse?) ever crawling/jumping through the back of her hair on to her kid’s hair who she was holding in her arms – worst experience of the holiday!
Surprisingly, I had lost my appetite after that experience and kept feeling all itchy in K-ube, but Mr PL said we must eat. We ended up in a little restaurant on the front of the harbour- La Formentera – tip- eat inside its air conditioned and you can’t smell the harbour at all! Lovely little restaurant, again priced really reasonably, Mr PL had homemade veg soup and lemon chicken, I still feeling a bit creeped out by the lice episode, could only manage the lightest thing on the menu – Mussels – how gorgeous??? Cooked perfectly with a light white wine, tomato basil and garlic sauce…. Mmmmmmm. Couple of coffees to follow and only 45€ . We wandered back up to Base and Rock Bars for another drink and then off home for some zzzzzzz’s.
Thu 22 July
The boys have arrived!! Andy is playing at Bora Bora at 4.00pm – 8.00pm so we get all the bits and bobs together for them, get down there for 6.00pmish, its just right, not too full and not too empty, Andy and the boys are in top form, except Andy isn’t playing till 8.00pm – lying git!!! Anyway messiness in full flow at the time Andy hits the decks, and its been free drinks all afternoon courtesy of Gee Moore (has Mr Moore had botox – lovely fella but his forehead doesn’t move when he’s talking) anyway offload the freebieswhich now consist of 25 little uns half a bag of MDMA and a rather large bag of base speed to the boys they seem happy yet so scared! Great day in the sunshine, dancind drinking snorting…….. spent about 2 hrs trying to get a photo of a plane flying over my head whilst lying on a table – I mean how often do they fly over, and how did I not manage to spot one!!! Just unlucky I guess……..
The boys were going for a meal after Andy finished on the decks so we left them to their messiness at about 11.00pm as Mr PL was driving and we needed to pack for our last day the next day….
Fri 23 July
Last day of sunshine – lie around all day, tidy up the villa for any evidence of the 2 weeks….. Go for one last sunset at Kanya, (its bloody cloudy!) have a meal, Spare Ribs and Indonesian chicken for starters and Spag Bol for Mr PL and Chicken Fajitas for myself, a couple of drinks each - €50. slowly and sadly walk back to the car. We leave the villa at 11.00pm as I have told Mr PL we fly at 2.00am – he looks at the tickets and informs me its actually 3.30am and we have loads of time to kill, we park up at Bar M to meet the lads for one last drink before the airport – can’t find them but we have a drink anyway……
Duty free shopping takes over from depression. Sat in the airport watching Scarface, my favourite scene comes on and I am gagged for a cheeky line….. my phone then rings its my mate “Are you coming to Bar M then for drinks”? “ errrr would love to mate but about to board my flight in about an hour”, “bollocks – it all went a bit wrong after you guys left Bora Bora yesterday, that’s why we’re a bit late like for Bar M, we did all that stuff in you left (between 3 people) and I ended up at Space this morning, and then it all went a bit wrong – I woke up about 11.00am this morning on the sitting room floor, naked on all fours with twigs sticking out me arse”…..
A perfect end to a perfect holiday…
In all, I reckon this year in Ibiza was the best for randomness, plans going out the window, meeting up with people again, finding things fun which you would normally not even entertain back home, everything we did was spot on, really nothing disappointing, as they say Ibiza is what you make it, and considering the frame of mind we were in when we left – we did pretty damn well…….. roll on September
My ban wont come into effect until after then i imagine.....