bigtezza
Active Member
Booked a short somewhat relaxing Ibiza break in January to go from the 13th – 15th June. Bad, bad idea, some say I have OCD I just think I'm impatient. Why can't Ibiza be built on a giant raft which floats around the world staying where its warm but that's not the story. I digress, so I spent every day checking Ibiza spotlights calendar and the forum to see if any club nights / events had been added in order to plan the trip right up until we jet off.
Sunday
Finally we get on the plane and touch down in Ibiza late afternoon on the Sunday. We Love is On but we are staying in San Antonio and there's only me and my girlfriend. We are debating Judgement Sundays , it seems the sensible option. So we leave the airport and some skank asks if we want to share a taxi, naturally we accept. We arrive at her hotel which is not the natural route to our hotel of choice which the name escapes me S'anfora Fleming or something. The taxi's at 30plus euro's and I'm handed a note. 10 ****ing euros, I admire her audacity and let it slip we are on holiday after all and in the scheme of Ibiza prices 20 euros is nothing.
Anyways we get some beers down us on the balcony and get out. Frequent a few bars and decide that we'll probably just go out round the West End and end up in Hush or something instead of paying 70 euros or something to see Judge Jules. Next thing I know we're on a coach with a group of lads going to We Love. Deep down the two of us knew this would happen and we're buzzing. The next few hours are a blur as we float between rooms, it's going great, it's not that busy but the atmospheres relatively good in the rooms that aren't empty. Girlfriend has purchased a fan and she's happy. I go to get the camera out for the first time for a picture, hmm where is it. Not in this pocket not that pocket, oh dear buzz kill. It's nowhere to be found so we get a taxi back to our room at about 4.30 and accept the cameras gone and its early night time.
Monday
Monday morning arrives and whilst we both wanted to see Sven at Cocoon we decide Tiesto takes priority as he's in Privilege. Weather is overcast so we go for a mooch, I buy a new camera from a camera shop with only 2 cameras in it. Bizarre. Forget my credit card pin, sign my name on a receipt it goes through, good guesswork. Whatever alls good we have the camera. Rest of days a blur think we get free entry to Es Paradis but not sure. We walk in look around and leave venturing over to Tiesto at Privilege. We had booked our tickets via spotlight and don't even have to queue instead ending up in the dome where we get served straight away. Definitely impressed. Tiesto doesn't disappoint we end up at the front, the stage show is fantastic and the music isn't as commercial as I'd expected. Its going amazing until someone throws a bottle or something and we don't think anything of it. Next thing I look down and my girlfriend's foot is immersed in a pool of blood. Somehow the bouncer sees this and leads us off to some side room. I'm thinking this is going to be a killjoy but it turns out not to be- the guys tending to a tiny cut which has produced a lot of blood are muscled up to death, the missus is made up as they're fussing over her. Note to self buy some steroids and a Golds gym membership.
We bounce back out and instead of trying to get back to the front where movement is impossible and it's like being at a concert, we carry on going at it behind the pool. Forget going anywhere else in the world, this is what its all about. We don't want the night to end. I resist the temptation to dive in to the pool not least because of what looks like electrical wires in the pool but also because of the calibre of bouncers I have witnessed. What a night though, whatever you think of Tiesto he makes a proper effort tonight and we stay until closing where whilst queuing for a taxi some idiots try and jump the queue the bouncer has none of it. Nice one bruvvaaaaa.
Tuesday
Not wanting to miss out on seeing the beautiful island we hire a car the next morning as it seems like the thing to do at that time. We go for a drive around the island but the weathers appalling and we end up in Playa D'en Bossa. We look for Sands as we've heard there's a party being held there today by MuMu, but we fail to find it and the beach is empty so we abandon the plan and go for some food.
The guy outside leads us in for some food but not before asking us if we need any vitamins for tonight. Makes us chuckle and we decline but it's always good to know where to go when you're on an island which doesn't have a Holland and Barrett : ) . Anyways its Pacha tonight and we've got a booking for the restaurant. We rock up and there's some freaks outside, the clubs not open so don't know their purpose and don't care – just what I wanted to see but quite intimidating. Anyways we rock on into the restaurant and are seated. We have a cured duck and truffle salad starter with goats cheese accompanied by some wine. Good start. Then I follow it up with the ox fillet and fois gras whilst the other half has monkfish with some more wine. We have some more wine and a dessert before settling the bill. Meal is phenomenal and we amble into the club high on food and wine.
Expect the night Pacha Seduction to be empty but it's actually really busy and from reading rumours on this site that David Popetta is looking to charge 100 euros entry to his night this year I can actually believe it. Nonetheless the night doesn't disappoint, angry man David Morales looks broody takes his top off and smokes continuously playing commercial tunes but we have a great laugh, the laser machines on, there's semi naked women dripping in what looks like diamond burkha face masks riding on mini merry go rounds and the atmospheres really good. A surprisingly great night.
Wednesday
Last day today so we go for a walk, I hate flip flops but have no other cheap footwear so put em on and don't feel the burn until we're about 3 miles from home when I realise there is a fat strip of skin missing off the top of both feet. Bad times and in frustration I throw them in a bin and stomp back to the hotel barefoot and free.
Todays the day we're meant to be flying home but I've always wanted to visit Cream at Amnesia and it seems stupid we're here but going home. I suppose that's what credit cards are for, we book 2 nights in the Algarb in Playa D'en Bossa and drive to the Hippy Market, its ****, not how I remember it from when I visited a good few years before, so pay a trip to Es Cana beach to pay our respects to loved ones who are no longer with us and once loved this area of Ibiza and have lunch and a few drinks in a lovely bar overlooking the beach. Cruise back to San An to see the sunset with a meal at Kanya and hopefully catch Erick Morillo dj at one of the sunset strip bars Mambo I think. Unfortunately we miss him so we take it easy and prepare for a mad one the next night.
Thursday
Last proper day and the first one of proper hot sun so chill by the pool in Playa D'en Bossa with some beers. Can't believe we're going home tomorrow gotta make the most of it so buy a large bottle of brandy, some schnapps and discover a bottle of spirit with a dead lizard in it with japaneze writing on it. Hmmm. Get on the beach sat near a beach bar called L'elephant or La Plant?? I think chilling with drinks enjoying the weather and the chilled music. Anyways a few brandys later we end up at Bora Bora and its going off, there's a midget hanging with a girl with rainbow coloured hair, a guy with what looks like a condom on his head, someone who looks like Chris Evans and an old woman with her tattys out amongst others. It's a bit scatty but this is what it's all about raving in the sun as it edges over the back of the building immersing us in shade.
The curtain starts coming out to shut the beach outsiders out we revel in this for a while until the booze is gone then we go into the Bora Bora circle of trust. Spidermans not there some lemons in his place and he's not even dressed as a lemon. Its going off we're buzzing there's a chubbster trying to get on the podium but the lemon won't let him, so we all boo this spreads and the chubster gains access to the podium and starts goosestepping like a Nazi on acid. Its legendary stuff, the lemon is taking huge drags on his cigarette looking pissed but who cares. It's good, it's all good until next thing a pair of boxers land near me and Nazi man on acid is naked and running out of the bar and down the beach. What's happened I don't know, I don't think anybody does, its actually pretty random.
We carry on regardless until we realise we are supposed to be going to Cream so stagger along the beach for what seems like forever although the camera shows a pic of a sandcastle, maybe we built one but I can't be sure.
We change quickly and make tracks out, I'm ashamed to admit it but I'm pretty messy already, the missus is holding it together and orders a cocktail, I plump for water. Finally we make it to Amnesia it looks promising from the outside and we get in the queue. We've pre bought tickets off spotlight and after the great experience at Privilege we expect the same here. I just want to get in but for some reason unknown to me the queue for those with tickets fails to move whilst those paying on the door waltz in. I'm close to pissing myself, this isn't a good situation a wet patch round my crotch would be a bad start, finally after over 40 mins we get in and get on it. Gareth Wyn is on the terrace and whilst I don't particularly remember him the video on his YouTube page shows otherwise. PVD comes on and absolutely kills it, yes he's commercial but he drops Beachball- my night is made and it's all been worth it. We venture in to see Prydz in the main room but for some reason we're not feeling it so venture back onto the terrace and blur on through.
Getting the plane home is horrendous, Monarch makes Ryanair look luxurious but we get home and collapse into bed. We may have no money whatsoever left to see us through the next few months and I have to get a small loan off the bank for ‘home improvements' to survive but it's been worth it.
Hope I haven't bored anyone, roll on June 14th 2011 where 2 new priorities exist. To visit DC10 and to see Sven Vath.
Sunday
Finally we get on the plane and touch down in Ibiza late afternoon on the Sunday. We Love is On but we are staying in San Antonio and there's only me and my girlfriend. We are debating Judgement Sundays , it seems the sensible option. So we leave the airport and some skank asks if we want to share a taxi, naturally we accept. We arrive at her hotel which is not the natural route to our hotel of choice which the name escapes me S'anfora Fleming or something. The taxi's at 30plus euro's and I'm handed a note. 10 ****ing euros, I admire her audacity and let it slip we are on holiday after all and in the scheme of Ibiza prices 20 euros is nothing.
Anyways we get some beers down us on the balcony and get out. Frequent a few bars and decide that we'll probably just go out round the West End and end up in Hush or something instead of paying 70 euros or something to see Judge Jules. Next thing I know we're on a coach with a group of lads going to We Love. Deep down the two of us knew this would happen and we're buzzing. The next few hours are a blur as we float between rooms, it's going great, it's not that busy but the atmospheres relatively good in the rooms that aren't empty. Girlfriend has purchased a fan and she's happy. I go to get the camera out for the first time for a picture, hmm where is it. Not in this pocket not that pocket, oh dear buzz kill. It's nowhere to be found so we get a taxi back to our room at about 4.30 and accept the cameras gone and its early night time.
Monday
Monday morning arrives and whilst we both wanted to see Sven at Cocoon we decide Tiesto takes priority as he's in Privilege. Weather is overcast so we go for a mooch, I buy a new camera from a camera shop with only 2 cameras in it. Bizarre. Forget my credit card pin, sign my name on a receipt it goes through, good guesswork. Whatever alls good we have the camera. Rest of days a blur think we get free entry to Es Paradis but not sure. We walk in look around and leave venturing over to Tiesto at Privilege. We had booked our tickets via spotlight and don't even have to queue instead ending up in the dome where we get served straight away. Definitely impressed. Tiesto doesn't disappoint we end up at the front, the stage show is fantastic and the music isn't as commercial as I'd expected. Its going amazing until someone throws a bottle or something and we don't think anything of it. Next thing I look down and my girlfriend's foot is immersed in a pool of blood. Somehow the bouncer sees this and leads us off to some side room. I'm thinking this is going to be a killjoy but it turns out not to be- the guys tending to a tiny cut which has produced a lot of blood are muscled up to death, the missus is made up as they're fussing over her. Note to self buy some steroids and a Golds gym membership.
We bounce back out and instead of trying to get back to the front where movement is impossible and it's like being at a concert, we carry on going at it behind the pool. Forget going anywhere else in the world, this is what its all about. We don't want the night to end. I resist the temptation to dive in to the pool not least because of what looks like electrical wires in the pool but also because of the calibre of bouncers I have witnessed. What a night though, whatever you think of Tiesto he makes a proper effort tonight and we stay until closing where whilst queuing for a taxi some idiots try and jump the queue the bouncer has none of it. Nice one bruvvaaaaa.
Tuesday
Not wanting to miss out on seeing the beautiful island we hire a car the next morning as it seems like the thing to do at that time. We go for a drive around the island but the weathers appalling and we end up in Playa D'en Bossa. We look for Sands as we've heard there's a party being held there today by MuMu, but we fail to find it and the beach is empty so we abandon the plan and go for some food.
The guy outside leads us in for some food but not before asking us if we need any vitamins for tonight. Makes us chuckle and we decline but it's always good to know where to go when you're on an island which doesn't have a Holland and Barrett : ) . Anyways its Pacha tonight and we've got a booking for the restaurant. We rock up and there's some freaks outside, the clubs not open so don't know their purpose and don't care – just what I wanted to see but quite intimidating. Anyways we rock on into the restaurant and are seated. We have a cured duck and truffle salad starter with goats cheese accompanied by some wine. Good start. Then I follow it up with the ox fillet and fois gras whilst the other half has monkfish with some more wine. We have some more wine and a dessert before settling the bill. Meal is phenomenal and we amble into the club high on food and wine.
Expect the night Pacha Seduction to be empty but it's actually really busy and from reading rumours on this site that David Popetta is looking to charge 100 euros entry to his night this year I can actually believe it. Nonetheless the night doesn't disappoint, angry man David Morales looks broody takes his top off and smokes continuously playing commercial tunes but we have a great laugh, the laser machines on, there's semi naked women dripping in what looks like diamond burkha face masks riding on mini merry go rounds and the atmospheres really good. A surprisingly great night.
Wednesday
Last day today so we go for a walk, I hate flip flops but have no other cheap footwear so put em on and don't feel the burn until we're about 3 miles from home when I realise there is a fat strip of skin missing off the top of both feet. Bad times and in frustration I throw them in a bin and stomp back to the hotel barefoot and free.
Todays the day we're meant to be flying home but I've always wanted to visit Cream at Amnesia and it seems stupid we're here but going home. I suppose that's what credit cards are for, we book 2 nights in the Algarb in Playa D'en Bossa and drive to the Hippy Market, its ****, not how I remember it from when I visited a good few years before, so pay a trip to Es Cana beach to pay our respects to loved ones who are no longer with us and once loved this area of Ibiza and have lunch and a few drinks in a lovely bar overlooking the beach. Cruise back to San An to see the sunset with a meal at Kanya and hopefully catch Erick Morillo dj at one of the sunset strip bars Mambo I think. Unfortunately we miss him so we take it easy and prepare for a mad one the next night.
Thursday
Last proper day and the first one of proper hot sun so chill by the pool in Playa D'en Bossa with some beers. Can't believe we're going home tomorrow gotta make the most of it so buy a large bottle of brandy, some schnapps and discover a bottle of spirit with a dead lizard in it with japaneze writing on it. Hmmm. Get on the beach sat near a beach bar called L'elephant or La Plant?? I think chilling with drinks enjoying the weather and the chilled music. Anyways a few brandys later we end up at Bora Bora and its going off, there's a midget hanging with a girl with rainbow coloured hair, a guy with what looks like a condom on his head, someone who looks like Chris Evans and an old woman with her tattys out amongst others. It's a bit scatty but this is what it's all about raving in the sun as it edges over the back of the building immersing us in shade.
The curtain starts coming out to shut the beach outsiders out we revel in this for a while until the booze is gone then we go into the Bora Bora circle of trust. Spidermans not there some lemons in his place and he's not even dressed as a lemon. Its going off we're buzzing there's a chubbster trying to get on the podium but the lemon won't let him, so we all boo this spreads and the chubster gains access to the podium and starts goosestepping like a Nazi on acid. Its legendary stuff, the lemon is taking huge drags on his cigarette looking pissed but who cares. It's good, it's all good until next thing a pair of boxers land near me and Nazi man on acid is naked and running out of the bar and down the beach. What's happened I don't know, I don't think anybody does, its actually pretty random.
We carry on regardless until we realise we are supposed to be going to Cream so stagger along the beach for what seems like forever although the camera shows a pic of a sandcastle, maybe we built one but I can't be sure.
We change quickly and make tracks out, I'm ashamed to admit it but I'm pretty messy already, the missus is holding it together and orders a cocktail, I plump for water. Finally we make it to Amnesia it looks promising from the outside and we get in the queue. We've pre bought tickets off spotlight and after the great experience at Privilege we expect the same here. I just want to get in but for some reason unknown to me the queue for those with tickets fails to move whilst those paying on the door waltz in. I'm close to pissing myself, this isn't a good situation a wet patch round my crotch would be a bad start, finally after over 40 mins we get in and get on it. Gareth Wyn is on the terrace and whilst I don't particularly remember him the video on his YouTube page shows otherwise. PVD comes on and absolutely kills it, yes he's commercial but he drops Beachball- my night is made and it's all been worth it. We venture in to see Prydz in the main room but for some reason we're not feeling it so venture back onto the terrace and blur on through.
Getting the plane home is horrendous, Monarch makes Ryanair look luxurious but we get home and collapse into bed. We may have no money whatsoever left to see us through the next few months and I have to get a small loan off the bank for ‘home improvements' to survive but it's been worth it.
Hope I haven't bored anyone, roll on June 14th 2011 where 2 new priorities exist. To visit DC10 and to see Sven Vath.
