Saturday 11th
After a half hour delay we arrived and the warm blast as we stepped off the plane was the confirmation we were finally back!
. Bags off the carousel and through to meet the rep from Hiper Car Rental, then on the minibus over the road (literally) into hell….
I have never used Hiper Car before and I can honestly say that I will never go anywhere near that utter shower of shaaaayite again!! :x :x A two hour wait was on the cards just to pick up a hire car and it just wasn’t the start of the holiday I was looking for. The one saving grace was that I hadn’t handed over any money or card details when reserving the car through amigo autos, so cue Jam Man picking up bags and heading back into the airport where a VERY helpful person at Europcar sorted us out with a 1.4 Seat Ibiza with CD and aircon for only £80 more than Hiper, which over the 2 weeks was WELL worth it.
Batted it down the main Eivissa to San An road and met up with Puppylover and Mr PL who had sorted the shopping and so it was all back to Stella Maris Club.
Few drinks and shenanigans at Casa Puppy until about 3am and then we headed to our ickle room for sleep before Space….
Sunday 12th
Up at about 11 and after fannying around for a bit we grabbed some brekky, charged up with berocca etc. and headed to Space.
Got in at about 3 and hit the terrace where Mr Ulysses was dropping some ass shakin stuff – saw the most pasty faced, girl I have ever seen in my life on a podium and as she looked like ‘Perry’ from ‘Kevin & Perry’, The ‘Puppys’ and ‘Jams’ all danced in unison to cries of “Fanks very much Fankyoooo!!!” and “Yes Ms Patterson!!”
for a good while until the end of JU’s set when an oriental looking DJ came on and pretty much lost the crowd…
Headed inside and then up to the top terrace where the setting was cool and the breeze nie and chilling but the music was TERRIBLE!! Some beardy weirdy playing the most bizarre unlinked tripe that we only stayed about an hour as Mr PL was getting the most cheesed off and thought about going over and giving him a helping hand!! 
Decided to make use of the wristbands and headed to Bora Bora for………..silence
With little other option we had a paddle in the sea as the darkness loomed and then grabbed a table. And a round of vodka limons, then another, then another and very quickly 2 hours had passed.
Back into space – terrace rammed with the big boobed sweaty boys so inside we went. Not normally my scene but this year the inside of Space was cool!! Puppys and Jams getting down to some good vibes until about 1am when Mrs Jam’s ankle, hurt in a surfing accident (ahem) the week before, decided it was enough and so we headed off in a zig zag fashion to get a cab back home.
Monday 13th
No-one up before midday and we took advantage of the pool facilities and did little else. Nice meal in the evening at Dalt Villa right at the top of the main square overlooking the harbour. Mr PL drove so a few bottles of Penedes shiraz were successfully put back and we called it a night at about 3am
Tuesday 14th
Pool day again followed by a few drinks watching the football and Mr PL demonstrating his lack of alcohol tolerance by almost collapsing in the top terrace of Bar M. By 1am we knew he was not fit for anywhere so headed back and played a marathon of drunken pool into the wee hours before sacking it at about 4 – So hardcore!!!!
Weds 15th
…was cloudy and the storm that we were to witness later was brewing so we went for a drive and had tea / dinner / whatever at Coastline before the deluge……
Stayed up watching the storm at Casa Puppy until 7am – It was that good. Apparently a litre of rain fell in a square metre within an hour and I have never witnessed anything like it in my life!
Thursday 16th
…was a write off as the excess of the night before meant we managed to get up just in time for sunset so a bit of shopping followed by the sunset strip – Kasbah, Kanya, Coastline, Mambo, Savannah until we were dropping again. God we felt old!!
Friday 17th
..was a much needed tan day as the lack of daylight was becoming a concern so after a bay of slow roasting we headed into Ibiza Town for a few drinks (Base Bar, K-Ube etc. ) then back after midnight for the Pool Championships take 2....
Saturday 18th
We said goodbye to the Puppys who had been our loyal companions for the week and also goodbye to the Stella Maris Club which although predominantly aimed at the German Family Market, served us proud with good facilities, air con, and a very good ambiance of palm trees and lots of little houses in a kind of village on the hill formation.
The Villa beckoned though and off we headed for the foothills outside Jesus.
Wow.........
This little finca was awesome with its own pool, remote electric gates, Banging Stereo, bohemian décor and allround cosy but clean feel. We made ourselves feel at home…….. by staying up until about 4am. Not the best preparation for Space!!
Sunday 19th
Had a day around our new home then hit Space at about 7. Good fun on the terrace and then inside once it shut, finally left at about 5:30 and my lack of available details will give you a clue as to the state of mind…. It was a messy one! Met Drew and Barbie (briefly) and a great bunch of guys from London who threatened to kidnap us and take us to their villa near St Jose. Saw Fusion on a podium flashing away like a neon sign but couldn’t attract his attention as he was ‘In the zone’ ….
Monday 20th
Up at a reasonable time and prepared for Release Yourself which we managed to get Guestlisted for (which was nice!) Arrived at about 1 and the place was deserted! It took until about 2/3 for it to get going and unfortunately I had a very bad bout of the jelly belly and had to make a sharp exit at about half three. Mrs Jam stayed on with a friend and I am reliably informed that Mr S rocked it in the main room until the bitter end whilst yours truly was very bitter about spending most of that night at home sat on the loo!
Tuesday dawned at about 3pm for us and I was very weak from the night before. Took a load of fluid on board and felt semi human but it was a write off if I’m being honest.
Weds was a good deal better and we had a day exploring the old Town then a meal in the restaurant next to the La Olive thingy restaurant in D’Alt Villa. The food was awesome and the service excellent. We finished up at K-Ube for a few power juices then back to the villa where we made our own entertainment until the sun was promising to re-appear again when Mr 5HTP took us off into the land of nod….
Thursday and Friday were pool days again as the skin needed another grilling! We did go to Bambuddah Grove on Thursday Night after such a great time there last year but sadly this time it was a VERY different story. The barstaff were rude, food was awful and we were sat in between a table of and really obnoxious Germans who were playing ‘who’s got the most expensive car/watch/phone :x , and a group of about 15 rowdy British W@nkas on the other side. That place has gone from hero to zero and for the first time on the whole holiday we left without leaving a cent as a tip.
Before we knew it it was time to stuff all the dirties in the suitcase and line up like cattle in the terminal for the trip back to blighty…
We did only a fraction of the clubbing we had planned and really lazed it a bit but it suited us fine. I think two trips next year is a must!!
Highlights:
Meeting Mr & Mrs Puppylover
Space (twice)
The Villa / Finca
The Storm
D’Alt Villa
Lowlights:
Bad Belly night in Pacha
Hiper Effin Rent a Bloody Car
Bambuddah Grove
Tunes:
Michael Gray – The Weekend
Dr Kucho – Lies to yourself
Sucker DJ’s – It’s Got to Be
And a weird bootleg of Human League and Daft Punk - Around the world played in Space – answers on a postcard please…..
After a half hour delay we arrived and the warm blast as we stepped off the plane was the confirmation we were finally back!
. Bags off the carousel and through to meet the rep from Hiper Car Rental, then on the minibus over the road (literally) into hell….I have never used Hiper Car before and I can honestly say that I will never go anywhere near that utter shower of shaaaayite again!! :x :x A two hour wait was on the cards just to pick up a hire car and it just wasn’t the start of the holiday I was looking for. The one saving grace was that I hadn’t handed over any money or card details when reserving the car through amigo autos, so cue Jam Man picking up bags and heading back into the airport where a VERY helpful person at Europcar sorted us out with a 1.4 Seat Ibiza with CD and aircon for only £80 more than Hiper, which over the 2 weeks was WELL worth it.
Batted it down the main Eivissa to San An road and met up with Puppylover and Mr PL who had sorted the shopping and so it was all back to Stella Maris Club.
Few drinks and shenanigans at Casa Puppy until about 3am and then we headed to our ickle room for sleep before Space….
Sunday 12th
Up at about 11 and after fannying around for a bit we grabbed some brekky, charged up with berocca etc. and headed to Space.
Got in at about 3 and hit the terrace where Mr Ulysses was dropping some ass shakin stuff – saw the most pasty faced, girl I have ever seen in my life on a podium and as she looked like ‘Perry’ from ‘Kevin & Perry’, The ‘Puppys’ and ‘Jams’ all danced in unison to cries of “Fanks very much Fankyoooo!!!” and “Yes Ms Patterson!!”
for a good while until the end of JU’s set when an oriental looking DJ came on and pretty much lost the crowd…Headed inside and then up to the top terrace where the setting was cool and the breeze nie and chilling but the music was TERRIBLE!!
Some beardy weirdy playing the most bizarre unlinked tripe that we only stayed about an hour as Mr PL was getting the most cheesed off and thought about going over and giving him a helping hand!! Decided to make use of the wristbands and headed to Bora Bora for………..silence
With little other option we had a paddle in the sea as the darkness loomed and then grabbed a table. And a round of vodka limons, then another, then another and very quickly 2 hours had passed.
Back into space – terrace rammed with the big boobed sweaty boys so inside we went. Not normally my scene but this year the inside of Space was cool!! Puppys and Jams getting down to some good vibes until about 1am when Mrs Jam’s ankle, hurt in a surfing accident (ahem) the week before, decided it was enough and so we headed off in a zig zag fashion to get a cab back home.
Monday 13th
No-one up before midday and we took advantage of the pool facilities and did little else. Nice meal in the evening at Dalt Villa right at the top of the main square overlooking the harbour. Mr PL drove so a few bottles of Penedes shiraz were successfully put back and we called it a night at about 3am
Tuesday 14th
Pool day again followed by a few drinks watching the football and Mr PL demonstrating his lack of alcohol tolerance by almost collapsing in the top terrace of Bar M. By 1am we knew he was not fit for anywhere so headed back and played a marathon of drunken pool into the wee hours before sacking it at about 4 – So hardcore!!!!
Weds 15th
…was cloudy and the storm that we were to witness later was brewing so we went for a drive and had tea / dinner / whatever at Coastline before the deluge……
Stayed up watching the storm at Casa Puppy until 7am – It was that good. Apparently a litre of rain fell in a square metre within an hour and I have never witnessed anything like it in my life!
Thursday 16th
…was a write off as the excess of the night before meant we managed to get up just in time for sunset so a bit of shopping followed by the sunset strip – Kasbah, Kanya, Coastline, Mambo, Savannah until we were dropping again. God we felt old!!
Friday 17th
..was a much needed tan day as the lack of daylight was becoming a concern so after a bay of slow roasting we headed into Ibiza Town for a few drinks (Base Bar, K-Ube etc. ) then back after midnight for the Pool Championships take 2....
Saturday 18th
We said goodbye to the Puppys who had been our loyal companions for the week and also goodbye to the Stella Maris Club which although predominantly aimed at the German Family Market, served us proud with good facilities, air con, and a very good ambiance of palm trees and lots of little houses in a kind of village on the hill formation.
The Villa beckoned though and off we headed for the foothills outside Jesus.
Wow.........
This little finca was awesome with its own pool, remote electric gates, Banging Stereo, bohemian décor and allround cosy but clean feel. We made ourselves feel at home…….. by staying up until about 4am. Not the best preparation for Space!!
Sunday 19th
Had a day around our new home then hit Space at about 7. Good fun on the terrace and then inside once it shut, finally left at about 5:30 and my lack of available details will give you a clue as to the state of mind…. It was a messy one! Met Drew and Barbie (briefly) and a great bunch of guys from London who threatened to kidnap us and take us to their villa near St Jose. Saw Fusion on a podium flashing away like a neon sign
but couldn’t attract his attention as he was ‘In the zone’ ….Monday 20th
Up at a reasonable time and prepared for Release Yourself which we managed to get Guestlisted for (which was nice!) Arrived at about 1 and the place was deserted! It took until about 2/3 for it to get going and unfortunately I had a very bad bout of the jelly belly and had to make a sharp exit at about half three. Mrs Jam stayed on with a friend and I am reliably informed that Mr S rocked it in the main room until the bitter end whilst yours truly was very bitter about spending most of that night at home sat on the loo!
Tuesday dawned at about 3pm for us and I was very weak from the night before. Took a load of fluid on board and felt semi human but it was a write off if I’m being honest.
Weds was a good deal better and we had a day exploring the old Town then a meal in the restaurant next to the La Olive thingy restaurant in D’Alt Villa. The food was awesome and the service excellent. We finished up at K-Ube for a few power juices then back to the villa where we made our own entertainment until the sun was promising to re-appear again when Mr 5HTP took us off into the land of nod….
Thursday and Friday were pool days again as the skin needed another grilling! We did go to Bambuddah Grove on Thursday Night after such a great time there last year but sadly this time it was a VERY different story. The barstaff were rude, food was awful and we were sat in between a table of and really obnoxious Germans who were playing ‘who’s got the most expensive car/watch/phone
:x , and a group of about 15 rowdy British W@nkas on the other side. That place has gone from hero to zero and for the first time on the whole holiday we left without leaving a cent as a tip.Before we knew it it was time to stuff all the dirties in the suitcase and line up like cattle in the terminal for the trip back to blighty…
We did only a fraction of the clubbing we had planned and really lazed it a bit but it suited us fine. I think two trips next year is a must!!
Highlights:
Meeting Mr & Mrs Puppylover
Space (twice)
The Villa / Finca
The Storm
D’Alt Villa
Lowlights:
Bad Belly night in Pacha
Hiper Effin Rent a Bloody Car
Bambuddah Grove
Tunes:
Michael Gray – The Weekend
Dr Kucho – Lies to yourself
Sucker DJ’s – It’s Got to Be
And a weird bootleg of Human League and Daft Punk - Around the world played in Space – answers on a postcard please…..
