Its nearly Friday Joke.........

puppylover

puppylover

Active Member
Two buddies, Arthur and Steve, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Arthur throws up all over himself.
"Oh, no," he cries. "Judy will kill me!"
Steve says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty pound note in your breast pocket and tell her that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty quid for the dry-cleaning bill."


So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.
Eventually Arthur rolls into home and Judy screams, "You stink of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!"


Arthur says, "I can es'plain everythin! Ish not what you think. I only had a cupla drinks. But thish other guy got sick on me... he had one too many and he jush couldn't hold hizz drink. He said he was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie quid for the cleaning bill!"


Judy looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty quid"
"Oh, yeah, I almos' forgot," says Arthur. "He sh1t in my pants, too."
 
First year students at Med school were receiving their first anatomy class
with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery
table with the body covered with a white sheet.
>
The professor started the class by telling them, “In medicine, it is
necessary to have 2 important qualities. The first is that you not be
disgusted by anything involving the human body." The Professor pulled
back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and
stuck
his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his
students.
>
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but
Eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told
them,"The second important quality is observation. I stuck in my
middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."
 
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