I'm sharpening my elbows today...

[Stu Hirst]

...in preparation for Cocoon Closing.
Anyone who wants bruised ribs, i'll be on my usual spot under the dj box, on the platform to the right.

I've learned some handy tips for looking after yourself at the Closings.

1) Keep an eye out for anyone with open-topped shoes/sandals. "Accidentally" stand on them if they get too close
2) If anyone keeps barging into you, casually lean to one side and push them off the platform. When you get an evil look, glance to the side and blame it on the person next to you.
3) Pretend to get overly excited at a record and jump up and down far too energetically, bouncing off the iritating ar*ehole in front of you. He'll just think you're smashed and having a good time. Secretly I want to assault him.
4) Resort to swearing in a language you know they won't understand. E.g Scottish....


Be safe kids, and remember to stand your ground amongst the ignorant posers who take up our valuable dancing space.

 

[Robder]

You've made me feel so much better about not going - thank you!

 

[Ferd]

I can see the headlines in the local paper now
"Massive brawl in Amnesia started by inconsiderate scottish clubber"

Have a good one stu, see you in part II of your trip for the Space closing

 

[fatphilb]

i was at the steps in pacha at pure opening, just to the right of the dj box. i was kind of sittin at the ledge of the podium for the dancers, facing the dj box. all of a sudden i felt this sharp thudd in my back and got thrown forward. some punter had come crashing down headfirst into my back

i thought it would have been sorer but i was more shocked.

 

[djchewie]

me thinks stu needs to pack these