Hi RobUk,
Yes, we have a very active football firm here in Ibiza. We like to call ourselves the Ushuaia Ultras and have been around since the 70's in various forms. I am the lead organiser.
Our main rivals are the San Antonio Scallies who are c*nts and always try and take our upmarket sunbeds from Playa D'en Bossa as a sign that they are boss. But trust me my friend, they run like girls when we storm Plastik bar waving our Estrella bottles in the air.
In 1995 our main hooligan was battered to death with a rollover hotdog in a horrific ambush attack and since then we have taken part in a number of revenge attacks in honour of our former leader. The most successul one was when we invited them to Ushuaia for a free music event and locked them in before bringing David Guetta onto the stage. Their ears all bled like pussy's with some of the ****e he played before setting them free, back to their slums.
We offer a full year's membership for 117 euro or a summer pass for 79 euro and our merchandise is sold at competitive prices. We currently have in excess of 50 members and would be happy to consider yourself for a membership as long as you complete the vetting process. This includes throwing a sunlounger through the window of a private villa (of your choice), drinking five cocktails in KM5 in five minutes, watching the Spanish version of Green Street with no subtitles and having a Ultras tattoo inked onto your buttock, for identification purposes.
A full application form, with a pre-paid envelope, can be dowloaded from our website:
www.UshUltras.com
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Pedro x
P.S - We are a very private operation so please do not show this message to anyone else. The Policia are very desperate to crackdown on our illegal exploits.
