How to spice up a marriage...

J

Jam Man

Active Member
Well it made me laugh....


Three women; one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....that night all three will wear a leather bodice, stiletto's and mask over their eyes

After a few days they meet again.....

The engaged girlfriend: 'the other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me with the leather bodice, 12 cms stilettos and mask. He saw me he said: 'you are the woman of my life, I love you'...then we made love all night long

The mistress: Ah! Me too, the other night I met my lover in the office and I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat, when I opened the raincoat... He did not say anything.....but we had wild sex all night

The married one: 'the other night I sent the kids to stay at my mothers for the night, I got myself ready: leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband comes back from work, opens the door and says:

'Hi Batman, what's for dinner?'
 
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building"

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
-The 1st floor sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs
-The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
-The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
-She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
-Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
-Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.

-The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.
-The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.

-The 3rd - 6th floors have never been visited.
 
Have as much sex with her as you possibly can.

Once married it will tail off.

Once you have kids it's only Birthdays, Xmas & Anniversary (Valentines if you remember flowers n sheeit)
 
Last edited by a moderator:
erm...thanks folks. Thats sure made me think the stress of the wedding is really gonna be worth it!
 
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