Grown Up Christmas Dilemma

B

Barbie

New Member
Sorry to interrupt teasmaid, pigeon :evil: etc talk but do any of you have Christmas dilemmas about where you're spending it etc??

This is mine and Tom's 7th Christmas together and cept for the 1st one when we'd only been together a few months we've always spent it together with my family up north. This has always suited everyone cos Tom's family all live close to us and we see them all the time and we'll go over for pre and post Christmas drinkies/foods and we don't get to go up north for any length of time cept for at Christmas.

This year however he's just found out his Gran has got cancer and basically it's going to be her last Christmas so understandably he wants to spend Christmas with her. At the same time I really want to be with my family this Christmas (even more so than normal) cos my Grandad has been really ill earlier this year and we're all just grateful that he's still with us.

But this means me and Tom will be spending Christmas separately and we've never done this for years and the thought of not spending it together is sad for us and won't seem like Christmas (even tho at the same time we want to be with our families as well.)

What to do :? Do we just think that this is one Christmas that we're not going to be spending together (and we'll have lots together in the future) and spend this years with our respective families and then Tom can drive up north after Christmas and we spend time together then :?
 
aw babs, that is a dilemma.

How about you arrange to have christmas separately as it's really important for both of you to be with your families, but then use your imaginations (I'm pretty sure you've got those!) to have another day you call christmas with just the two of you and maybe some other friends/family. Have turkey, crackers, presents, egg nog, charades, rent xmas family movies, extra presents, the works (you can get all that stuff really cheaply after xmas anyway!)

Then you get to be with your families AND get to have 2 christmas's
 
I think for this year that the only option you have is to spend Christmas seperately as you both need to be with your family and your family will need you around with your Grandad and Toms Gran not being so well. Tom and you can still celebrate Christmas together but you'll just have to have your own little Christmas between then and New Year.

Like you say you have years and years of Christmas together in the furture.

x
 
I have this dilemma every year with Jon and his family, because he doesnt live within walking distance I always seem to be spending most of Christmas on the M25 driving from Watford to East London and back :roll:

I think it depends whether you really want to spend Christmas with Tom, i.e more than you want to spend it with your family. I know it's a horrible choice to make, but Tom obviously wants to be with his Nan this Christmas, and you can't do both. Couldnt you go over to Toms on Christmas day and then drive opp North on Boxing day? Kind of make the best of both options? :?
 
naddyz said:
aw babs, that is a dilemma.

How about you arrange to have christmas separately as it's really important for both of you to be with your families, but then use your imaginations (I'm pretty sure you've got those!) to have another day you call christmas with just the two of you and maybe some other friends/family. Have turkey, crackers, presents, egg nog, charades, rent xmas family movies, extra presents, the works (you can get all that stuff really cheaply after xmas anyway!)

Then you get to be with your families AND get to have 2 christmas's
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Yeah it's couldn't be worse timing (this is payback time for me being the Christmas fairy on Friday and having a go at people who weren't embracing the festive spirit :oops: ;) )

I was thinking of doing something like that, I can see me and Tom will be 18 stone in the New Year after all these 'Christmas's' 8O
 
KarlosHx said:
I think for this year that the only option you have is to spend Christmas seperately as you both need to be with your family and your family will need you around with your Grandad and Toms Gran not being so well. Tom and you can still celebrate Christmas together but you'll just have to have your own little Christmas between then and New Year.

Like you say you have years and years of Christmas together in the furture.

x
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What he said.
 
Beckiboo said:
I think it depends whether you really want to spend Christmas with Tom, i.e more than you want to spend it with your family. I know it's a horrible choice to make, but Tom obviously wants to be with his Nan this Christmas, and you can't do both. Couldnt you go over to Toms on Christmas day and then drive opp North on Boxing day? Kind of make the best of both options? :?
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I want to be with them both tho, I know that if I didn't spend Christmas with my gran and grandad and then they're weren't here next year then I'd never forgive myself, they sooooo look forward to their sophisticated :lol: Fancy London Towner :lol: granddaughter coming home :lol:

I said to Tom, 'I know why don't I cook for everyone' to which Tom asked me 'how would I start stuffing a bird when I can't even use the cooker' :? :lol:
 
Barbie said:
naddyz said:
aw babs, that is a dilemma.

How about you arrange to have christmas separately as it's really important for both of you to be with your families, but then use your imaginations (I'm pretty sure you've got those!) to have another day you call christmas with just the two of you and maybe some other friends/family. Have turkey, crackers, presents, egg nog, charades, rent xmas family movies, extra presents, the works (you can get all that stuff really cheaply after xmas anyway!)

Then you get to be with your families AND get to have 2 christmas's
Click to expand...

Yeah it's couldn't be worse timing (this is payback time for me being the Christmas fairy on Friday and having a go at people who weren't embracing the festive spirit :oops: ;) )

I was thinking of doing something like that, I can see me and Tom will be 18 stone in the New Year after all these 'Christmas's' 8O
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Then you would only need another 10 stone and you will look like me :cry: Sorry feeling very sorry formyself today. Im really sorry to hear your dilema barbie i cant porvide any advice but i hope it works out whatever decision you make !!!

What you need to do is rent a tom look a like :lol:
 
I will go seperatelly, I see its important for both of you to be with you own familys. So as you got all the rest of Christmas to be together I think I will do it seperatelly. Think that if not you probably regret it in the future and it seems to be very important to your familys and for yourselfs to be together. You seem to get to the point that you think the only solution is to do it for separate, even so it hurts. You got all the time of the world to be together.
Cheer up, kisses
 
How long is the drive up to Scunnie? Could you spend Christmas morning at Toms and then drive to yours in the evening? there's always the risk then that you get caught in traffic and end up spending the day on the M1 though :roll: :lol:

I think your only hope Babs is to spend it apart, you and Tom will have LOADS more Christmas's to minx about with eachother, I'd spend this years with your families, especially after the year your Grandparents' have had.
 
Horrible dilemma babe. Unless you can fit a lot of people at yours and do everything via M&S food wise (which is only heating everything up - its already prepared!) then you should go your separate ways for Christmas Day.

Why dont you and Tom have a special Christmas Day together on Christmas Eve? That way you get to see everyone and still spend "your day" together....

Hope it all goes well....... xx
 
Barbie said:
Do we just think that this is one Christmas that we're not going to be spending together (and we'll have lots together in the future) and spend this years with our respective families and then Tom can drive up north after Christmas and we spend time together then :?
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Aww, what a horrid choice to have to make - but I think what you've suggested is the only thing you can do in the circumstances. Xmas Day and Boxing Day will fly by and it'll mean a lot to your respective families to have you both with them.
 
Buckley said:
KarlosHx said:
I think for this year that the only option you have is to spend Christmas seperately as you both need to be with your family and your family will need you around with your Grandad and Toms Gran not being so well. Tom and you can still celebrate Christmas together but you'll just have to have your own little Christmas between then and New Year.

Like you say you have years and years of Christmas together in the furture.

x
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What he said.
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ditto - think this be the definitive response babs. go your separate ways and enjoy each other's company more when you meet up.
 
Ooo a hard one although id actually spend xmas day with Toms family and see his gran as this is after all her last xmas :cry: and then drive up to scunny on xmas night in time for tea with the rest of the family.

Im sure what ever you decide it will be the right decision though babe :D
 
Yeah you're all right (you can't beat Spotlight for grown-up sensible advice :lol: ;) ) I spose we just have to view it as one day apart in the whole scheme of things, our respective families will both really appreciate us been with them and I'm sure there'll plenty of minxy time for me and Tom over the rest of Christmas/New Year.

Thanks for the grown-up advice peeps, me and Tom have been tearing our hair about what's the 'right' thing to do.
 
mambobirdette said:
Ooo a hard one although id actually spend xmas day with Toms family and see his gran as this is after all her last xmas :cry: and then drive up to scunny on xmas night in time for tea with the rest of the family.
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If my Grandad hadn't been so ill that's what I'd have done without a doubt but at times we didn't think he'd be here this Christmas so that's why I really feel like I want to spend some time with my family :?
 
Barbie said:
If my Grandad hadn't been so ill that's what I'd have done without a doubt but at times we didn't think he'd be here this Christmas so that's why I really feel like I want to spend some time with my family :?
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Aaaaw then i guess you have to do whats best and spend this year apart but as the others say you can always just have xmas eve as your xmas instead. I know it wont be the same but you have to do whats best all round, hard thou :(
 
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