Friend's dilema

S

silvia

New Member
OK, I'll try to make it clear in english...

Pep's best-friend is invited to the wedding as the best-man with her girlfriend of a year and a half.
We have also invited his ex-girlfriend (11 years together so we know her of a long time ago and actually is a very good personal friend of mine) and her husband (she is getting married in a couple of months)
We knew it wouldn't be the ideal situation for none of them, but she was aboslutly pleased to come and she expected to be a good start to normalise the situation. The surprise came with the best-man and girlfriend knew the other girl was coming, their first impuls was to say that they are not coming 8O they are doing the drama of the year and they are even slightly menacing that if the ex-gf is coming they will just be in the ceremony and leave afterwards :roll: 8O :?
This reaction in my book is the reaction of a selfish and childish friend and Pep is really disappointed and annoyed with the situation. We can't understand the big drama and how is it that it's more important the presence of the ex-gf than his best friend wedding.
We think it's not us who should resolve the situation cos it's them who has the problem but it looks that they are not up to low down their tone. And we neither want to call the ex-girlfriend and tell her you are finally not coming because your ex-boyfriend
How would you deal with this? We feel like we have nothing to win and everything to loose :(


(hope it's clear)
 
we had this at our wedding with friends who had had relationships or family members who didn't get along.

we made it clear (literally by telling the people involved) that this was our special day and our moment and that we wanted them to be there. if they didn't want to go or made a drama then that was their problem and they would miss out on the day.

therefore, they knew we were not going to be mediator and that either they came and enjoyed the day and behaved or they didn't come and missed out.


in the end, everyone came and got along fine.:D
 
Silv it's yours and Peps day, you can invite whoever you want, and your Friends will just have to be grown up and accept that.
 
grego said:
we had this at our wedding with friends who had had relationships or family members who didn't get along.

we made it clear (literally by telling the people involved) that this was our special day and our moment and that we wanted them to be there. if they didn't want to go or made a drama then that was their problem and they would miss out on the day.

therefore, they knew we were not going to be mediator and that either they came and enjoyed the day and behaved or they didn't come and missed out.


in the end, everyone came and got along fine.:D
Click to expand...

What he said......... Its your day and people should put differences aside if they are your true friends and not cause tension on your special day.
 
As everyone has said Sil, this is yours and Pep's day and if people are going to behave like this and risk spoiling it for you, then I would question whether I would want them there.

You are doing nothing wrong by inviting the ex-girlfriend, it is entirely up to you who you want to be there and they are completely out of order by saying they won't come and putting you in an uncomfortable situation.
 
grego said:
we had this at our wedding with friends who had had relationships or family members who didn't get along.

we made it clear (literally by telling the people involved) that this was our special day and our moment and that we wanted them to be there. if they didn't want to go or made a drama then that was their problem and they would miss out on the day.

therefore, they knew we were not going to be mediator and that either they came and enjoyed the day and behaved or they didn't come and missed out.


in the end, everyone came and got along fine.:D
Click to expand...

I agree too - they are being very selfish and childish about it. If they dont come its their loss missing out on your lovely day.
 
Thanks everyone.
For a moment we thought we were the "bad ones" by inviting her. The problem is that he is making note he is pep's bestfriend and he has a kind of priority in the wedding and if someone should be left out it's her, but it's him he has the problem and very serious, btw :?
If it was one of my bestfriends I'd be very very disappointed :(
 
silvia said:
Thanks everyone.
For a moment we thought we were the "bad ones" by inviting her. The problem is that he is making note he is pep's bestfriend and he has a kind of priority in the wedding and if someone should be left out it's her, but it's him he has the problem and very serious, btw :?
If it was one of my bestfriends I'd be very very disappointed :(
Click to expand...

It's YOUR day so you are entitled to invite whoever you want and don't forget that missy ;)
 
silvia said:
Thanks everyone.
For a moment we thought we were the "bad ones" by inviting her. The problem is that he is making note he is pep's bestfriend and he has a kind of priority in the wedding and if someone should be left out it's her, but it's him he has the problem and very serious, btw :?
If it was one of my bestfriends I'd be very very disappointed :(
Click to expand...

Perhaps its actually his new gf who has the underlying problem with the fact his ex love is going to be there.

Just a thought.
 
Barbie said:
It's YOUR day so you are entitled to invite whoever you want and don't forget that missy ;)
Click to expand...


THat's what we keep saying ;)
We knew it wouldn't be the ideal situation for none of them and we totally understand it and we would sympathise with them, but we just can't put up with all the drama, with the new girlfriend being a stroppy lady saying I'm not going - I'm not going and him trying to make Pep feel guilty :roll: :?
 
silvia said:
THat's what we keep saying ;)
We knew it wouldn't be the ideal situation for none of them and we totally understand it and we would sympathise with them, but we just can't put up with all the drama, with the new girlfriend being a stroppy lady saying I'm not going - I'm not going and him trying to make Pep feel guilty :roll: :?
Click to expand...

yes I thought it might be the new gf who had a problem............
very unfair of her to say all that to him
 
grrr really selfish people like this annoy the hell out of me.

the missus and I went to the wedding of one of my best friends and my ex girlfriend recently. That could have ended in tears, but of course were all v happy with where we are now, so its not a problem.
 
agentundercover said:
grrr really selfish people like this annoy the hell out of me.

the missus and I went to the wedding of one of my best friends and my ex girlfriend recently. That could have ended in tears, but of course were all v happy with where we are now, so its not a problem.
Click to expand...


This is how we see it and this is how most people see it except them :?


Thanks everyone, after spending three hours talking in circles about it with the new girlfriend for a moment I thought we shouldn't invite the other one ;)
 
i agree with all of the above, if pep's friend cant hack going because his ex will be there then thats his problem and he will have to live with his conscience. i had to swallow my pride and go to a mate's wedding when i knew my ex would be there and while i wasnt exactly looking forward to it, it had to be done.
 
wedding

I agree with all of the above. Let them know you will be disappointed but the best day of your life will go on without them. Don't feel guilty about it, it is your wedding and friends if they are good friends should do everything in their power to make it a joyous occasions for both of you. Pep's friend and girlfriend are being childish.:spank:
 
There are times in life when you must put other people's feeling first no matter how difficult it is.

A Wedding Day is an example of this.

As is oral sex.

If they don't appreciate the difficult situation that they're putting you and Pep under, then i wouldn't waste your breath explaining it.

If they can't put their issues aside for one day, then they don't deserve to share the day with you.
 
friends

MARKB said:
There are times in life when you must put other people's feeling first no matter how difficult it is.

A Wedding Day is an example of this.

As is oral sex.

If they don't appreciate the difficult situation that they're putting you and Pep under, then i wouldn't waste your breath explaining it.

If they can't put their issues aside for one day, then they don't deserve to share the day with you.
Click to expand...
classic will use this:D :D 8)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top