So my trip to beefa last year really changed me.
Within three months I had quit my good city job to play poker on the internet.
And it had been a tough year but I had got through.
Moved on and along with lots of things in my life and really wanted to go back to the island to get some perspective on it all.
But the season drifted on and it seemed less and less likely.
So when Sean, one of my closest friend’s little brother, says he and his mates are going for a week mid September and that he cant believe he is gonna be in Ibiza and I aint I make plans for a little weekend.
The plan
Arrive midnight Saturday.
Drop bag at Es Vive.
Go groovin with Sean and his mates (staying in san an which I definitely wasn’t doing)
Go back to es Vive.
Catch some rays
Check into hotel room
Go to space
Proppa groove it
Bed
Home
Bed
Then I realised that it was Manumission closing on the Monday. I was gonna have to stay for that coz I still hadn’t been to one and its an Ibiza legendry night, gotta do it once.
Plans sometimes work out
Sometimes they do not
The plan
Arrive midnight Saturday.
Drop bag at Es Vive.
The reality
Home…. End of street on foot. Bus to Croydon. 30 minutes. All going to plan.
Train from Croydon to Gatwick
Gatwick to Barcelona.
All going to plan
Go to gate for connection and run into Graham Lloyd the dj… who I know…
Am very excited and chat with him and his mates as we wait to board
Then has luck would have it I get sat next a very pretty young lady and we chat merrily and excitedly about the carnage that will surely follow.
But the plane starts rumbling, banking, swooping, rattling and lightening and sparks are all over the outside in an alarming fashion.
I am terrified. I don’t like flying at the best of time and this is really upsetting me. Good looking girl is a real sweetie and does a good attempt at settling me down
We finally land after a couple of attempts and it turns out that we have landed in one of beefas worse storms ever.
I get a taxi to Es Vive, drop my bag ….
The plan
Go groovin with Sean and his mates
The reality
It’s really raining now. Really really raining.
I get in a taxi with a lovely couple from es Vive… she was Scottish, he Dutch. They were off to el Devino so I jump out there and walk over to Pacha
Oh boy….
Those canal things that you normally think “what the funk these things” are now flowing torrents next to the roads… But with an overwhelming stench of sewage.
The thrill in my belly is starting to get going and I am not exactly enthralled by the circumstance.
I get into the club and almost immediately run into some of Sean's mates.
They had got the first taxi and Sean would be in the next one which coz of the conditions on the roads would take two hours. Still had a good boogy in the meantime. Sean turns up with his normal immense energy and immediately lifts all spirits. We all groove good and I distinctly remember losing it in the funky room at some point. Don’t know what choon it was but one after I lost it was “Good Love” by Incognito. Just groovy. I even managed to blank out the fact that the bar staff were breathtakingly rude to me whenever I indulged in one of those 12 Euro little bottles of water. I also am trying to ignore the fact that it is raining lions and wolves outside.
Still not a million miles off plan.
The storm is gonna end soon right. Its gonna be sunshine tastic before you can say “too much rain” right?
The plan
Go back to es Vive.
Catch some rays
Check into hotel room
The reality
Sean and posse leave and I decide to dance on until the end
I am in no rush
I go to the entrance and it is unbelievable. There are about 200 people huddled under the entrance awning and its really raining. Now in blighty we get rain. A lot of rain. Sometimes we get driving hardcore rain. But it is always in drop form. Lots of drops sometimes semi frozen … pelting you with an annoying sense of mocking. But this was very different. This was driving hardcore rain and it was coming down in sheets. Not drops.. sheets.
So as taxi’s pull up and take peeps away I am in no really hurry and chat to some peeps from blightly under the awning.
Then at 7 the bouncers get out of hand and basically push over a thousand people into the driving rain with no transport and no shelter. Most start making a run for it. But it gets really tricky really quickly. By the time I get to the roundabout beyond Pacha the water is no longer on the ground in scarily large puddles…. It is in fact now a swirling whirlpool that takes me up to my thighs… there are things in the water. Streaks of petrol, debris and stuff. At one point I see what looks to me like a really bad situation floating along… it looks like a dead rat embedded in a mush of poo and loo roll… but hey I was mashed, it was dark and really raining and it could have been a lump of wood. I was not however prepared to dive into the torrent and doggie paddle across the intersection to either confirm or not my suspicions. How has my late summer beefa weekend somehow got me to New Orleans?
It takes an age to get to es Vive on foot and I am really wet and very cold. I get my bag from reception and change in to a tracksuit bottoms and a dry t shirt… and into the Experience bar for a some chilling and chatting… its got its usually lovely late night mashers vibe and I enjoy the social buzz and forget about the rain and the 4 hours wait until my room is ready… no rays no bed… not such a good plan now.
The bar closes at 9 and all the mashed up peeps saunter into reception… I stupidly turn down an invite to a nearby apartment for some reefers and that. I have just read that Allen Carr book and I don’t want to be tempted by the tobacco thing.
There were these three blokes and a bird left and me…. Two of this group were very obnoxious and had been insulting people and being fairly OTT and not very… clubberlike…. And it becomes apparent that they are not es Vive guests…. Just some sort of dodgy party crashers.
So everyone else has drifted away…. I wish I had a room to go to….
I should really have paid attention more coz the dudes were getting very worrying…. Things should have set alarm bells ringing …. Things like “I aint pulled so I think I need to find some one to smack about” or the fact that they were in their forties but acted like they were 12…. Or the West Ham tattoos…. All things that made sense later….
One of these bozos then pulls my tracksuit bottoms down and starts with “why have you got cheese all around your bellend” I am like “how old are you funking idiot”. None of this is planned. He tries to pull em down again and I back away toward the stairs… I give it the old “do that again and I am gonna smack you” as soon as those words tumble from my lips I get a severe sinking feeling and think “oops think I am out of my depth here” the third, and up until now quietest of the posse now steps forward and grabs hold of me and “says you are gonna get really hurt now” the bozo with the tracksuit bottom pulling down trick then slaps me across the face with his leather sandal a number of times…. I am like “oi oi oi” and then it was just …. Well just a fairly long period lying on the stairs being punched in the face and head …. Thinking “blimey I could do without this off my face… hurricane Eisvissa outside and being battered round the head by a group of the UK’s finest.” I was also shouting a lot “heeeeeeeeeeeellllppp some one call the furkinggggggggg pooooooooolice” that kinda thing…. Finally the big old bartender is pulling them off me long enough for me to get to the top of the stairs… the thug that looked like Barney Rubble seems to be attempting a pursuit so I run to the end of the corridor and …. Wait …. Then I slowly walk back to find Jason, the es Vive owner coming down looking very concerned…. I tell him what has happened and he is mortified and extremely apologetic…. Es Vive then becomes that warm friendly place again as the receptionist, the bargal and the cleaner fuss over me…. Supplying me with plenty of ice, sugary tea and that red stuff that your mum put on your grazes when you was a kid….
I have two black eyes… chip monk tastic cheeks… a badly bruised and possible broken nose … a fairly nasty gash under my left eye…. a cut lip… and some pretty deep grazes on my left leg and shoulder….
Not plan by any means.
The Plan
Catch some rays
Check into hotel room
The reality
No rays.. but do get a room which is clearly an upgrade from what I booked…. Bless em
I did phone my little sister back in blighty at this point and I guess I wish I hadn’t …. Caused some concern !
I get a few hours kip and then decide not to spend the day in casualty and police stations and just to get on with groovin things. Deal with bad things when I get back home….
The Plan
Go to space
Proppa groove it
The reality
My thrills, that I forgot to hide were taken by the goon on the door.
Its cold and raining all over the terrace…. My oh my…
… a couple of hours later I am cold and wet …. I cant find my mates…. Or that pretty girl from the plain who was gonna be here…. And four of those achieved "thrills" have done nothing but got rid of that dull horrible headache I had had….
I was pretty unhappy to be honest…. And actually just really wanted to be at home…
During this period I am sure I ran across the queen of this board and her posse a couple of times…. I did seriously consider going up and saying hi…. But thought it best not to…. Whilst I am sure if I had done so had I been on form would have prolly been ok… most people seem to get that I am a nutter but not a scary one fairly quickly … didn’t think that I could handle being shouted at or dissed at this point plus I wouldn’t like to be accosted by Billy Battered at space either.
I was gonna give up on Space this day… it was 5 or 6 now and it was getting full but the sun was making a bit of a late comeback…. Got chatting to this lovely ginger geezer from blighty who was totally off his face… told him how well my holiday had been going and he forced me to take a present from him and come have a boogy with his mates…. They were all twisted ballistic and I knew I would be soon too…
Coming up like a trooper I go into the main indoor room and install myself on the big leather sofa… I know I aint gonna groove today so I settle in for chatting and people watching… after about 5 hours and as many more thrills later I had to stop giving the full sob story to peeps …. I just couldn’t handle anymore sympathy "presents" and anyway I wasn’t in a moping mood anymore…. I was trashed…. My face was numb which was a really good thing…. And I had some terrific conversations with loads lovely peeps…
Special mention has gotta go to Leroy, a lovely chef from Nottingham and his missus (Eva I think) … and to Caroline the Glaswegian and her massive posse… them lot were well cool… and definitely also to Charlotte, the very hot nurse from Islington.
Sean turns up at midnight clearly not understanding the concept of a day club! But was good to see him and we have a chat and a groove…
Fatboyslim is on and so me and da sofa posse now numbering close to 30 and made up of several original groups tries to get a look in…. but it is PACKED in the Xbox terrace… and its terribly agro… we give up and go into the driving hard beats room for the last few hours…
I go back to Es Vive at about 5 and groove armada are on in a packed Experience Bar which I do not fancy in the slightest so go to bed and have a delicious long sleep…
Not as planned but not terrible in the end
The Plan
Wake up at least after midday
Have some food poolside…
Saunter into town and have a few drinks at the bar Zuka with Mark et al.
Get ready for Manumission.
The Reality
Wake up at half twelve
Have some food poolside…
Chat to some cool peeps … esVive kinda peeps
Saunter into town and have a few drinks at the bar Zuka with Mark et al.
Get ready for Manumission.
Well if something going to plan surprised you think what it did to me…
I hang around chatting to this Brazilian couple at the bar who invite me back to the apartment
suddenly as if by total magic i discover a bag of thrill in powder form in my pocket
There is enough there for six or seven dabs…
I go to my room to drop off my phone etc… and I think funk I cant be funked with rattling bits of powder in bits of plastic and harsh tasting dabs and that….
So I bosh the lot and off I go….
Privilege….
The expectation
I don’t know why but my perception of Manumission was that it’d be dark and interesting. A place to be freaked out…. adventure…
The Reality
I was rushing as full on as an infantry battalion in the cab and by the time I got there I was in orbit.
I bumped into one of Graham’s mates at the door who I shocked by my altered appearance. I couldn’t be funked explaining it again ….
In I go….. HELLO…. Whats this….. yeah yeah yeah…
It was scrummy… light airy club …. And yummy choons…. This place was fantastic…. This was as old school as the whirly gig…. Loads of boshers from blighty …. Loads of nippers …. Mostly nippers…god bless em and their rosy cheeks….
I was not expecting this but I was just delighted…. Row upon haphazard row of boshed up brits doing “I feel like chicken tonight” and all my other favourite old skool moves…
Fan-funking-tastic …. I am gonna get me some of dis…
Into the crowd from some proppa groovin… and r-r-rushing… I am totally off my head now and still going higher…. Oh wow…. I aint seen scenes like this since ClubUK way way back in the day….
If someone bumps into you there is no agro…. Both you and they just give it “sorry mate”…. No one else can do clubbing like this… this is what makes UK clubbers the best IMO…. I was so not expecting this ….
At one point I was at the front by the pool directly in front of the dj booth…. The dance floor had given away to a massive sheet of corrugated iron and there was me and about 100 peeps just bouncing on it…. It wasn’t as bouncy as say a trampoline but it gave enough for there to be a communal bounce going on…. Just terrific…
I loved the crazy things they would periodically do …. Like the man in the bubble or the dude suspended from the ceiling in a tuxedo playing the violin….
Flying .,… the hours slipped by…. Oh yeah…. Still totally mashed…. Still actually coming up I think… I was even too mashed to hold down a conversation with peeps who tried to talk to me during breakdown in the choons…
I had been retrospecting about things all weekend… about my life and where I was going and what I was doing and I was pretty happy with myself and this last year really…. I really have wanted to stop smoking… really really wanted to… desperately… I smoked between 20 and 40 tabs a day pretty much everyday for the last 15 years…. And I just couldn’t stop…. So I read the Allen Carr book and it had really struck a chord inside me… I still hadn’t smoked a single tab despite all the madness and all the carnage… then my moment of revelation…
In his book Allen Carr says “the moment of revelation usually takes place about 3 weeks after a smoker stops. The sky appears to become brighter, and it is the moment when the brainwashing ends completely, when, instead of telling yourself you do not need to smoke, you suddenly realise that the last thread is broken and you can enjoy the rest of your life without ever needing to smoke again.”
I really have never felt happier… Fischerspooner were just in front of me belting out a number that must have been called “everyone makes mistakes” and I was just grooving and so smillin… loving it … loving their madness and the weird weird dancin that the manumission gals were up to… I was never ever gonna smoke again… I was delighted… I am free….
Someone taps on my shoulder and I turn around to face a smiling bird from blighty offering me fag… brilliant.. I just grin and say “no thanks I don’t smoke”…. Over the next hour it seems like everyone there is trying to test me coz peeps are just grinning at me and offering me fags….
Ibiza always seems to give me what I need whatever is planned….
So I go back to esVive and I am still really wrecked…. I lie on my bed wide awake for ages and then think I may as well go to space for the carry on until its time for flight…
I go to check out and the lovely receptionist tells me that actually they owe me money!!!
My room is on the house and they are refunding my deposit to my credit card…. I nearly cried …. Bless em… I do love esVive… it wasn’t their fault but what a lovely gesture….
Off to space and the blighty boshers are still having it in the inside room and on the terrace….restored my faith in humanity that did…I groove for a couple of hours to delicious summer beats on the terrace…. Just grinning and observing the smokers…. Whenever I quit before I used to be so envious of smokers but now I just felt terrible pity for them….
I was getting very tired so I went back to esVive and tried to eat some food…
Jason, the owner, came over and I obviously thanked him for the freebie room… he gave me a hug and apologised again and again… bless em… and invited me for a weekend on the house next summer!!! Bless…
So off to the airport and the 3 hours in Barcelona airport was a bit horrible but I was ok… then back to Gatwick….
And finally home…
It wasn’t the weekend away I expected or planned but it turned out to be just what I needed to sort my head out for another year….
Bring on next year…. Manumission is gonna be the main event for me… but hey things might not go according to plan.
Within three months I had quit my good city job to play poker on the internet.
And it had been a tough year but I had got through.
Moved on and along with lots of things in my life and really wanted to go back to the island to get some perspective on it all.
But the season drifted on and it seemed less and less likely.
So when Sean, one of my closest friend’s little brother, says he and his mates are going for a week mid September and that he cant believe he is gonna be in Ibiza and I aint I make plans for a little weekend.
The plan
Arrive midnight Saturday.
Drop bag at Es Vive.
Go groovin with Sean and his mates (staying in san an which I definitely wasn’t doing)
Go back to es Vive.
Catch some rays
Check into hotel room
Go to space
Proppa groove it
Bed
Home
Bed
Then I realised that it was Manumission closing on the Monday. I was gonna have to stay for that coz I still hadn’t been to one and its an Ibiza legendry night, gotta do it once.
Plans sometimes work out
Sometimes they do not
The plan
Arrive midnight Saturday.
Drop bag at Es Vive.
The reality
Home…. End of street on foot. Bus to Croydon. 30 minutes. All going to plan.
Train from Croydon to Gatwick
Gatwick to Barcelona.
All going to plan
Go to gate for connection and run into Graham Lloyd the dj… who I know…
Am very excited and chat with him and his mates as we wait to board
Then has luck would have it I get sat next a very pretty young lady and we chat merrily and excitedly about the carnage that will surely follow.
But the plane starts rumbling, banking, swooping, rattling and lightening and sparks are all over the outside in an alarming fashion.
I am terrified. I don’t like flying at the best of time and this is really upsetting me. Good looking girl is a real sweetie and does a good attempt at settling me down
We finally land after a couple of attempts and it turns out that we have landed in one of beefas worse storms ever.
I get a taxi to Es Vive, drop my bag ….
The plan
Go groovin with Sean and his mates
The reality
It’s really raining now. Really really raining.
I get in a taxi with a lovely couple from es Vive… she was Scottish, he Dutch. They were off to el Devino so I jump out there and walk over to Pacha
Oh boy….
Those canal things that you normally think “what the funk these things” are now flowing torrents next to the roads… But with an overwhelming stench of sewage.
The thrill in my belly is starting to get going and I am not exactly enthralled by the circumstance.
I get into the club and almost immediately run into some of Sean's mates.
They had got the first taxi and Sean would be in the next one which coz of the conditions on the roads would take two hours. Still had a good boogy in the meantime. Sean turns up with his normal immense energy and immediately lifts all spirits. We all groove good and I distinctly remember losing it in the funky room at some point. Don’t know what choon it was but one after I lost it was “Good Love” by Incognito. Just groovy. I even managed to blank out the fact that the bar staff were breathtakingly rude to me whenever I indulged in one of those 12 Euro little bottles of water. I also am trying to ignore the fact that it is raining lions and wolves outside.
Still not a million miles off plan.
The storm is gonna end soon right. Its gonna be sunshine tastic before you can say “too much rain” right?
The plan
Go back to es Vive.
Catch some rays
Check into hotel room
The reality
Sean and posse leave and I decide to dance on until the end
I am in no rush
I go to the entrance and it is unbelievable. There are about 200 people huddled under the entrance awning and its really raining. Now in blighty we get rain. A lot of rain. Sometimes we get driving hardcore rain. But it is always in drop form. Lots of drops sometimes semi frozen … pelting you with an annoying sense of mocking. But this was very different. This was driving hardcore rain and it was coming down in sheets. Not drops.. sheets.
So as taxi’s pull up and take peeps away I am in no really hurry and chat to some peeps from blightly under the awning.
Then at 7 the bouncers get out of hand and basically push over a thousand people into the driving rain with no transport and no shelter. Most start making a run for it. But it gets really tricky really quickly. By the time I get to the roundabout beyond Pacha the water is no longer on the ground in scarily large puddles…. It is in fact now a swirling whirlpool that takes me up to my thighs… there are things in the water. Streaks of petrol, debris and stuff. At one point I see what looks to me like a really bad situation floating along… it looks like a dead rat embedded in a mush of poo and loo roll… but hey I was mashed, it was dark and really raining and it could have been a lump of wood. I was not however prepared to dive into the torrent and doggie paddle across the intersection to either confirm or not my suspicions. How has my late summer beefa weekend somehow got me to New Orleans?
It takes an age to get to es Vive on foot and I am really wet and very cold. I get my bag from reception and change in to a tracksuit bottoms and a dry t shirt… and into the Experience bar for a some chilling and chatting… its got its usually lovely late night mashers vibe and I enjoy the social buzz and forget about the rain and the 4 hours wait until my room is ready… no rays no bed… not such a good plan now.
The bar closes at 9 and all the mashed up peeps saunter into reception… I stupidly turn down an invite to a nearby apartment for some reefers and that. I have just read that Allen Carr book and I don’t want to be tempted by the tobacco thing.
There were these three blokes and a bird left and me…. Two of this group were very obnoxious and had been insulting people and being fairly OTT and not very… clubberlike…. And it becomes apparent that they are not es Vive guests…. Just some sort of dodgy party crashers.
So everyone else has drifted away…. I wish I had a room to go to….
I should really have paid attention more coz the dudes were getting very worrying…. Things should have set alarm bells ringing …. Things like “I aint pulled so I think I need to find some one to smack about” or the fact that they were in their forties but acted like they were 12…. Or the West Ham tattoos…. All things that made sense later….
One of these bozos then pulls my tracksuit bottoms down and starts with “why have you got cheese all around your bellend” I am like “how old are you funking idiot”. None of this is planned. He tries to pull em down again and I back away toward the stairs… I give it the old “do that again and I am gonna smack you” as soon as those words tumble from my lips I get a severe sinking feeling and think “oops think I am out of my depth here” the third, and up until now quietest of the posse now steps forward and grabs hold of me and “says you are gonna get really hurt now” the bozo with the tracksuit bottom pulling down trick then slaps me across the face with his leather sandal a number of times…. I am like “oi oi oi” and then it was just …. Well just a fairly long period lying on the stairs being punched in the face and head …. Thinking “blimey I could do without this off my face… hurricane Eisvissa outside and being battered round the head by a group of the UK’s finest.” I was also shouting a lot “heeeeeeeeeeeellllppp some one call the furkinggggggggg pooooooooolice” that kinda thing…. Finally the big old bartender is pulling them off me long enough for me to get to the top of the stairs… the thug that looked like Barney Rubble seems to be attempting a pursuit so I run to the end of the corridor and …. Wait …. Then I slowly walk back to find Jason, the es Vive owner coming down looking very concerned…. I tell him what has happened and he is mortified and extremely apologetic…. Es Vive then becomes that warm friendly place again as the receptionist, the bargal and the cleaner fuss over me…. Supplying me with plenty of ice, sugary tea and that red stuff that your mum put on your grazes when you was a kid….
I have two black eyes… chip monk tastic cheeks… a badly bruised and possible broken nose … a fairly nasty gash under my left eye…. a cut lip… and some pretty deep grazes on my left leg and shoulder….
Not plan by any means.
The Plan
Catch some rays
Check into hotel room
The reality
No rays.. but do get a room which is clearly an upgrade from what I booked…. Bless em
I did phone my little sister back in blighty at this point and I guess I wish I hadn’t …. Caused some concern !
I get a few hours kip and then decide not to spend the day in casualty and police stations and just to get on with groovin things. Deal with bad things when I get back home….
The Plan
Go to space
Proppa groove it
The reality
My thrills, that I forgot to hide were taken by the goon on the door.
Its cold and raining all over the terrace…. My oh my…
… a couple of hours later I am cold and wet …. I cant find my mates…. Or that pretty girl from the plain who was gonna be here…. And four of those achieved "thrills" have done nothing but got rid of that dull horrible headache I had had….
I was pretty unhappy to be honest…. And actually just really wanted to be at home…
During this period I am sure I ran across the queen of this board and her posse a couple of times…. I did seriously consider going up and saying hi…. But thought it best not to…. Whilst I am sure if I had done so had I been on form would have prolly been ok… most people seem to get that I am a nutter but not a scary one fairly quickly … didn’t think that I could handle being shouted at or dissed at this point plus I wouldn’t like to be accosted by Billy Battered at space either.
I was gonna give up on Space this day… it was 5 or 6 now and it was getting full but the sun was making a bit of a late comeback…. Got chatting to this lovely ginger geezer from blighty who was totally off his face… told him how well my holiday had been going and he forced me to take a present from him and come have a boogy with his mates…. They were all twisted ballistic and I knew I would be soon too…
Coming up like a trooper I go into the main indoor room and install myself on the big leather sofa… I know I aint gonna groove today so I settle in for chatting and people watching… after about 5 hours and as many more thrills later I had to stop giving the full sob story to peeps …. I just couldn’t handle anymore sympathy "presents" and anyway I wasn’t in a moping mood anymore…. I was trashed…. My face was numb which was a really good thing…. And I had some terrific conversations with loads lovely peeps…
Special mention has gotta go to Leroy, a lovely chef from Nottingham and his missus (Eva I think) … and to Caroline the Glaswegian and her massive posse… them lot were well cool… and definitely also to Charlotte, the very hot nurse from Islington.
Sean turns up at midnight clearly not understanding the concept of a day club! But was good to see him and we have a chat and a groove…
Fatboyslim is on and so me and da sofa posse now numbering close to 30 and made up of several original groups tries to get a look in…. but it is PACKED in the Xbox terrace… and its terribly agro… we give up and go into the driving hard beats room for the last few hours…
I go back to Es Vive at about 5 and groove armada are on in a packed Experience Bar which I do not fancy in the slightest so go to bed and have a delicious long sleep…
Not as planned but not terrible in the end
The Plan
Wake up at least after midday
Have some food poolside…
Saunter into town and have a few drinks at the bar Zuka with Mark et al.
Get ready for Manumission.
The Reality
Wake up at half twelve
Have some food poolside…
Chat to some cool peeps … esVive kinda peeps
Saunter into town and have a few drinks at the bar Zuka with Mark et al.
Get ready for Manumission.
Well if something going to plan surprised you think what it did to me…
I hang around chatting to this Brazilian couple at the bar who invite me back to the apartment
suddenly as if by total magic i discover a bag of thrill in powder form in my pocket
There is enough there for six or seven dabs…
I go to my room to drop off my phone etc… and I think funk I cant be funked with rattling bits of powder in bits of plastic and harsh tasting dabs and that….
So I bosh the lot and off I go….
Privilege….
The expectation
I don’t know why but my perception of Manumission was that it’d be dark and interesting. A place to be freaked out…. adventure…
The Reality
I was rushing as full on as an infantry battalion in the cab and by the time I got there I was in orbit.
I bumped into one of Graham’s mates at the door who I shocked by my altered appearance. I couldn’t be funked explaining it again ….
In I go….. HELLO…. Whats this….. yeah yeah yeah…
It was scrummy… light airy club …. And yummy choons…. This place was fantastic…. This was as old school as the whirly gig…. Loads of boshers from blighty …. Loads of nippers …. Mostly nippers…god bless em and their rosy cheeks….
I was not expecting this but I was just delighted…. Row upon haphazard row of boshed up brits doing “I feel like chicken tonight” and all my other favourite old skool moves…
Fan-funking-tastic …. I am gonna get me some of dis…
Into the crowd from some proppa groovin… and r-r-rushing… I am totally off my head now and still going higher…. Oh wow…. I aint seen scenes like this since ClubUK way way back in the day….
If someone bumps into you there is no agro…. Both you and they just give it “sorry mate”…. No one else can do clubbing like this… this is what makes UK clubbers the best IMO…. I was so not expecting this ….
At one point I was at the front by the pool directly in front of the dj booth…. The dance floor had given away to a massive sheet of corrugated iron and there was me and about 100 peeps just bouncing on it…. It wasn’t as bouncy as say a trampoline but it gave enough for there to be a communal bounce going on…. Just terrific…
I loved the crazy things they would periodically do …. Like the man in the bubble or the dude suspended from the ceiling in a tuxedo playing the violin….
Flying .,… the hours slipped by…. Oh yeah…. Still totally mashed…. Still actually coming up I think… I was even too mashed to hold down a conversation with peeps who tried to talk to me during breakdown in the choons…
I had been retrospecting about things all weekend… about my life and where I was going and what I was doing and I was pretty happy with myself and this last year really…. I really have wanted to stop smoking… really really wanted to… desperately… I smoked between 20 and 40 tabs a day pretty much everyday for the last 15 years…. And I just couldn’t stop…. So I read the Allen Carr book and it had really struck a chord inside me… I still hadn’t smoked a single tab despite all the madness and all the carnage… then my moment of revelation…
In his book Allen Carr says “the moment of revelation usually takes place about 3 weeks after a smoker stops. The sky appears to become brighter, and it is the moment when the brainwashing ends completely, when, instead of telling yourself you do not need to smoke, you suddenly realise that the last thread is broken and you can enjoy the rest of your life without ever needing to smoke again.”
I really have never felt happier… Fischerspooner were just in front of me belting out a number that must have been called “everyone makes mistakes” and I was just grooving and so smillin… loving it … loving their madness and the weird weird dancin that the manumission gals were up to… I was never ever gonna smoke again… I was delighted… I am free….
Someone taps on my shoulder and I turn around to face a smiling bird from blighty offering me fag… brilliant.. I just grin and say “no thanks I don’t smoke”…. Over the next hour it seems like everyone there is trying to test me coz peeps are just grinning at me and offering me fags….
Ibiza always seems to give me what I need whatever is planned….
So I go back to esVive and I am still really wrecked…. I lie on my bed wide awake for ages and then think I may as well go to space for the carry on until its time for flight…
I go to check out and the lovely receptionist tells me that actually they owe me money!!!
My room is on the house and they are refunding my deposit to my credit card…. I nearly cried …. Bless em… I do love esVive… it wasn’t their fault but what a lovely gesture….
Off to space and the blighty boshers are still having it in the inside room and on the terrace….restored my faith in humanity that did…I groove for a couple of hours to delicious summer beats on the terrace…. Just grinning and observing the smokers…. Whenever I quit before I used to be so envious of smokers but now I just felt terrible pity for them….
I was getting very tired so I went back to esVive and tried to eat some food…
Jason, the owner, came over and I obviously thanked him for the freebie room… he gave me a hug and apologised again and again… bless em… and invited me for a weekend on the house next summer!!! Bless…
So off to the airport and the 3 hours in Barcelona airport was a bit horrible but I was ok… then back to Gatwick….
And finally home…
It wasn’t the weekend away I expected or planned but it turned out to be just what I needed to sort my head out for another year….
Bring on next year…. Manumission is gonna be the main event for me… but hey things might not go according to plan.
