Buckley, Buckley..............
- Thread starter jjinit
- Start date
puppylover
Active Member
here's a joke.....
Two tourists were driving through Wales.
At Llanhyfrydawellhynafolybarcudprindanfygythiadtrienusyhaffy,
they stopped for lunch and asked the waitress
"Before we order can you settle an argument for us? Could you please pronounce where we are .......... very slowly"?
The waitress leaned over and said...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
"Burrrrr - gurrrr- kinnnnnnng!!!"
Two tourists were driving through Wales.
At Llanhyfrydawellhynafolybarcudprindanfygythiadtrienusyhaffy,
they stopped for lunch and asked the waitress
"Before we order can you settle an argument for us? Could you please pronounce where we are .......... very slowly"?
The waitress leaned over and said...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
"Burrrrr - gurrrr- kinnnnnnng!!!"
here you go, a bit lame but...........
Pinocchio was fed up with the recent complaints from his wife. "Every time we make love, I get splinters."
So, Pinocchio went back to his maker, Gipetto the Carpenter, for advice. "Sandpaper," said the carpenter, "that's what you need." So, Pinocchio took the sandpaper home. A few weeks later, the carpenter bumped into Pinocchio again.
"How are you getting along with the girls now?"
"Who needs girls?" replied Pinocchio.
Pinocchio was fed up with the recent complaints from his wife. "Every time we make love, I get splinters."
So, Pinocchio went back to his maker, Gipetto the Carpenter, for advice. "Sandpaper," said the carpenter, "that's what you need." So, Pinocchio took the sandpaper home. A few weeks later, the carpenter bumped into Pinocchio again.
"How are you getting along with the girls now?"
"Who needs girls?" replied Pinocchio.
My fave joke ever!!!
(apologies if you have heard it)
2 tortoises go on a picnic....2 days into the journey one says to the other....fook..ive forgotten the bottle opener......the other one says...i'll wait here...you go back & get it.....the first one says....no way, while im gone you'll start eating all the sandwiches...I wont says the other tortoise. so off he goes.......2 days later the other tortoise gets a bit peckish and thinks sod it and starts eating one of the sandwiches.....at which point the other tortoise appears from behind a rock and says " I fookin knew it....theres no way im going now"
(apologies if you have heard it)
2 tortoises go on a picnic....2 days into the journey one says to the other....fook..ive forgotten the bottle opener......the other one says...i'll wait here...you go back & get it.....the first one says....no way, while im gone you'll start eating all the sandwiches...I wont says the other tortoise. so off he goes.......2 days later the other tortoise gets a bit peckish and thinks sod it and starts eating one of the sandwiches.....at which point the other tortoise appears from behind a rock and says " I fookin knew it....theres no way im going now"
Buckley
Well-Known Member
Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white
stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't
know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did
and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other
zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are
what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black
stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."
"The beige football managers jacket that looks like a hot cross bun from behind please...."
stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't
know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did
and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other
zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are
what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black
stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."
"The beige football managers jacket that looks like a hot cross bun from behind please...."
New to board so hello all. Here's my friday afternoon contribution.......
Three ducks walked into a bar.
"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the
first duck.
"Huey," was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of
puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said
Huey.
"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to
the second duck, "Hi,
and what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.
"So how's your day been, Dewey?" he asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and
out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck
want?"
The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So,
you must be Louie?"
"No," she said, batting her eyelashes. "My name is
Puddles."
Three ducks walked into a bar.
"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the
first duck.
"Huey," was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of
puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said
Huey.
"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to
the second duck, "Hi,
and what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.
"So how's your day been, Dewey?" he asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and
out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck
want?"
The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So,
you must be Louie?"
"No," she said, batting her eyelashes. "My name is
Puddles."
