Clara
Well-Known Member
Ok folks, it's a bit of an epic one. I'll be putting pictures up later today and also be posting a review more on the clubbing with pictures on The Reservoir over the next couple of days. Enjoy!
Friday 27/Saturday 28 August
After a rather interesting flight in the early hours full of drunk Glaswegians, we arrive at our hotel, the Sirenis Jabeque in the Es Vive area between Playa D'en Bossa and Figueretes at about 5am. Initial impressions are that it's a nice apartment, very spacious and well furnished and right on the seafront so there's an incredible view. Sit on the balcony, gazing out to Ibiza Town and realise that we're actually here. It's a very nice feeling.
Have a bit of kip and then head for lunch on one of the pavement cafes just by the sea in Figueretes. Realise how lucky we are with location as it's less frantic than Playa D'en Bossa and rather scenic with the tree-lined promenade. Walk to Bora Bora (which only takes about 20 minutes along the beach from our hotel) and feel like I've come home as Dj Gee is already in full swing.
After a couple of overpriced drinks at The Rock and Zinc in the marina in Ibiza Town (where a barman in Zinc tried to dilute Theo's pint with lemonade!) we head for dinner in La Torretta in D'Alt Villa for old time's sake. Food is absolutely divine and pretty good value for that area. Anyone who hasn't tried it really should, plus there's plenty for veggies which keeps Theo happy. Drink quite a bit and stagger home, rather merry. In my drunken stupor I get rather disorientated and enquire if the bedroom is on a boat. Oh dear.
Sunday 29 August
Wake up with a bit of a hangover and decide to just stay by the hotel pool. Gorgeous views but an awful lot of loud Brits, mainly families too all wearing their England shirts.
On the advice of some people on Ibiza Spotlight (Drew, I think) we head to El Bistro, also in D'Alt Villa for dinner. Very scenic and romantic with excellent food and service as well. Not especially busy and the people sat next to us start discussing having a threesome with one another.
Walk back to the apartments (only takes about 20 minutes which is great) and see Orde Meikle on the phone in Figueretes. Ah, that'll be Slam playing at Circo Loco at DC10 tomorrow then.
Monday 30 August
Sleep in until lunch and head to Bora Bora to get us in the mood for this evening's antics - Cocoon at Amnesia. Once again the music is fantastic until 'Dj Martin Rice' takes over and it goes a bit downhill as he plays trance and Jamiroquai.
Go for a pizza to give us our dancing energy and sit next to some mad Brummie woman who tells the rest of her group about creation which appears to involve a spaceship with the letters 'G.O.D.' on the side. Find it very hard not to burst out laughing.
Head to Cocoon wondering whether Dj Hell will make it third time lucky for me as he's cancelled the past couple of times he was due to play Glasgow so I've never been able to see him despite him being one of the first djs I got into, thanks to his Fuse presents Hell mix. Having emailed the promoter beforehand telling him about my article for The Reservoir, I manage to get in on the guest list which will allow me into the VIP area and be able to take photographs which is nice.
Dj Hell is on right at the start and looks an awful lot older than in recent pictures, so much so that we doubt it's him at first! It's still fairly quiet and as a result, it doesn't really start to have an atmosphere until about 2am. Hell is on for about four hours and in that time, manages to play some of my favourite tracks at the moment (Prototype's 'Rex The Dog' and then into 'Girls' by The Prodigy) although his mixing is a little off at times and he doesn't half look moody. He also plays a cover of Green Velvet's La La Land with some strange female vocal which I shall have to hunt down. The track of the night which gets the biggest cheer though is Alter Ego's 'Rocker'. The crowd go absolutely nuts and the Amnesia dancers come out to strut their stuff. Whilst I normally find them all a little tacky, I have to concede that it does work well. By now it's absolutely rammed in the main room. Notice that there seems to be a lot less Germans compared to last year and far more Spanish girls. At about 4.30am, a very happy looking Sven Vath walks into the dj booth wearing on of those flashing pendants that the looky lookys sell. Hell finishes his set with a remix of Simian's 'Never Be Alone'. Job's a good 'un!
Sven is far better than when I saw him at Cocoon last year. His sets just seems that little bit harder and thankfully, less trancey. He even drops Vitalic's 'La Rock' and I think I'm going to explode. Don't spend much time in the other room apart from to have a sit down as it's pretty quiet (M.A.N.D.Y. playing). Wonder upstairs to take some pictures of the VIP area. Not really that much to write home about and they charge 10 euros for a bottle of water as opposed to 8 downstairs!
It all finishes at 7.30am and as it's just the two of us, we decide against checking out the alleged beach after-party as it seems too much hassle and just crash out.
Tuesday 31 August
Wake up at about 3pm, feeling pretty fuzzy and decide to stay out of the sun. Head for a drink on one of the cafes by the beach in Figueretes. The place seems full of casualties, all with their head in their hands! Have a couple of beers and start to feel a little more human.
Head to Bora Bora in the evening with bottles of San Miguel and smoke in tow. It's really busy, possibly more so than this time last year. This is the real Ibiza - free and full of happy people. Once again, everyone cheers as the planes come in. Where else in the world would that happen?!
Decide to give Carl Cox a miss until next week as it's past the time when you can get in for free (pay? Us?!) but sit in the bar opposite Space and can hear his terrace set which is already pretty banging. He plays 'Strings of Life' which was also Gee's last track at Bora Bora tonight. I feel that this is going to be one of the tunes of the holiday. Rather that than 'Lola's Theme' anyway!
Wednesday 1 September
Once again, sleep until some ridiculous hour. Things do move back here, I suppose. Head down to Bora Bora to work on our tans.
Head to San Antonio to meet a man about a dog. Go to Kanya which is a complete rip-off (4 euros for just over half a pint) so only stay for one.
On recommendation of the Rough Guide and Dj Magazine, head towards San Antonio Bay for food in the form of a place called Casa Thai. Both guides say that it's not much to look at (a bit of a dive) but the food is incredible and as cheap as chips. Sure enough, it does look like the kind of place that you wouldn't look twice at if you didn't realise, but it's packed and at 10.50 euros for three courses and a beer, it'd be rude not too! The food is lovely. Simple and maybe more Chinese than Thai, but still very good. Mr C walks in (wearing a 'We 8 Spurs' T-shirt!) and sits at the table next to us, clearly getting his feed before his night at Underground.
Head to Itica for the Meganite pre-party with Mauro Piccotto. Music isn't bad, although a couple of his early tracks hint at his pre-techno days. Head downstairs and it's pretty busy and a good atmosphere, like a mini club with everyone dancing. He sticks on Alter Ego's 'Rocker' and the place goes nuts - including Theo and myself! He finishes at 1am, so we finish our drinks and get the Disco Bus back to Ibiza Town which is very multi national tonight, probably due to Meganite and La Troya.
Thursday 2 September
Woken up at 11am by maid who's much earlier than normal. Theo shouts to her in Spanish that we'll only be a couple of minutes and she seems annoyed and walks away, muttering to herself. Feel a bit light-headed (that's what Ibiza does to you!) so decide to have a reasonably quiet day at Bora Bora in order to keep our strength up for Craig Richards at Underground tonight. Intrigued and excited about what Underground will be like. That's one of the great things about Ibiza - every time you go, you always seem to discover something new.
My foot starts to hurt at Bora Bora and is throbbing a little. I probably shouldn't go out dancing tonight but Craig Richards is calling me. Drink some red wine to try to forget about the pain and head out.
Arrive at Underground at 12.30pm having had to walk down the scary Ibiza Town - San Antonio road in the pitch darkness from the Privilege stop. It's a gorgeous building, really a converted house surrounded by gardens which are used as a covered bar area. So nice to go somewhere that's free to get into and the drinks aren't too expensive either. Notice that Ivan Smagghe is playing as well. Result! It's pretty quiet at the start but by 2am, it's filling up nicely and people have started to dance. As much as I like Ivan Smagghe's mixes, his set doesn't really go anywhere and seems more designed for listening to when you're sitting down that for going mental on the dancefloor to. However when Craig Richards comes on at about 3am, I just feel the overwhelming urge to shake my thang. My foot is getting sorer and sorer but I just grin and bear it and manage to invent a dance that doesn't involve me putting to much pressure onto the side of my left leg. What must I look like?! The night finishes at 6am and although having passes for What's Up? At Space, we decide just to head back to the apartments, especially as my foot clearly isn't up to it.
Friday 3 September
Wake up in the afternoon and notice straight away how sore my foot has become. I try to walk on it and it's pretty painful and makes me feel all light-headed so I just lie in bed. Theo puts a cold compress on it and it feels lovely so I just assume that it's a bit swollen and the only things for it is to rest and take some aspirin. Go to sleep, hoping that it'll be better when I wake up. It's not. In fact it's much worse and when I tried to walk on it, I throw up. Talk about the comedown from hell! Theo suggests going to the doctors but I still maintain that it's just a little swollen and there's no point in seeing a doctor. Then I realise that I can't actually move my toe and suddenly I get paranoid and think I may have broken it. Nice one. Theo take's the plaster off to see if it gives me more movement and then jumps back in horror and shouts "oh my god!". I wonder what the hell is the matter and then I look down and see it. My foot appears to be trying to recreate the scene from the film Alien. By now, I concede that it's probably best to call a doctor out. Theo goes to reception to order one and whilst one will be with us in 20 minutes, it'll cost 100 euros for the call-out alone. However I don't really have an option, so we book the doctor and by now, I am choking back the tears as I contemplate what I've actually done to it and if that's my holiday ruined.
The doctor is absolutely lovely, although he looks absolutely horrified himself when he sees my foot and asks how on earth I've managed to do that to it. I still don't know myself. He prescribes some seriously strong antibiotics and dresses it. It starts to feel better already and now I know I've done the right thing, even though the total bill comes to 140 euros. I ask how long I need to rest for and he says that whilst I need to stay in tonight (so no Laurent Garnier for me then!) and tomorrow, by Sunday I should feel a lot better and by Monday almost back to normal. So I shall get to go to the ball!
Saturday 4 September
Clearly yesterday's developments have somewhat dashed our plans to hire a car today, so just take it very easy. Walking is still difficult and I hobble along to Figueretes getting odd looks as I go along. I'm not allowed to drink for two days due to the antibiotics so it's Coca-Cola for me today.
Was going to just sit by the hotel pool but as they're playing bloody Robbie Williams, decide to try Es Vive hotel just down the road as it's the Hed Kandi pool party this afternoon and even that would be better than 'Live at Knebsworth'.
I'm actually pretty impressed. The music is more soulful than the Hed Kandi compilations I've heard before with the likes of Soul2Soul and Primal Scream's 'Loaded'. Matt Collins is djing and I'm tempted to go over and say hello and how much I'm enjoying his set but I feel I'll probably frighten him with my hobble. Lovely hotel too and a nice change from the loudmouth Brits and screaming kids at the Jabeque. My bandaged foot and limp doesn't quite fit in with the uber trendy image of the Es Vive and with the rash that's developed down my leg due to the antibiotics, I feel a bit of a leper.
Sunday 5 September
Overcast so decide against Bora Bora. Foot is feeling a lot better and my limp has gone as well. Walk (slowly) along beach to Playa D'en Bossa and see a poster for tomorrow's Manumission with Optimo on it. Get very excited.
Get the taxi boat from Playa D'en Bossa to the Marina in Ibiza Town. I've never travelled on this before and at 3 euros it's a bit of a bargain and far nicer than getting a regular taxi. As it's night time, D'alt Villa is all lit up and looks stunning. Feel quite emotional and realise that I love this island even more than before.
Head to El Pirate on the Marina for a pizza. Sit next to a woman who is the absolute spit of Rebecca Loos (and she has her mobile out on the table!) and then look behind me to see none other than Anthea Turner and Grant Bovey sat at a table in the Mambo bar next door! I wonder if she is off to Space?
Monday 6 September
Despite not being the best weather (light drizzle and overcast - just like Glasgow!) head to Bora Bora. Really looking forward to Manumission tonight which is something I never thought I would say.
Go to the Curry Club in San Antonio for dinner. Absolutely lovely and such a nice setting that you completely forget you're in the heart of San An. It's also my first day of drinking for a while and the Tiger larger tastes truly divine.
Get the Disco Bus to Privilege and head to the guest list entrance round the back, with our fingers crossed that we're on the guestlist. We are! Unfortunately, the bouncer has a metal detector and finds my camera. He's actually really nice about it and as I don't want to hand it in to them, he says that I can keep it on me if I go and hide the battery, so I do. Considered sneaking the battery in as well, but decided against it as he was pretty fair when he didn't even need to be.
Shame I'm not able to take pictures though as the place is incredible. It's my first time at Privilege and my first thought is 'wow'. It's even better and bigger than I could possibly have imagined. It's already absolutely packed so we go for a wonder to get our bearings. The music in the main room is pretty good (Mylo, Daft Punk, Scissor Sisters…) whereas I'd always envisaged that it would be really cheesy. There's also less beerboys as well than I had thought.
We go to one of the bars outside in amongst the trees and get chatting to a couple who it turns out are also staying at the Jabeque. We watch the first 'act' of the show - pretty incredible. I dread to think how long it takes for them to set it all up as the set is amazing - based on the Manumission Motel with all the rooms and plenty of tits as well! Don't catch much else of the show as we're too busy in the Music Box room for Optimo. So surreal seeing them there, when we could catch them every Sunday in Glasgow for £5 and it's probably my favourite night as well back home. Things get off to a bad start when the PA system goes just before they are due to come on but it's fixed and before long they're rocking the place and the crowd seems to love them. Stand chatting with Keith (Dj Twitch) who also gives us a drinks vouchers (free red bull and vodka!). Great set with loads of Optimo classics (Donna Summer's 'I Feel Love', Peaches' 'Rock Show' with Vitalic's 'La Rock', Depeche Mode…) which really suited the overall vibe. They take a break for the band, the Ju Ju Babes to come on. Not too impressed with them, seem like an odd choice to have as residents as it's too laid back and kills the atmosphere a bit making it harder for when Optimo come back on - not helped by the titty show going on in the Coco Loco room next door!
Manage to get passes for the Carry On at Space and as we walk to get a taxi at 8am from Privilege, we know that this is going to be one experience never to forget…
…after a much-needed freshen-up back at our apartments, we head over to Space to get in just before 10am. The theme this week is Carry On Constable, so the whole place is designed like a police station with bars on the walls (which is pretty trippy, I can tell you!) and all the Manumission girls dressed up in police gear. Quite a few casualties there as well but everyone who's stayed on clearly wants to be there so there's no beerboys or posers which is lovely and makes for a superb atmosphere. When Optimo come on at 11am, I feel like I've died and gone to heaven. Honestly, for both myself and Theo, this is our best clubbing experience EVER. Seeing the terrace at Space, my favourite venue, ripped apart by two djs I feel I've grown up with, who we've been hanging about with all night and play some of my favourite tracks of all time (most of which I never thought I'd hear in Ibiza, let alone on the terrace at Space) is just mind blowing. When Twitch played Joy Division's 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' I could feel my eyes welling up - thank goodness for sunglasses! I run over to the middle of the dancefloor, just in front of the dj booth when the mix of 'Rock Show' and 'La Rock' is played again. It's too good! Oh, and hearing Wilkes plays Queens' 'Another One Bites The Dust', The Prodigy's 'Out of Space' (with the Bob Marley original) and Nirvana's Lithium and looking about to see the whole place go bananas, including Mike and Claire and the other Manumission djs who seemed to be loving every minute of it. A couple of the Manumission girls I was speaking to said how nice and freshing it was to hear something other than "funky house" over and over again, although a couple of Italians seemed to prefer this and actually gave death threats to Twitch and Wilkes when they played a genius version of children singing the Beach Boys' 'Good Vibrations'! (they found this highly amusing though). Then Claire brought out a big bag of toys and everyone rushed over so that they could adorn themselves with moustaches, fake eyebrows, fly swots, toy guns and strap on boobs. Theo gave Wilkes a pair of silly glasses and he then proceeded to wear them for the next twenty minutes of his set much to everyone's amusement! If only all clubs could be this fun. Oh and free fruit too. What more could you want? Alfredo then came on to appease the Italians and played a good set. By now we were all in a bit of a mess but having so much fun. I told Twitch and Wilkes how well they'd gone down as they had no idea and they were pretty chuffed and are now Ibiza converts!
At the end everyone heads down to Bora Bora but we decide we really need some sleep before Carl Cox if we want to last until the end, so get about 3 hours kip to recharge our batteries before the next onslaught.
By now a couple of our mates from home at in Ibiza so we go round to their apartments in Playa D'en Bossa for a few drinks before heading to Carl Cox. They comment on how well we're looking considering we've only had 3 hours shut eye since Sunday. Thank goodness for Touche Eclait! Aim to get to Space for 11pm in order to only have to pay 15 euros but by that time, the queue is mental so we go back to theirs for a few more drinks and head back at about 1.30am so we miss Carl Cox on the terrace which is a pity.
It's a top night and compared to the past couple of years we've seen him at Space, it's probably the best one yet, especially in terms of track selection and technical ability but compared to the fun and frolics of earlier today, it's just lacking something. Where are the fake boobies I ask? It's incredibly busy in the main room, probably too busy and full of Spanish people asking for a "little sip" of water and then necking half the bottle. Theo encountered SIX people asking him for a sip in the space of about a minute which is beyond a joke. It's especially annoying as I always thought that Spanish people could get a glass of water at the bar pretty cheaply too, although I don't know if this is correct.
What I am impressed with however, is the new terrace upstairs. It's gorgeous! Like a debauched playground for adults with a mental yellow submarine-esque seating area in the middle (it's hard to describe) and mad yellow plastic covered foam chairs everywhere. It's pretty chilled too which is quite a change from the frantic techno onslaught downstairs. There's another new room as well, but it's so small and packed that the bouncers are doing 'one in, one out' so we just leave it.
Cox's set in faultless, it's incredible listening to all the tracks he throws in for just one moment to tease you and then completely switches to something else. It's hard to keep up! He doesn't seem to want to stop and his back to back with Christian Varela is brilliant. Just when you think that it can't possibly get any harder - it does! It eventually stops at 7.30am and we head back for a smoke and pretty much write of the next day although go back to Itica for the Meganite pre-party.
Thursday 9 September
Having not been able to hire a car at the weekend due to what I've now christened 'footgate', we resolve to do so today, especially as we've never done so before and there's so much of the island we've yet to see. We head to the car hire place just down the road from the hotel and decide to go for a jeep-style Suzuki for lots of fun. We pick up our mates and head to Salinas first for what turned out to be the last day of music at Sa Trincha. I'd been to Salinas a couple of years ago when I walked from Playa D'en Bossa (it took ages) but it's lovely to return to and nice to go to a more cosmopolitan beach with lovely, crystal-clear water. The salt water also helps my foot a lot as well, although as it's now undressed, it probably doesn't quite fit in with all the 'beautiful people'!
We then drive along to Cala d'Hort for a spot of lunch and to gaze in awe at Es Vedra. Wow. I'd seen pictures of it but in the flesh it really is imposing. No wonder it's got such a strange history. We were hoping to hire a boat and sail out to the island but sadly the guy who hires them out wasn't there that day. Oh well, that's something else to do next year.
Next, we drive right up to the top of the island, to Benirras to visit the caves and to watch the sunset in style, to make a change from the over-crowded sunset strip of San Antonio. It's a beautiful setting, but unfortunately it's too cloudy for a proper sunset. Still sit on the beach and enjoy a drink.
As it's pitch dark, the drink to Bambuddha Grove certainly is an interesting one. Lovely restaurant and we all plump for the incredible buffet. Fantastic food but very filling! We then drive back to Es Vive to park the car up so Theo can finally enjoy a drink.
Friday 10 September
Ah, it's finally come. Our last day. Funny how quickly time goes when you're having so much fun. I try to remain philosophical and reminisce on all the wonderful memories I have and look forward to next year rather than get depressed.
We pack our suitaces and bid adieu to the apartments and head down to Bora Bora for one last dance. Although there is not to be any dancing or even music as the steal shutters are down where Dj Gee would normally be. (Of course, I later find out that this is to be permanent and is in effect the death kneel for Bora Bora. Very sad.) We still stay there, trying to top our tans up before heading back to the colder climate of Scotland.
As we're not being picked up to go to the airport until 2.30am, we have time for one last meal and we had been planning on going to Studio in Sa Penya in the heart of the action but they were closed for a function so where else to go but our favourite haunt - La Torretta. The food was the best yet as well with me plumping for a octopus carpaccio for starter and then lobster for main course, followed by a coconut crème brulee for dessert. I know, but it was our last night!
When then headed back and reminisced on our fantastic holiday, already planning what we would be doing next year.
Our luggage didn't make it back to Glasgow which isn't exactly what you want at 6am but thankfully they turned up the following day (they must've decided to stay for Pure Pacha!).
Overall, the best yet with plenty of new things and every time I think about it, I just can't stop grinning.
Friday 27/Saturday 28 August
After a rather interesting flight in the early hours full of drunk Glaswegians, we arrive at our hotel, the Sirenis Jabeque in the Es Vive area between Playa D'en Bossa and Figueretes at about 5am. Initial impressions are that it's a nice apartment, very spacious and well furnished and right on the seafront so there's an incredible view. Sit on the balcony, gazing out to Ibiza Town and realise that we're actually here. It's a very nice feeling.
Have a bit of kip and then head for lunch on one of the pavement cafes just by the sea in Figueretes. Realise how lucky we are with location as it's less frantic than Playa D'en Bossa and rather scenic with the tree-lined promenade. Walk to Bora Bora (which only takes about 20 minutes along the beach from our hotel) and feel like I've come home as Dj Gee is already in full swing.
After a couple of overpriced drinks at The Rock and Zinc in the marina in Ibiza Town (where a barman in Zinc tried to dilute Theo's pint with lemonade!) we head for dinner in La Torretta in D'Alt Villa for old time's sake. Food is absolutely divine and pretty good value for that area. Anyone who hasn't tried it really should, plus there's plenty for veggies which keeps Theo happy. Drink quite a bit and stagger home, rather merry. In my drunken stupor I get rather disorientated and enquire if the bedroom is on a boat. Oh dear.
Sunday 29 August
Wake up with a bit of a hangover and decide to just stay by the hotel pool. Gorgeous views but an awful lot of loud Brits, mainly families too all wearing their England shirts.
On the advice of some people on Ibiza Spotlight (Drew, I think) we head to El Bistro, also in D'Alt Villa for dinner. Very scenic and romantic with excellent food and service as well. Not especially busy and the people sat next to us start discussing having a threesome with one another.
Walk back to the apartments (only takes about 20 minutes which is great) and see Orde Meikle on the phone in Figueretes. Ah, that'll be Slam playing at Circo Loco at DC10 tomorrow then.
Monday 30 August
Sleep in until lunch and head to Bora Bora to get us in the mood for this evening's antics - Cocoon at Amnesia. Once again the music is fantastic until 'Dj Martin Rice' takes over and it goes a bit downhill as he plays trance and Jamiroquai.
Go for a pizza to give us our dancing energy and sit next to some mad Brummie woman who tells the rest of her group about creation which appears to involve a spaceship with the letters 'G.O.D.' on the side. Find it very hard not to burst out laughing.
Head to Cocoon wondering whether Dj Hell will make it third time lucky for me as he's cancelled the past couple of times he was due to play Glasgow so I've never been able to see him despite him being one of the first djs I got into, thanks to his Fuse presents Hell mix. Having emailed the promoter beforehand telling him about my article for The Reservoir, I manage to get in on the guest list which will allow me into the VIP area and be able to take photographs which is nice.
Dj Hell is on right at the start and looks an awful lot older than in recent pictures, so much so that we doubt it's him at first! It's still fairly quiet and as a result, it doesn't really start to have an atmosphere until about 2am. Hell is on for about four hours and in that time, manages to play some of my favourite tracks at the moment (Prototype's 'Rex The Dog' and then into 'Girls' by The Prodigy) although his mixing is a little off at times and he doesn't half look moody. He also plays a cover of Green Velvet's La La Land with some strange female vocal which I shall have to hunt down. The track of the night which gets the biggest cheer though is Alter Ego's 'Rocker'. The crowd go absolutely nuts and the Amnesia dancers come out to strut their stuff. Whilst I normally find them all a little tacky, I have to concede that it does work well. By now it's absolutely rammed in the main room. Notice that there seems to be a lot less Germans compared to last year and far more Spanish girls. At about 4.30am, a very happy looking Sven Vath walks into the dj booth wearing on of those flashing pendants that the looky lookys sell. Hell finishes his set with a remix of Simian's 'Never Be Alone'. Job's a good 'un!
Sven is far better than when I saw him at Cocoon last year. His sets just seems that little bit harder and thankfully, less trancey. He even drops Vitalic's 'La Rock' and I think I'm going to explode. Don't spend much time in the other room apart from to have a sit down as it's pretty quiet (M.A.N.D.Y. playing). Wonder upstairs to take some pictures of the VIP area. Not really that much to write home about and they charge 10 euros for a bottle of water as opposed to 8 downstairs!
It all finishes at 7.30am and as it's just the two of us, we decide against checking out the alleged beach after-party as it seems too much hassle and just crash out.
Tuesday 31 August
Wake up at about 3pm, feeling pretty fuzzy and decide to stay out of the sun. Head for a drink on one of the cafes by the beach in Figueretes. The place seems full of casualties, all with their head in their hands! Have a couple of beers and start to feel a little more human.
Head to Bora Bora in the evening with bottles of San Miguel and smoke in tow. It's really busy, possibly more so than this time last year. This is the real Ibiza - free and full of happy people. Once again, everyone cheers as the planes come in. Where else in the world would that happen?!
Decide to give Carl Cox a miss until next week as it's past the time when you can get in for free (pay? Us?!) but sit in the bar opposite Space and can hear his terrace set which is already pretty banging. He plays 'Strings of Life' which was also Gee's last track at Bora Bora tonight. I feel that this is going to be one of the tunes of the holiday. Rather that than 'Lola's Theme' anyway!
Wednesday 1 September
Once again, sleep until some ridiculous hour. Things do move back here, I suppose. Head down to Bora Bora to work on our tans.
Head to San Antonio to meet a man about a dog. Go to Kanya which is a complete rip-off (4 euros for just over half a pint) so only stay for one.
On recommendation of the Rough Guide and Dj Magazine, head towards San Antonio Bay for food in the form of a place called Casa Thai. Both guides say that it's not much to look at (a bit of a dive) but the food is incredible and as cheap as chips. Sure enough, it does look like the kind of place that you wouldn't look twice at if you didn't realise, but it's packed and at 10.50 euros for three courses and a beer, it'd be rude not too! The food is lovely. Simple and maybe more Chinese than Thai, but still very good. Mr C walks in (wearing a 'We 8 Spurs' T-shirt!) and sits at the table next to us, clearly getting his feed before his night at Underground.
Head to Itica for the Meganite pre-party with Mauro Piccotto. Music isn't bad, although a couple of his early tracks hint at his pre-techno days. Head downstairs and it's pretty busy and a good atmosphere, like a mini club with everyone dancing. He sticks on Alter Ego's 'Rocker' and the place goes nuts - including Theo and myself! He finishes at 1am, so we finish our drinks and get the Disco Bus back to Ibiza Town which is very multi national tonight, probably due to Meganite and La Troya.
Thursday 2 September
Woken up at 11am by maid who's much earlier than normal. Theo shouts to her in Spanish that we'll only be a couple of minutes and she seems annoyed and walks away, muttering to herself. Feel a bit light-headed (that's what Ibiza does to you!) so decide to have a reasonably quiet day at Bora Bora in order to keep our strength up for Craig Richards at Underground tonight. Intrigued and excited about what Underground will be like. That's one of the great things about Ibiza - every time you go, you always seem to discover something new.
My foot starts to hurt at Bora Bora and is throbbing a little. I probably shouldn't go out dancing tonight but Craig Richards is calling me. Drink some red wine to try to forget about the pain and head out.
Arrive at Underground at 12.30pm having had to walk down the scary Ibiza Town - San Antonio road in the pitch darkness from the Privilege stop. It's a gorgeous building, really a converted house surrounded by gardens which are used as a covered bar area. So nice to go somewhere that's free to get into and the drinks aren't too expensive either. Notice that Ivan Smagghe is playing as well. Result! It's pretty quiet at the start but by 2am, it's filling up nicely and people have started to dance. As much as I like Ivan Smagghe's mixes, his set doesn't really go anywhere and seems more designed for listening to when you're sitting down that for going mental on the dancefloor to. However when Craig Richards comes on at about 3am, I just feel the overwhelming urge to shake my thang. My foot is getting sorer and sorer but I just grin and bear it and manage to invent a dance that doesn't involve me putting to much pressure onto the side of my left leg. What must I look like?! The night finishes at 6am and although having passes for What's Up? At Space, we decide just to head back to the apartments, especially as my foot clearly isn't up to it.
Friday 3 September
Wake up in the afternoon and notice straight away how sore my foot has become. I try to walk on it and it's pretty painful and makes me feel all light-headed so I just lie in bed. Theo puts a cold compress on it and it feels lovely so I just assume that it's a bit swollen and the only things for it is to rest and take some aspirin. Go to sleep, hoping that it'll be better when I wake up. It's not. In fact it's much worse and when I tried to walk on it, I throw up. Talk about the comedown from hell! Theo suggests going to the doctors but I still maintain that it's just a little swollen and there's no point in seeing a doctor. Then I realise that I can't actually move my toe and suddenly I get paranoid and think I may have broken it. Nice one. Theo take's the plaster off to see if it gives me more movement and then jumps back in horror and shouts "oh my god!". I wonder what the hell is the matter and then I look down and see it. My foot appears to be trying to recreate the scene from the film Alien. By now, I concede that it's probably best to call a doctor out. Theo goes to reception to order one and whilst one will be with us in 20 minutes, it'll cost 100 euros for the call-out alone. However I don't really have an option, so we book the doctor and by now, I am choking back the tears as I contemplate what I've actually done to it and if that's my holiday ruined.
The doctor is absolutely lovely, although he looks absolutely horrified himself when he sees my foot and asks how on earth I've managed to do that to it. I still don't know myself. He prescribes some seriously strong antibiotics and dresses it. It starts to feel better already and now I know I've done the right thing, even though the total bill comes to 140 euros. I ask how long I need to rest for and he says that whilst I need to stay in tonight (so no Laurent Garnier for me then!) and tomorrow, by Sunday I should feel a lot better and by Monday almost back to normal. So I shall get to go to the ball!
Saturday 4 September
Clearly yesterday's developments have somewhat dashed our plans to hire a car today, so just take it very easy. Walking is still difficult and I hobble along to Figueretes getting odd looks as I go along. I'm not allowed to drink for two days due to the antibiotics so it's Coca-Cola for me today.
Was going to just sit by the hotel pool but as they're playing bloody Robbie Williams, decide to try Es Vive hotel just down the road as it's the Hed Kandi pool party this afternoon and even that would be better than 'Live at Knebsworth'.
I'm actually pretty impressed. The music is more soulful than the Hed Kandi compilations I've heard before with the likes of Soul2Soul and Primal Scream's 'Loaded'. Matt Collins is djing and I'm tempted to go over and say hello and how much I'm enjoying his set but I feel I'll probably frighten him with my hobble. Lovely hotel too and a nice change from the loudmouth Brits and screaming kids at the Jabeque. My bandaged foot and limp doesn't quite fit in with the uber trendy image of the Es Vive and with the rash that's developed down my leg due to the antibiotics, I feel a bit of a leper.
Sunday 5 September
Overcast so decide against Bora Bora. Foot is feeling a lot better and my limp has gone as well. Walk (slowly) along beach to Playa D'en Bossa and see a poster for tomorrow's Manumission with Optimo on it. Get very excited.
Get the taxi boat from Playa D'en Bossa to the Marina in Ibiza Town. I've never travelled on this before and at 3 euros it's a bit of a bargain and far nicer than getting a regular taxi. As it's night time, D'alt Villa is all lit up and looks stunning. Feel quite emotional and realise that I love this island even more than before.
Head to El Pirate on the Marina for a pizza. Sit next to a woman who is the absolute spit of Rebecca Loos (and she has her mobile out on the table!) and then look behind me to see none other than Anthea Turner and Grant Bovey sat at a table in the Mambo bar next door! I wonder if she is off to Space?
Monday 6 September
Despite not being the best weather (light drizzle and overcast - just like Glasgow!) head to Bora Bora. Really looking forward to Manumission tonight which is something I never thought I would say.
Go to the Curry Club in San Antonio for dinner. Absolutely lovely and such a nice setting that you completely forget you're in the heart of San An. It's also my first day of drinking for a while and the Tiger larger tastes truly divine.
Get the Disco Bus to Privilege and head to the guest list entrance round the back, with our fingers crossed that we're on the guestlist. We are! Unfortunately, the bouncer has a metal detector and finds my camera. He's actually really nice about it and as I don't want to hand it in to them, he says that I can keep it on me if I go and hide the battery, so I do. Considered sneaking the battery in as well, but decided against it as he was pretty fair when he didn't even need to be.
Shame I'm not able to take pictures though as the place is incredible. It's my first time at Privilege and my first thought is 'wow'. It's even better and bigger than I could possibly have imagined. It's already absolutely packed so we go for a wonder to get our bearings. The music in the main room is pretty good (Mylo, Daft Punk, Scissor Sisters…) whereas I'd always envisaged that it would be really cheesy. There's also less beerboys as well than I had thought.
We go to one of the bars outside in amongst the trees and get chatting to a couple who it turns out are also staying at the Jabeque. We watch the first 'act' of the show - pretty incredible. I dread to think how long it takes for them to set it all up as the set is amazing - based on the Manumission Motel with all the rooms and plenty of tits as well! Don't catch much else of the show as we're too busy in the Music Box room for Optimo. So surreal seeing them there, when we could catch them every Sunday in Glasgow for £5 and it's probably my favourite night as well back home. Things get off to a bad start when the PA system goes just before they are due to come on but it's fixed and before long they're rocking the place and the crowd seems to love them. Stand chatting with Keith (Dj Twitch) who also gives us a drinks vouchers (free red bull and vodka!). Great set with loads of Optimo classics (Donna Summer's 'I Feel Love', Peaches' 'Rock Show' with Vitalic's 'La Rock', Depeche Mode…) which really suited the overall vibe. They take a break for the band, the Ju Ju Babes to come on. Not too impressed with them, seem like an odd choice to have as residents as it's too laid back and kills the atmosphere a bit making it harder for when Optimo come back on - not helped by the titty show going on in the Coco Loco room next door!
Manage to get passes for the Carry On at Space and as we walk to get a taxi at 8am from Privilege, we know that this is going to be one experience never to forget…
…after a much-needed freshen-up back at our apartments, we head over to Space to get in just before 10am. The theme this week is Carry On Constable, so the whole place is designed like a police station with bars on the walls (which is pretty trippy, I can tell you!) and all the Manumission girls dressed up in police gear. Quite a few casualties there as well but everyone who's stayed on clearly wants to be there so there's no beerboys or posers which is lovely and makes for a superb atmosphere. When Optimo come on at 11am, I feel like I've died and gone to heaven. Honestly, for both myself and Theo, this is our best clubbing experience EVER. Seeing the terrace at Space, my favourite venue, ripped apart by two djs I feel I've grown up with, who we've been hanging about with all night and play some of my favourite tracks of all time (most of which I never thought I'd hear in Ibiza, let alone on the terrace at Space) is just mind blowing. When Twitch played Joy Division's 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' I could feel my eyes welling up - thank goodness for sunglasses! I run over to the middle of the dancefloor, just in front of the dj booth when the mix of 'Rock Show' and 'La Rock' is played again. It's too good! Oh, and hearing Wilkes plays Queens' 'Another One Bites The Dust', The Prodigy's 'Out of Space' (with the Bob Marley original) and Nirvana's Lithium and looking about to see the whole place go bananas, including Mike and Claire and the other Manumission djs who seemed to be loving every minute of it. A couple of the Manumission girls I was speaking to said how nice and freshing it was to hear something other than "funky house" over and over again, although a couple of Italians seemed to prefer this and actually gave death threats to Twitch and Wilkes when they played a genius version of children singing the Beach Boys' 'Good Vibrations'! (they found this highly amusing though). Then Claire brought out a big bag of toys and everyone rushed over so that they could adorn themselves with moustaches, fake eyebrows, fly swots, toy guns and strap on boobs. Theo gave Wilkes a pair of silly glasses and he then proceeded to wear them for the next twenty minutes of his set much to everyone's amusement! If only all clubs could be this fun. Oh and free fruit too. What more could you want? Alfredo then came on to appease the Italians and played a good set. By now we were all in a bit of a mess but having so much fun. I told Twitch and Wilkes how well they'd gone down as they had no idea and they were pretty chuffed and are now Ibiza converts!
At the end everyone heads down to Bora Bora but we decide we really need some sleep before Carl Cox if we want to last until the end, so get about 3 hours kip to recharge our batteries before the next onslaught.
By now a couple of our mates from home at in Ibiza so we go round to their apartments in Playa D'en Bossa for a few drinks before heading to Carl Cox. They comment on how well we're looking considering we've only had 3 hours shut eye since Sunday. Thank goodness for Touche Eclait! Aim to get to Space for 11pm in order to only have to pay 15 euros but by that time, the queue is mental so we go back to theirs for a few more drinks and head back at about 1.30am so we miss Carl Cox on the terrace which is a pity.
It's a top night and compared to the past couple of years we've seen him at Space, it's probably the best one yet, especially in terms of track selection and technical ability but compared to the fun and frolics of earlier today, it's just lacking something. Where are the fake boobies I ask? It's incredibly busy in the main room, probably too busy and full of Spanish people asking for a "little sip" of water and then necking half the bottle. Theo encountered SIX people asking him for a sip in the space of about a minute which is beyond a joke. It's especially annoying as I always thought that Spanish people could get a glass of water at the bar pretty cheaply too, although I don't know if this is correct.
What I am impressed with however, is the new terrace upstairs. It's gorgeous! Like a debauched playground for adults with a mental yellow submarine-esque seating area in the middle (it's hard to describe) and mad yellow plastic covered foam chairs everywhere. It's pretty chilled too which is quite a change from the frantic techno onslaught downstairs. There's another new room as well, but it's so small and packed that the bouncers are doing 'one in, one out' so we just leave it.
Cox's set in faultless, it's incredible listening to all the tracks he throws in for just one moment to tease you and then completely switches to something else. It's hard to keep up! He doesn't seem to want to stop and his back to back with Christian Varela is brilliant. Just when you think that it can't possibly get any harder - it does! It eventually stops at 7.30am and we head back for a smoke and pretty much write of the next day although go back to Itica for the Meganite pre-party.
Thursday 9 September
Having not been able to hire a car at the weekend due to what I've now christened 'footgate', we resolve to do so today, especially as we've never done so before and there's so much of the island we've yet to see. We head to the car hire place just down the road from the hotel and decide to go for a jeep-style Suzuki for lots of fun. We pick up our mates and head to Salinas first for what turned out to be the last day of music at Sa Trincha. I'd been to Salinas a couple of years ago when I walked from Playa D'en Bossa (it took ages) but it's lovely to return to and nice to go to a more cosmopolitan beach with lovely, crystal-clear water. The salt water also helps my foot a lot as well, although as it's now undressed, it probably doesn't quite fit in with all the 'beautiful people'!
We then drive along to Cala d'Hort for a spot of lunch and to gaze in awe at Es Vedra. Wow. I'd seen pictures of it but in the flesh it really is imposing. No wonder it's got such a strange history. We were hoping to hire a boat and sail out to the island but sadly the guy who hires them out wasn't there that day. Oh well, that's something else to do next year.
Next, we drive right up to the top of the island, to Benirras to visit the caves and to watch the sunset in style, to make a change from the over-crowded sunset strip of San Antonio. It's a beautiful setting, but unfortunately it's too cloudy for a proper sunset. Still sit on the beach and enjoy a drink.
As it's pitch dark, the drink to Bambuddha Grove certainly is an interesting one. Lovely restaurant and we all plump for the incredible buffet. Fantastic food but very filling! We then drive back to Es Vive to park the car up so Theo can finally enjoy a drink.
Friday 10 September
Ah, it's finally come. Our last day. Funny how quickly time goes when you're having so much fun. I try to remain philosophical and reminisce on all the wonderful memories I have and look forward to next year rather than get depressed.
We pack our suitaces and bid adieu to the apartments and head down to Bora Bora for one last dance. Although there is not to be any dancing or even music as the steal shutters are down where Dj Gee would normally be. (Of course, I later find out that this is to be permanent and is in effect the death kneel for Bora Bora. Very sad.) We still stay there, trying to top our tans up before heading back to the colder climate of Scotland.
As we're not being picked up to go to the airport until 2.30am, we have time for one last meal and we had been planning on going to Studio in Sa Penya in the heart of the action but they were closed for a function so where else to go but our favourite haunt - La Torretta. The food was the best yet as well with me plumping for a octopus carpaccio for starter and then lobster for main course, followed by a coconut crème brulee for dessert. I know, but it was our last night!
When then headed back and reminisced on our fantastic holiday, already planning what we would be doing next year.
Our luggage didn't make it back to Glasgow which isn't exactly what you want at 6am but thankfully they turned up the following day (they must've decided to stay for Pure Pacha!).
Overall, the best yet with plenty of new things and every time I think about it, I just can't stop grinning.
