25th July - 8th August

connell1888

New Member
It as taken me until now to even pay a visit back to this website, never mind bring myself to write a review about it, probably because I do not want to consign Ibiza 2012 to the past!

I will warn that this is not my, or I'm sure many others, idea of the ultimate Ibiza experience - as it involves certain elements of a "lads" holiday - and involves quite worrying amounts of obviously "legal" drug use.


Here goes....


Wednesday 25th July

We had a very early morning flight out of Glasgow, and had to be at the airport around 3am. Just to set a scene that will become familiar throughout this review, by the time we reached the airport, 2 of my mates were already hammered, I will refer to these two at L1 and L2 (L standing for lunatic). Anyway, after a surprisingly stress free check-in, stopped getting served in the pub - L1's fault - and successfully hiding a bottle of Vodka and Jagermeister for the flight, we finally boarded the plane. Now this being an early flight I expected a modicum of calmness, how wrong I was. Imagine the scene of a crowd at an illegal boxing match? Well that was the scene on the Glasgow to Ibiza flight that day. We landed just in time for one rocket - Glasgow language for absolute mentalist - to start a fight with another rocket in the passport inspection queue. The holiday had clearly started well :rolleyes:. Anyway, after the carnage we found a relatively sane bus full of people and were in due course dumped at San Antonio bus station to walk to our hotel. We were staying in Hotel Pacific (just up from the egg) in two rooms off 3. Paid the usual deposit incase somebody wrecked the room in a drug-fuelled frenzy, then headed into what must have been the two most miserbale hotel rooms in Ibiza, OK maybe a slight exaggeration, but still just awful! This is not Trip Advisor so I will spare you the details, let's just say, at least we had a bed each! After un-packing to the tune of me pleading with the other 5 to go to Be @ Space that night, we headed on our first and most important task. That task was to find some, let's call them "mood enhancers". Operation "find a dodgy looking Scouser" complete we headed down the West End for a few pints and bets on the horses. As I touched on at the beginning, I found myself in the god forsaken West End far to often during this holiday, so I just had to make the most off it! Anyway, during the course of that afternoon, I won 250 euros on the horses (I don't even bet!!) and proceeded to buy all the drinks. By 6 O'clock there were already a few casualties, L1 & L2 were performing quite unbelievable acts of gum-chewing, S1 (S since he done nothing but sleep) was predicatably sleeping, that left only 3 of us to get ready for our first night. I had high hopes for that night, I envisaged entering Space to sample the sounds of Fedde Le Grand & Mark Knight, instead I predicably found myself in the Highlander, yes the f*cking Highlander! I consistently told myself to make the most of it, and managed admirably. The hours dragged, the drinks went down far too easily and group after group of female movedon after seeing the state we were in. But, by 3am I was the last man standing, largely due to the "mood enhancers" I had sourced (I really do wish I could go into more detail about the experience on these things), and had befriended 2 girls who stayed relatively close to me in Scotland. I spent the next 3 hours with them moving from one jam-packed sweatbox to the next, by the time we headed back to the hotel, (coincidently they were in the same hotel as us), I had all but ruined any chance I had of "getting lucky" that night. It turns out grinding your teeth and having eyes like a shark can be quite a turn off for the opposite sex, who knew? I vaguely remeber spending the next 3 hours on their balcony drinking what can only be described as pure petrol, and literally falling all the way down the stairs to my room. It must have been 9am, and by this stage let's just say the hallucinations were getting interesting.

I remember lying in bed cursing the night I had, but at the same time knowing that I would have to get used this! Anyway it was Cream Thursday next!!!!:)



More later (I promise my nights were not always as bad as the first!).........
 
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Although not the typical 'Ibiza experience' Highlander and Kilties deliver good nights for us Scottish and mixed in with the big club nights can be a cracking holiday but you're right far too many times you end up in these 2 boozers, end up too wasted and missing the nights you came to Ibiza for. Happens to me every year
 
Although not the typical 'Ibiza experience' Highlander and Kilties deliver good nights for us Scottish and mixed in with the big club nights can be a cracking holiday but you're right far too many times you end up in these 2 boozers, end up too wasted and missing the nights you came to Ibiza for. Happens to me every year


As you say, a pre-drink in these places and then on to a club makes for a great night! But spending 5/6 hours in there and having a terrible hangover as a result gets extremely frustrating, but I kind off get used to this scenario!
 
Thursday 25th July

After what had been a very heavy first night on the island, I could not believe my luck when I woke up mid-afternoon feeling extremely good! A tip for those who have never been to Ibiza, a good nights sleep can make such a difference! But, this good feeling was also probably due the the fact it was Cream Thursday, the scene of my greatest ever clubbing experience the previous year. From the moment I woke up, I instantly felt as though the day would have a much more relaxed feel too it. A day in which a nice greasy kebab, a few Magners and a day in the sun was enough to extinguish any hint of a comedown. However this chilled out feel did not seem to apply to L1 & L2! It became apparent by around 5pm that these two would not make it out of the hotel. I think it is appropriate at this point to explain that three of my mates (L1, L2 & S1) had no interest in attending any club during the holiday, therefore leaving the remaining 3 of us to go it alone. We headed down to the West End for some cheap drinks, predictably in the Highlander, and to meet our "chemist" for some essentials. I cannot stress enough how happy I was to meet this guy! We headed for Cream relatively early, and to be fair it was lucky we did. By the time Gareth Emery took over at 1.30, I was gone, and by gone I mean I had become totally immersed in both music and drugs. Both combined created a quite incredible, euphoric feeling, the same feeling that defined each club night I have attended in Ibiza. Luckily, my memory from that night is as clear as day, Gareth Emery was terrific, keeping up with the hands in the air tradition which defines Cream. There was just enough time for us all to finish of our "medication" for the night before the king of Cream himself appeared. Paul Van Dyk played an incredible set, during which me and one of my mates, C1, became enthralled watching the mirror above the stage, which pretty much allows you to watch what the DJ is doing, an incredible discovery I must say. After a heathy dose of Cream classics, we lost the last of my mates, let's call him D1, and could only manage 45 minutes off Giuseppe Ottaviani's closing set, as we had "hit the wall" - we used this to describe when we physically could not dance anymore, once your legs turn to jelly the night is over! We returned to the hotel with the two girls from the previous night for a chilled out drink on our balcony, again I cannot stress enough, drugs are a definite deterrent when it comes to "getting lucky", and by this stage I had pretty much accepted that it was never going to happen, but the girls were both good company. The perfect way to round off an incredible night.

I must add in here, that in my 2 years in Ibiza (still a rookie!) I had not seen any sign of trouble, but that night in Amnesia was the first time I'd witnessed some. I don't think it's the time or place to explain what the trouble started over, but it really did seem to kill the atmosphere a little, and the place began emptying very quickly. Not something I want to experience again!

Anyway, I had definitely had a day which had been in line with what I wanted my "Ibiza experience" to be like! Unfortunately this was the first and last uneventful, chilled out day of the holiday!


More tomorrow....
 
Maybe some of you Scottish can explain this to me, but why do all you want to do is go to a Scottish pub with lots of other Scottish people when you've just left Scotland for a holiday?

Same applies to welsh and irish too but scottish are definitely the worst for it!
 
Loving this read so far.... :D

(btw just wondering if L stands for lunatic and S sleepy, what about C and D? :lol:)
 
Friday 27th July*


After an incredible night, there is nothing better than waking up to a day of relaxation and experiencing the morning after "glaze" in peace. However, after only 3 hours sleep, I was awoken by quite a commotion which pretty much summed up the day ahead! This commotion was caused due to L1 deciding that, after no sleep and a damaging amount of drug taking, he would go for a swim in the pool. He soon discovered that he had forgot how to swim and had to be rescued from the pool and dragged up to his room with his swim shorts at his ankles and a sombrero on. Quite possibly one of the funniest things I seen all holiday! Anyway, after very little sleep, and another failed attempt at getting everybody to attend Pete Tong that night, we spent a day drinking at the pool with the two girls we had met on the first day, as this was their last day. The drinks once again went down too easily, and before we could sort out a plan for that night, L2 - the drunkest guy in the hotel - had disappeared and came back with a hired buggy. I will spare the details on how he almost killed himself twice driving that thing, but I think it gave him a wake up call! We headed out that night, already extremely drunk, sourced our "mood enhancers", and as usual headed for the highlander. At this point, I lost all memory of the rest of the night, I do know that I recommended we head to Play2 - also down the west end - as it was good on a Friday night. Other than that my night is a blank, do not know how or when I got home, but I did wake up on the toilet floor, meaning I must have had a decent night! Without a doubt this was the drunkest and most drugged up I was the entire holiday do not think my body could have took two nights of such abuse! On a positive note over the next few days clubbing would take more prominence than getting drunk.


More tomorrow...
 
Saturday 28th July



This was the day that another large group of people we knew would arrive in San Antonio, and this was also the first time that my previous nights adventures began to catch up with me. The mixture of both a hangover and a horrific comedown almost ruined my entire day. But, being in Ibiza there is no time for feeling sorry for yourself. I made the decision that morning that I was going to get away from the madness for a couple of hours, attempt to eat and chill out at Cafe Mambo. I did not quite realise just how bad I was feeling until I began walking, it took 4 stoppages and 45 minutes to walk from the Egg to Mambo, must be some sort of record. Now at this point, I should really have been sensible, by eating a decent meal and getting a decent intake of Vitamin C before going for an afternoon sleep. Instead, I had a few drinks in Mambo, headed to the highlander for a few drinks with the lads who had just arrived, and never ate anything. I must put in a quick word about Mambo, it is a terrific place to chill out during the day, which I'm sure the majority of you know, I only wish I had went down there more often! Anyway, once I arrived back at my hotel, sporting all of our tickets for Hed Kandi that night, I predictably discovered L1 was out of his face, and thankfully that L2 had disappeared to Ibiza rocks with the new arrivals. What transpired between my arrival back to the hotel and going out started the downward spiral that would almost force me to go home early. First lesson, never allow somebody out their face on drugs to go and buy your drugs, I learned that quickly when after asking L1 to get me a couple of "mood enhancers", he returned with a prized bag of MDMA. Over the next four hours we done the lot, and before I had even got ready I was tuned to the moon. One plus that did come of this was that I would not touch another drop of alcohol the rest of the night, I was sure anything other than water would send my body into a disastrous meltdown. By the time we left the West End for Es Paradis, we were all in good spirits, probably the first time of the holiday so far. However, the rest of the lads, C1, D1 & S1, were feeling the effects that day and would only last a few hours in Es Paradis that night. Hed Kandi had become a real draw for us after having such a good experience the previous year, and once again it would not disappoint. Es Paradis itself is ideal for complementing the glamour that accompanies the Hed Kandi label, I just love way the club is decorated on these nights. Also, to our surprise the place was absolutely packed, but unfortunately it was packed with the type of people who were more concerned about tensing up for a photograph than actually enjoying themselves. This was probably the reason the atmosphere felt so lifeless until around 4ish (the time the posers left at so they could look good for the going to the pool in the morning). By this point I was on my own, only L1 remained somewhere in the club, wandering around aimlessly, but I didn't care, the music was terrific and the outbursts of saxophone (especially during "Devotion" & "Man with the red face") fascinating. It was strange to see a club slowly emptying but the atmosphere getting better and better, and by the end with only 200 or so people remaining the place was jumping. I was gutted the night was over, so much so that I was literally the last person the leave. I had managed a whole night without any alcohol, and I had not overdone it with drugs, or so I thought. I returned to our rooms to find the place in an uproar. Apparently L2 had appeared at 4am with one of the lads from Ibiza Rocks in a severe state of paranoia, proclaiming every 5 minutes "they are coming through that f*cking door lads, I swear", as he stood with a plastic chair in his hand. I can honestly say none of us knew who "they" were, but as true friends do, we continued to wind him up until he could not stay in the hotel any longer. I have NEVER seen anybody as paranoid in my life as he was that night. When I left their room and went back to mines for some sleep, I got a sneak preview of what was to come. After 4 days of quite heavy drug use, there are certain functions your body can no longer do, such as maintain a working bladder or prevent music from constantly pounding in your head. Attempting to sleep had become almost impossible but I somehow managed to around 10.30, praying that I would not wake up feeling as bad as I had the previous day.
 
Maybe some of you Scottish can explain this to me, but why do all you want to do is go to a Scottish pub with lots of other Scottish people when you've just left Scotland for a holiday?

Same applies to welsh and irish too but scottish are definitely the worst for it!


I think we do it completely subconciously, it just seems to happen.

We even look for Scottish people we know in these Scottish pubs, and spend the night with them doing exactly the same thing we would do in Scotland, just with a pair of shorts on!
 
Sunday 29th July


Remember how I was praying that I would wake up feeling better than the previous morning? Well clearly nobody listened. I had managed around 2 hours sleep, and it was time to get up and head out to watch the football (Celtic vs Inter Milan) in the Huddle Bar with S1. Something I don't think I have mentioned is that every day/night of the holiday I would go to this bar for one or two drinks, usually to escape the madness of the rest of the West End. The place is always welcoming and the company is always good! To be fair it probably helps that I am a Celtic supporter :D.

Anyway, after a rushed jump in the pool and cold pint, I had managed to pull myself together adequately enough to face another torturous walk. I really was on edge by this point, car horns would send me into a state of panic, my peripheral vision was filled with things that were not actually happening and I was adament everybody I walked past was staring at me. I could only tell myself to man up and keep going, I had We Love @ Space then ASOT @ Privelige to attend then I could have a day or two barricaded in my room. On route to the West End, I purchased my ticket for We Love that night, on the assumption that I would convince somebody to go with me!

We made it down to the Huddle Bar just in time for kick off, place was packed so it was a case of buying 2 drinks every time you went to the bar. Needless to say, by the time we left, around 4.30ish, I was smashed again. Looking back, I regret how I consistently found myself so drunk during the day, I still do not understand my thought process, I think I must have been scared of being straight for any period of time. Added to that, I really am a sucker for a Magners!

On returning to the hotel, I caused a fair bit of commotion at the pool (in a good way), and it's fair to say quite a few people had a laugh at my expense! But, once again, like some sort of alcohol immune machine, I was up to the room, changed and ready to head of to PDB. "Mood enhancers" purchased, I tagged along with a group who knew what buses to take to PDB, I think they were dutch or swedish or german, to be honest I had absolutely no idea, but it did work and I got there safely. I had been given advice to buy some drink from a shop and sit on the grass outside Ushuaia, as you could hear the music quite clearly. I don't think I found the place recommended to me, but I could hear the music and I was in the sun, so all was well. When I did eventually find the aforementioned spot, I think Avicii was starting, not his biggest fan but from what I could hear, his set sounded half decent. If anybody was in the area I was talking about that night, and happened to see a guy around 6ft 2in, with a pair of love heart sunglasses on and no top, pulling of some ridiculous dance moves, then yes that was me 8).

After embarassing myself for the second time that day, I finally headed for Space. I have no idea how long I waited in the queue, or what time I finally got in. My memory from here on in is patchy at best, the problem I had was that almost as soon as I entered I was already in "wander around the club aimlessly" mode, fascinated by anything and everything. I have no idea who I actually saw, I just know that whatever room I was in, I absolutely loved the music! I am more of a trance fan myself, but it really was fantastic. I really do wish I could share more of my experience and give a more detailed account, but I don't remember much other than dancing around the place having a good time. However, my biggest regret of the whole day was leaving early, I was back in San An for 1.45am, I don't know why I left, but I think spending the whole night completely by myself was just too much. I was offered a space in a taxi by two suspiciously friendly English guys, now it may have been paranoia but there was absolutely no way I was getting in that taxi, as I result I spent 40 euros for my own taxi.

Knowing my mates would be in the Highlander, that is exactly where I headed, but on my way up the West End I seemed to notice alot of people who were beyond drunk or drugged up, and I mean alot more than usual. The police were out in force with paramedics also walking around, I automatically assumed dodgy drugs were kicking about and told myself that I was taking nothing else that night. After this decision, my night just seemed to quietly fly in, and I actually made it back to the hotel for 4.30am to get a much needed sleep. A night that had promised to be sensational had been in a way ruined by a stupid decision to leave when I did.

However, little did I know the night was not actually over. I had been the only one in either of our rooms when I returned a 4.30, but when I was awoken by blaring music at 8.30, the scene was extremely different. A couple of the lads from Ibiza Rocks were in the room along with S1 & C1 - who I was sharing a room with and who had both been relatively sensible to this point. The 4 of them were in a sorry, sorry state, something they had in common with the room itself which was flooded and covered with broken Buckfast bottles. I was given a beer and told to "put good tunes on", something which I done without realising the time. Within minutes, hotel staff had raided the room and told us if the music was not turned off we were out the door. This half hour of carnage resulted in us recieving a final warning with more than a weeks holiday left.

It really was time we settled ourselves down:!:
 
Nothing against you personally, but most of what you're describing is what most people dread coming across in Ibiza.

I'm all for getting messy and having fun, but getting beyond drunk and pissing everyone off around you in the hotel is stupid. It's not hard to get wrecked but still have a little bit of control/respect in my opinion.
 
Nothing against you personally, but most of what you're describing is what most people dread coming across in Ibiza.

I'm all for getting messy and having fun, but getting beyond drunk and pissing everyone off around you in the hotel is stupid. It's not hard to get wrecked but still have a little bit of control/respect in my opinion.


On the Sunday yes, we were acting like complete ar*eholes to be honest. It was the only day of the holiday which we really did take it too far.
 
Love this review, very funny and thrilling! My guess is they will kick you out of the hotel before the end of the holiday! Cannot wait to read the rest :)

I personally am always as sober and well-behaved on Ibiza as a pensioner on a golf holiday. But I love reading about other people's excesses :D
 
Monday 30th July


This was probably the day I was looking forward to most on the holiday, the day I finally got to attend ASOT, but after the previous nights antics it was looking in serious jeopardy. I was the first one to wake up at 6pm feeling like I had been hit by a bus, literally. In the process of waking the lads up, I discovered that S1 was in a serious state, constant sickness all day, and that he was not leaving the room that night; L1 had been experiencing frightening hallucinations and was also going nowhere; C1 was proclaiming that he was not touching drink or drugs the rest of the holiday and considering staying in as well and that L2 had not been seen for hours, and had left the room barely able to speak. As you can tell not the best start to the day I anticipated most.*

It had become apparent that we would not make the boat we had purchased tickets for, and that I had a real task on my hands if I was to convince anybody to attend Privelige that night. At that point we all sat down and decided that it was time to calm it down, yes we had a heavy week, but by this stage we could barely continue and the fact we were on our final warning in the hotel certainly worried us. I knew I was a day or two away from complete shutdown and vowed to make the most of what could be my only night out for a few days. A trip to the shop for some drink and a trusty kebab soon improved the mood of D1 & C1 and they both finally purchased their ASOT tickets. We forced down a few drinks and I introduced them to the sort of music we would be listening to that night, and spirits were surprisingly high!

By around 9.30pm we were heading to the west end for some cheap drinks, now I must explain, at this *point we had no intention of taking any drugs, but we all know what a couple of drinks can do. So there I was again, off in search of some "mood enhancers", why I always got picked to do this is beyond me. To set the story for the next few days its important to say I had to get different "mood enhancers" that night, not a good choice in hindsight!*

As usual, we left the west end to the sight of a huge queue at the taxi rank, I don't think it is very good advice to be giving but we always seemed to travel to clubs in some random Spanish guys car to the tune of 40 euros, got there much quicker, but again I wouldn't recommend this approach to anyone. We reached Privelige around 1am, and this being my first visit to the club I was like a deer in headlights, had no idea what was going on. This meant the task of getting in and finding our way to the main room was left to D1 & C1, and by this point they really were of no help. Now I know the club staff turn a blind eye to those entering the clubs, but they must have actually been blind to let those two in, I was fearing I would have to babysit for the night.*

I may go on a little here, but I think that is acceptable when you consider the next 5 hours were the best off my life! We found our way to the front of the main room just in time for Dash Berlins entrance at 1.30am, by which point I was getting my first buzz of the night, just in time. The introductions on this night were just incredible, infact I can't explain the state of excitement I was in by the time Dash Berlin actually walked on to stage. I have watched that video over 100 times since I got home!*

Now I know some of Dash Berlins stuff is the very definition of cheese, but wow was I pleasantly surprised at his set. It was pretty much the same set as he played in Las Vegas - one which I happened to love - and he just nailed it. Particular highlights being when he played Fool for Life & When You Were Around, infact there was far too many highlights to list . I'm not too sure on the times but I don't think he actually played for all of the allocated set time, not that I was complaining, it meant more time for Armin to tear it up!*

By the time Armin came on, to the backdrop of another fantastic introduction, the club was packed, well certainly the front portion was. I was glad I had taken it a bit easier with the drugs, who needs them with music this good anyway? I could go on and on, and on, about Armins set, I expected alot, and got even better than that. I remember go crazy when he dropped his own Suddenly Summer and Headstrong - Love until it hurts and Roger Shah - One Love (Andrew Rayel Mix), I pretty much was going crazy for 2 and a half hours. I don't think words will do it justice. Just incredible!

Finishing was Markus Schulz, and again, wow! I noticed on another review that he wasn't up to his best the following week, that certainly wasn't the case on this occasion. His choice of tracks was as always bang on the money, he is on fire at the moment! But, unfortunately the club was beginning to empty and D1 was ready for his bed, how he was ready to sleep I do not know! But we managed an hour of Markus' set, before I eventually gave in and agreed to leave. I would have stayed until the following Monday if I could have.*

We left just in time to catch a bus back to San Antonio, and I literally was lost for words the whole journey back. On arrival back in San Antonio a hot dog, a few cans of cider each, C1 & I went on one of those, "I could talk for hours" strolls, we must have covered every inch of pavement in San Antonio on that walk.

My description of the night probably sounds a bit cheesy and over the top to a few, but it was, too me, one of the experiences my lifetime.*
As we all know after such a high in Ibiza, you can always expect to be brought back down to earth by a crushing low.......
 
Tuesday 31st August


If it wasn't blatantly obvious before falling asleep the night before, that I would now have to have a few days minus drink and drugs, then it certainly was when I woke up on Tuesday afternoon. I had barely eaten since Saturday night, the cold sweats were now worse than I had ever imagined, I was on edge constantly, but the worst thing by a mile, I had not p*ssed in over 24 hours. That is not an exaggeration, it is an experience I would not wish on my worst enemy. It was clear that I would not be able to eat anything again, so I headed to reception for a TV remote, and consigned myself to bed for the day.*

It was a long day in that room on my own, especially after the violent sickness began! I was at the stage where I could not stop myself from dosing off, it did not matter what I was doing I would just instantly fall asleep without any warning, my body was bereft of any energy. Things were not looking good, and having experienced some terrible comedowns prior to this, I knew the worst was still too come.*

After what seemed like years, the lads eventually appeared back from the pool, feeling tired and worn out themselves. We decided on a sober night down the west end, for the first time of the holiday I genuinely believed we could achieve this. By this time I was slowly but surely piecing myself back together for the night, and FINALLY after 36 hours, I managed to squeeze out a p*ss! Each passing second of the 10 minutes I stood over the toilet improved my mood immensely, you are probably wondering why I am explaining this, but to me at the time this felt like an incredible achievement, I was back from the brink for a few hours at least.*

After an amazing cold shower, I was ready for what would be a challenging few hours to say the least. The lads were going to get a few cold beers and sit in the room, I decided on a walk down to watch the sunset and a usual visit to the Huddle Bar where I would meet them later that night. It was quite a strange sensation for me to be standing watching the sunset completely straight and with a bottle of water in hand, first for everything I suppose. This was shockingly only the second time I had watched the Ibiza sunset in my two years, I guess I just always forgot about it.*

Once in the huddle bar, I had a few fantastically refreshing fresh oranges, and waited for the rest of them appearing. Earlier than expected and surprisingly all sober, they appeared just in time to witness a group of lads from Birmingham (7 of them) drink some sort of fish bowl and almost to a man have to be carried back to their hotel. After seeing this, L1 & L2 decided to could tackle one of these themselves, which they did easily, and were not even tipsy by the time they finished it.

We headed up to he highlander shortly after, where we as usual spend the night. By 1am predictably only myself D1 & C1 remained and we spent the next 4 hours tearing up the dancefloor, who needs drink eh?!*

I was ready for bed come 5am, and left those two too it. Being sober when down the west end at that time really is an eye opener, we had got ourselves into some states so far, but we were not even a patch on the majority walking around the place at that time in the morning! I had a few laughs at others expense before beginning another long walk up to the hotel.*

I was hoping that I would be functional for the Wednesday, a large group of mates were arriving in the morning and it was SHM (80 euros a ticket!!!) that night. But deep down I knew that things were only going to deteriorate from there.
 
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