Just a few general Ibiza observations from last week whilst they are still fresh in my head.........
- first time I’ve flown to Ibiza at the end of August from Newcastle. Majority of the flight were older people in the 40-50 age bracket. Quite a few big groups of stags/hens. They were all really rowdy! And some still off their nut from the night before (07:20 flight) Was actually quite a good laugh. A bloke got lifted by the security staff when we landed in Ibiza though. That certainly made us all pipe down a bit. Don’t know what happened to him, fined maybe?
- Does anyone actually go to Es Paradis anymore? Was in a massive que to get into Defected in Eden and Es Paradis was literally dead. Saw a couple of people walk in and then walk straight back out looking very bemused. As if they’d just walked in on a midget porn movie set or something.
- Saw that Simon Dunmore bloke outside Eden on his phone. Couldn't think of anything funny to shout at him.
- Met quite a few people doing solo trips this year. Most random one was a Libyan bloke that actually lives in Miami. All the time he was talking to me I just wanted to shout ‘terrorist’. Another one was a Serbian bloke I bumped into in Eden. Dressed all in black I thought he was security as he was built like a brick shithouse. Turns out to be an ex boxer, showed me videos of him knocking people out in the ring back in the day. Really nice bloke though, has 3 daughters he rarely gets to see. Apparently his Mam won some money so gave it to him to go on holiday to Ibiza. Asked me to hold his drink while he went for a slash. So bizarre, I think he actually wanted me to spike it or something
- Saw a hippy type woman casually strolling along the strip at cafe mambo with a live rat perched on her shoulder. Don’t know what breed it was, but it was furless. So random.
- Apparently working as a masseuse is well worth it in Ibiza? My missus got offered a job by an Italian lady called Matilda. I was well up for her doing it, but she wasn’t so keen. Boring.
- Two young Irish girls on their first Ibiza holiday. First ever holiday maybe? Sat next to me and my missus outside the Highlander one night and asked us where the 'Superclubs' are and how to get to them and 'which boat party gets you free entry to these Superclubs' and 'how much are drinks in these Superclubs' and about 1 million other crazy questions. I was just thinking f***ing hell, did you literally just win this holiday as a prize yesterday? They seamed clueless, bless them. I actually was a bit worried for them, reminded me of my eldest daughter (14) Told them as much as we could and wished them the best of luck. Hope Ibiza was good for them.
- 2 lads from Glasgow, first Ibiza holiday. One told his mate he wanted to try a few lines. So his mate duly sorted him out, thinking he knew the craic. Apparently it was his first time. Blew his mind. Packed his bag and went home! Left his mate on his own in Ibiza. So he did what anyone would do in that situation, he went and got 'JOE ARIBO'(Rangers footy player) tattooed on his leg another group of lads took him under their wing. I will never forget the footballer Joe Aribo till the day I die. This lad was hilarious without even trying. He tweeted it and apparently Joe Aribo himself 'liked' it. But then 'unliked' it
- Bought a pair of Gucci sunglasses of the shortest ever Looky Looky man I have ever seen! Lucky if he's 3 foot high. Became bezzies. If you see him down the Wezza shout 'Tyrone' at him, he loves it. What a character.
- Was a particular day when it lashed down. We went a walk up the Wezza expecting it to be quiet. Total opposite! The Highlander was banging and everyone had been in there getting on it all day. Hats off to the Jocks, they don't f*** about. DJ was blasting out some of that classic Clubland rubbish, you know the constant mashup of nalin and Kane etc. Everyone was loving it he randomly dropped in an Abba song, and much to my surprise the pub really rocked to it! Never thought I'd see that in Ibiza 'Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight'
- Taxi driver that brought us back from Ibiza recognised us as being Geordies. I was quite surprised and taken aback. Turns out he has an English wife. Really interesting bloke, he was telling us a history of the island from the 80's onwards. Could of listened to him for ages. Felt like asking him to take us back to Privilege and back again
- Really odd bloke in Amnesia constantly filming the dancers with his phone. I'm hoping he was their boss or something like that. Looked and acted like a total pervert.
- Plaja D'en Bossa is still plagued by really annoying drug dealers that follow you harrassing you to buy from them. Fck sake.
- Generally Ibiza seamed a lot busier this year than 2018.
- Played every day at the hotel, but finally managed on the last day to win the Killer Darts comp they do every day! Free T shirt, well worth it!