Interesting Credit Crunch Tips...


Active Member
Probably nicked from Viz in the 90's when the last downturn hit the UK :lol::lol::lol:

DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.

HOMEOWNERS: Prevent burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.

SAVE money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. KVL 741Y,

DON'T waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

AN empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.

HOUSEWIVES, the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.

OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books, simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.

SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

SAVE a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam, they will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.

OLD people, if you feel cold indoors this winter, simply pop outside for ten minutes without a coat, when you go back inside you will really feel the benefit.

CAN'T afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film and press them into your eyes.

WHY pay the earth for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen chips from the freezer and try piecing together potatoes.

MIX tea with coffee, and leave in the fridge to cool. Hey presto! Toffee.

MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.

SHOPPERS, when buying oranges, get more for your money by peeling them before taking them to the counter to be weighed.

WOMEN: Don't waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn't care less anyway and you could use the saved energy to Hoover the house afterwards.

Ryanair May Charge Passengers to Use the Toilet During Flights

Ryanair Holdings Plc, Europe’s biggest discount airline, may charge passengers
to use toilets on its planes, adding to fees already imposed for beverages,
stowed baggage, airport check-in and preferential boarding.

Ryanair generates about 20 percent of revenue from so- called ancillary income,
the money it makes aside from ticket sales ...

“One thing we’ve looked at in the past and are looking at again is the possibility
of maybe putting in a coin slot on the toilet door so that people might actually
have to spend a pound to spend a penny in the future,”
Chief Executive Officer Michael O’Leary said in a televised interview
with the British Broadcasting Corp.
His comments were confirmed by the carrier ...
Yeah I saw Ryan Air latest con.
I will just go once and spend the entire flight in there thus saving any extra outlay whilst on kazee!
another interesting creditcrunch-tip:

Lily Allen strips for discount
Sunday, 1 March 2009

Lily Allen used to strip for cheap hair cuts.

The 'Fear' singer has had the same hairdresser since she was 17
and admits she had a cheeky way of getting her locks trimmed
for a discount price.

She explained to Q magazine:
"I used to flash Michael, my hairdresser, my t*ts for a discount.
It was £5 for every flash.
If I did it enough I'd get it for free!"

The 23-year-old star also forced her friend and collaborator Mark Ronson to pay
for a helicopter to take her to the Glastonbury music festival last year.

The 'Stop Me' hitmaker had jokingly offered Lily "anything you want, a car, a driver,
a helicopter" when she agreed to join him on stage at the event but was stunned
when her assistant called him with a £5,000 quote for the helicopter she had booked.

Mark said: "She completely took me seriously!
And what was I going to say at that point?
I had to f***ing pay for it.
She got the helicopter."
( BANG Media International)
Fat Club

The economic crisis is bad for your health, and that's official.

Recent stats produced by the company, TNS, showed that people were trying
to cut the cost of their shopping baskets by buying less fresh produce.
The sale of bread, pasta and ready meals has increased on a national level,
whilst the sale of fresh fruits and fish declined sharply in the last four months of 2008.

Helmut Schroder, a researcher into heart disease and nutrition at the University of Barcelona,
said that contradictory to popular belief obesity was linked to poverty
and that the current economic crisis could mean an increase in the number
of obese people within the country.

The study went on to show that 43.7 per cent of Spanish people had modified
their behaviour outside of the home, with less lunches and dinners,
and at more economic prices.
Whilst the sale of restaurants in general fell by four per cent last year,
the fast food sector grew by four per cent, a worrying statistic according to Schroder.

The economic slump has also affected eating habits during the lunch-hour,
with 18 per cent more people taking in a packed lunch to the office,
instead of the usual "menu del dia".

Meanwhile, a recent study by Agroeivissa has shown that whilst three out of every four
resident prefers to buy local fruit and veg, many are put off by the price.
The president of the group, Joan Mari Guasch, said that the criticism was important
and something from which his members needed to learn.
Especially in current climes, people were unwilling to pay more for local produce
if there was not any added value to the product.
RECESSION RAVES on your lap-bop

CREDIT crunched clubbers are holding recession raves in their own homes
by dancing around their laptops.

Revellers feeling the pinch have decided to save their cash
and watch live-streamed events from legendary clubs
in the comfort of their living rooms.

Instead of splashing their cash on pricey venue fees, clubbers can log on to a website
and bop around their computer.

The site, Be At TV, has so far clocked up 220,000 registered users
and has had more than three million hits since its launch last month.

Clubs signed up to the site include
- Ibiza's world famous Pacha,
- Gatecrasher in Birmingham, Leeds, Nottingham and Sheffield and
- London's legendary Ministry of Sound.

Be At TV has been hailed as a changing force to the future of music and clubbing
by band Groove Armada.
They said: "'Be At TV is undoubtedly shaping the future of dance music.
User Antoni Heatley, 24, said the site saves him a lot of cash.
"It's a great way for me and my friends to stay involved in the clubbing scene
without spending any money," he said.
They each save around £20 on entrance fees and don't have to fork out
for expensive drinks.

Mr Heatley added: "I don’t think you really feel like you’re missing out on the atmosphere of a club if you have the volume up and there are enough people in the house." ...