Dr Fox

New Member
My name is Dr Fox-Bauer, I work for CCCU, Counter Crap Club Unit. This story takes place on 8th March 2003, possibly the strangest 24 hours of my life....

I'd been looking forward to going to Ampersand all week and had not felt this excited about a night out for some time. Can't quite put my finger on why, perhaps it was due to it being billed as the most glamourous, funky house fueled night around. It was going to be the promised land.

Myself and my mate BeerMatt, made our way to Bar38 to meet Milo a mate from work. Due to last week's weekend of doom (a 3 day sesh), the unit was at it's bare minimum...the troops had dropped like flies. I digress. The house was pumping within the Bar - Backfired filled the air, Kronenbourg 1664 was being sunk at a rate of knots and there was plenty of eye candy ahoy! Alas, we had a date with Twisted Elegance and had to make our way to the club. As it opens at 10.30pm, we got there about 11ish to make sure we didn't have to wait in the drizzell. Outside the club there was no queue and all looked good. 2 bouncers stopped us and asked us to wait. 4 lads joined us in the queue. It was then that I heard those immortal words eminating from the opening door "...guest list". As soon as I heard them, I felt my gut wrench. A gimp with a clipboard came out of the club asked us how many were in our party and then proceeded to look us up and down. Baring in mind that we had pants, shoes, shirts and had scrubbed up well...."Sorry lads, not tonight, you can't come in. You are too casual," the gimp proclaims. Now I'm not one for keeping quiet in situations like this and am usually quite vocal when i regard somebody as taking the p1ss. However on this occasion, i was that bewildered I couldn't speak and walked off flabbergasted. (I still feel disgusted with myself, it's so unlike me to not say even a word....)

Whilst standing about in shock, BeerMatt suggests we go to Holy City Zoo at the hanger, so we jump in a taxi, who takes us up the road to the Hanger, where the Zoo is situated. Only he drops us off on the corner and drives off. We walk round the bend and I instantly notice that the Hanger is boarded up and the street is like a ghost town....cue tumbleweed. Now i'm mad, but we thought , we won't let this spoil out night and headed for Revolution on Oxford Rd, stopping off at Krome bar for a swift pint on the way.

Revolution was on fire, a young kid on the decks was having the tiime of his life spinning the tunes and things were looking up. We decide to head for Funkademia around the corner after half an hour as we wanted to go to a club. Queued up again and entered what I can only describe as hell on earth....although hell isn't that hot! It was full of the weirdest people i have ever had the misfortune to meet, along with a 70's James Brown inspired funk theme tune. We bought 1 can each, drank it as fast as we could (I felt like pouring it over my head in desperation). Sack this, we beat a hasty retreat out in to the cold air...what a sh1thole.

Next stop Venus, at least we knew what we'd get in there, as it was our home-from-home. Unfortunately we realised Elemntal was just up the road and made a decision to go there instead. It's fair to say our entrance doubled the contingent already in the club..... :lol: and that included the bar staff. Only joking, there was about 30/40 people in max. At least we could get to the bar ok. We had cut our losses and decided to set-up basecamp for the night. Although it was quiet, the two sisters on the deks in the main room played to the crowd as if their lives depended on it. I heard some tracks I'd never heard before and was literally gobsmacked (twice in one night???) by the quality that blazed across the dance floor. The Dj's played their set just like the young kid in Revolution, with a passion that was really refreshing. Danced for 4 hours solid and escaped just before the Venus afterparty revellers turned up at 4am. It was time to leave as soon as i nearly fell over some guy who was lying on his back in the corridor, lights out, only to be whipped from his slumber by 2 gorillas and escorted to the rear entrance......what a night.

Oh by the way did I tell you, Ampersand probably the finest house club I've never been to....did have a groovy front door though! :oops:
Sounds quite interesting...and from the detail of your story telling maybe you'd like to write my memoirs? 8) 8) ;)

It's nights like these that make you appreciate nights that truly work out...
Thanks Beeb, you must have heard I'm very cheap! :lol: I recall you had a similar night not too long ago, so you can appreciate the mayhem that ensued. In fact, I'm considering starting a vigilante force to overthrow any club who employs gimps wielding clipboards...I've had enough of them to last me a lifetime. :twisted:
Ampersand is a good place but it does get busy and its quite strict on the door. You can get on the guest list by emailing or texting them.
If u don't look the part then that might hamper the situation its a bit of a Glam style night.
Hope you have better luck next time.
Cheers dFunky, quite a few peolpe I know have been or still go and always make sure they get on the guest list. Maybe it was just one of those hexed nights....just didn't appreciate their excuse that's all. Never had a problem getting in anywhere in town apart from there. Just left a sour taste in the mouth and I won't be busting a gut to get in, in the near future anyway!
I'm so glad I go to Tangled which has no dress code whatsoever( although I've been having a bit of a moan about the tops off bys of late) , I couldn't be doing with these up their own arses doormen. Clubbing should be about going out, dancing your socks off (possibly getting fairly sweaty and unglam in the process) It sounds like you were smartly dressed so what was their problem???? pretentious f*ckers :evil:

Thankfully the only trance club which seems to have a semi strict door policy that I know of is The Cross in London which I've been to once but wasn't that keen on anyway.

Sounds like you just had one of those nights!!!
I agree Helen, clipboard wielders should be outlawed....they have this "I'm in charge here pal" look on their faces as though they take great pleasure in deciding your destiny for the night. One of those night indeed! It ended up okay but it promised to be so much more. The bastards still have the audacity to send me e-mails evenm though i've tried to get off the e-mail list.....I'm sure they are doing it on purpose.

Tangled, isn't that at the Phoenix? Never been, what's the score? I take it from your last comment it's a trance night?
Dr Fox said:
Tangled, isn't that at the Phoenix? Never been, what's the score? I take it from your last comment it's a trance night?

Yup its at the Phoenix. They play house at the start of the night and mainly trance later on (which is my kind of music) . They also have a breakbeat room. It's a dark, dingy club but the music is good and the clubbers are friendly and up for it. Some people think it's full of scallies but it's just ordinary Mancs and there's never any trouble.

I LOVE the place.
Tangled @ pheonix is a good night
its a small sweaty affair and not a glam night but everyone is friendly and up for doing two things, dancing and having a good time.
It gets quite trancey or technoy depending on who's playing but the resident geezer plays house early on.
the upstairs plays a combination of hip hop break beat and D&B
its located on oxford rd nr the university
well worth a visit.
While I appreciate your disappointment at being turned away from Twisted Elegance by our door picker, I am slightly bemused at why you call him a gimp.

The individual you refer to is called Dave and I am the guy who employs him to protect the image of the night by allowing entry to those who look the part and have the right attitude.

By the sound of it Dave was nothing but polite to you, and if asked am sure would have given a valid reason for not allowing entry.

In a city such as Manchester, which is plagued by problems in its club/ social scene, it is imperative to have a door picker, not only to protect the night but also protect our guests.

If you would like to discuss the above then please do not hesitate to contact me via e-mail or by phone on 0777 970 5828
I'm impressed. You are reading a quality website such as Spotlight.

First of all, I have contacted your club on numerous occasions asking for an explanation and to be perfectly frank, they are the lamest excuses I have ever heard. First of all, not being a psychologist or mind reader can I ask what in your opinion "is the right frame of mind?" This was your first reason you gave for the door picker's attitude. Was I in the right frame of mind? Did I have the right attitude? I don't know what you were insinuating but I'd had 1 pint and got there early to avoid queues, what attitude do I need to have?

I know a lot of people who go to your club now and again and they've had great nights. They also know, I believe, Dave quite well now. For one I wish I could say the same but I never got in and I wouldn't be writing on here or have bothered to e-mail you (got copies if you want them) at the time. The reasons given by the door picker were unfounded. One of my friends had travelled a fair distance especially for the night and to be turned away for the reason given, when we were dressed as smart as can be, was ridiculous. In my opinion, on the night, he was being a gimp.

If you had a door policy to remove or decline entry on looks alone, as you seem to imply about the "protecting" of the night and clientel. We are hardly your boverbooted, head the ball, stereotypes, so I do not buy that excuse either.

You still send me e-mails advertising nights, even though I've requested to be took off the mailing list too. And your bemused???

I'm sure it's a fantastic club, the nights seem to have a quality line up from your fliers and the reports I've had from friends seems to back this up, however I'm not going to lie to you or on here and make things up for the sake of it.

Cheers and respect for posting your comments.
Well all I can offer to you is the opportunity to come down and experience the night this weekend if you wish.

I will stand by the door and if I am not there then you can ask for me and someone will get me!

If needs be even take a copy of this with you and show it to Dave.

If you wish to take me up on this offer, I am Alan Hartley and please confirm by phone or e-mail, my e-mail address is or tel 0777 970 5828.

This week we have Miss Moneypenny's


Oh, sorry, forgot to mention, I will get you removed from the distribution list. Just let me have your e-mail address to enable me to do this.
Foxy, the man can't be fairer than that. Its a shame that your night was ruined but here is a perfect opportunity to make amends. Being from Dublin and a fan of 'memoirs' after your Dublin post (Class!!!), I expect you not only to take up Alan's invitation but to submit a full report on the night. I've just checked out the Twisted Elegance website and am impressed. Being a devoted ManU fan I'll be over in your wonderful city during the season and will definetly be looking to check the place out. Maybe the TE doorman turned you away because he sensed you were a Liverpool supporter and if so, fair play to the ' so called Gimp' for turning you away. Respect to the Gimp!!! Only joking buddy!!! If you do go this weekend, have a great night.
True Keifer, Alan deserves respect for his comments. I would be interested to know how he came across the post though. Good to hear you are coming over mate, let me know if you need any advice, I'm sure you'll have a blinder whatever you do. I can forgive your ManU allegiances.....for now anyway :D

Alan, if you are reading this,I appreciate the invitation but I've got plans for the next few weeks and it's my trip to Ibiza and a stag do the following weekend. Perhaps towards the end of next month, we'll get a collective together and make the trip. Should i ring you or go through the usual channels for the guest list? I'm not the kind to remain bitter forever and would be pleased to give a full account on here.

Later people. 8)
Dr Fox, take a bow!!! Grudges just weigh you down. Look forward to the review of TE in true Foxy style. GF had a look at the TE site and she's dying to go there now as well. Hope its as good as its being built up to be!!!
Ok Dr Fox, leave it until the end of the month mate, I fly out to Ibiza on Sunday, returning on Friday 1st Aug.

Please ring me and I will sort everything out, I can only put you down as a freeby, but the rest of your party will be able to walk in with you!

I have not come across any post as yet!

Have a good couple of weeks mate!

And Keifer see you when you come over!